Not coping today

My mind is all over the place today, I thought I was coping ok but I was wrong .I’m so worried that the cancer has spread (my ct came back clear) I know it’s all in my head but I just can’t stop thinking about it. I’m feeling really tired and achy today so I think that has made me think of it. I also got a call yesterday to say I need another ultrasound and possibly biopsy as my mri found another lump in my non cancerous breast. I know me worrying is probably making me feel crappy but I just can’t stop thinking about it. I can’t stop thinking that I’m going to end up like my mum. She passed away 18 months ago from lung cancer (secondary cancer from ovarian cancer). Hers spread very quickly to her bones and they think to her brain (5 month from diagnosis to when she passed). I’m trying to be strong for my kids (5,7,13,14.5) but it’s very hard to. I got a date for the start of my chemo (17th May) which has terrified me as it’s made it even more real. Sorry if I’m just rambling on but I need to get this off my chest. I would talk to my husband but I don’t want to worry him anymore than he is.

It’s a rollercoaster of emotions , some days you can cope ,others your mind goes to the worst places . Most people feel better once they start treatment as you feel something is actually been done to get rid of the bugger !!! It’s very common to have the feelings of being ill , weird pains , twinges after being diagnosed - it’s usually a combination of stress and anxiety and being hyperaware of your body after diagnosis .Hopefully things will feel more manageable soon . We are always here to chat - we understand x

Hi, @ems2007  sorry to hear you are feeling poorly . I’ve been feeling really tired since my diagnosis and achy too if I have a busier day. And I only have one 15 year old at home, so with 4 kids… I can’t even imagine. It’s important to keep moving, exercising, eat healthy, and look after your mental health. 

You can access NHS talking therapies services. I referred myself directly to the NHS website without a referral (or you can ask your GP). Check also if you have a Maggies center near you or any local support groups. And talk to your GP - for example, I was low on vitamin D. It’s a long treatment, so do ask for help - and accept all the help you are offered. All the best.