Not coping very well

Morning ladies,

Got dx 4th May and I have been on an emotional rollercoaster, had mri last wed and they found another suspicious lump so had biopsy which i will get results next thurs. Booked in for a mx on 24th May, when i saw the bcn this week she answered so many q’s but i didnt realise that at the time of my mx i will have 2 nodes removed to see if they have cancer cells in, if so i will have to go back in and have them removed. Im really scared as I hate the thought of having to go in twice.

Also my treatment plan at the mo is a bit vague due to this 2nd lump, and ive been advised that if the cancer is near my chest wall i now may need chemo followed by rads.

When I asked about reconstruction ive been told that i will have to wait to see my onc as I am very slim and may not have enough ‘spare’ skin on my back to do a LD.

I have a good job and my work have been fantastic, I orig said that i would be off for 6 weeks, but now it has sunk in ive been told it could be months.

Im just in limbo at the mo as I dont know exactly whats definate and whats not, am i expecting too much???

Any advise please how to cope as Im a bit of a control freak and im not handling this too good.

Michelle x x x

Michelle, I’m sorry you are in the position you are in. I hope it helps to know that there are a lot of other women who have been in a similar state of uncertainty or are in it now. I started chemotherapy on the day I had expected to go back to work. Sometimes it seems that every time you have an appointment the news gets worse and worse. I doubt very many of us would say that we coped well.

The limbo is one of the worst bits, but as you get more information you can start to plan. Depending on your job, can you reduce hours or do some work from home? Making the necessary arrangements helps because it gives you some control over your life again. In the meantime, besides keeping busy and thinking about other things as much as possible, start to plan a hospital stay bag, find out what you are asked to bring in the way of toiletries, look for some comfortable pajamas, and so forth. Again, this puts you back in control of at least some parts of your life.

There’s no point in telling you not to worry, as you are in a stressful situation. Just don’t beat yourself up over your emotions, which are only natural.

Best wishes,


Thanks Cheryl,

Im going to go out today as its my last day off before I go into hosp and get a few things, may even treat myself to something else nice! I didnt think to ask if I may go back to work and reduce my hours I will ask this week. I work 60hrs per week so I cant see me doing that too soon.

My stomach is churning contantly with the thought of whats to come but I just want to get back to normal asap and i havent even started treatment yet.

Im usually an intelligent focused person but now i cant even concentrate on simple things, im as batty as can be at the moment. Every day I keep thinking ‘this time next week’ its like countdown untill mx.

Thanks for your kind words they made me feel a bit normal again

Michelle x

Believe me, your reactions are totally normal for a normal woman thrown into an abnormal situation. Visit some of the threads and you’ll see that we are all ages, have all kinds of work and family situations and come from all parts of the country.

You may want to find a thread with people also coming up to a mx and then threads about whatever other treatment you have. It can be really helpful to compare reactions, worries, coping strategies and so forth.

I think sorting out something about work would be a good starting place. It was certainly my priority when told (initially) that I would have a lumpectomy, SNB and probably radiotherapy. As things have extended, I’ve had to extend my sick leave, but unfortunately it’s not the kind of job that can be done from home, though I’ve kept in touch with some colleagues.

Good luck with it all,


As cheryl syas send, your reactions and how you are feeling is totally normal. Reading about your emotions I could have just been reading about myself. Being in limbo is the hardest part and not knowing. I was in pieces during the first weeks after my diagnosis and I just felt completely batty as well just doing silly things. I dont know if I can be of much help accept to say that what you are feeling is normal and to try and reassure you too. Its different for each person going through it. Hope my words have helped you a bit, the people on here are wonderful, and you will get loads of support.

god bless you and good luck, things will turn out well for you.