not coping very well.....

Had routine mammogram recently and got recalled - no great surprise, as this happened 6 years ago, when they found a few scattered calcifications. Anyway, went to the clinic earlier this week - now there are calcifications in the other breast as well. Heart sank when Dr explained the x-ray to me 'cos the calcifications are in a neat little line … Had ultrasound and ‘large volume core biopsy’ (has anyone heard of that?) which took ages but apparently they got a good sample. Results next week hopefully, but have managed to convince myself that those calcifications are DCIS at the very least. Thought I could cope, but I’m not doing very well - finding concentration so difficult, mind in overdrive. Supposed to be on holiday in 3 weeks time, but can’t think of that. I wasn’t like this 6 years ago. Any words of wisdom really appreciated.

Hi Shellseeker
I have no wisdom to offer, I am sorry to say. I just wanted to reassure you that you are not alone. I have had a vacuum assisted MRI biopsy last week and will get my results next week. I could have had it tomorrow, but we are currently in France on holiday! My path is pretty much like yours (standard mammo, recall, further mammos, u/s and MRI with MRI biopsy last week) except it is my first experience. All I know so far is microcalcifications, which - like you - make me think DCIS immediately. I have had my moments of complete panick and paranoia too. But I found that in time the thoughts were easier to control and eventually the stressed body followed suit (with a few nervous attacks along the way!). You are in the right place for support. Everyone has been so supportive and caring. Big hugs.

Hi Thinlizzie
I thought I had managed to post a reply to you, but it hasn’t appeared. Just to say thanks for replying. I have felt better and had a good weekend, went for lots of walks etc. Also phoned the Helpline and spoke to someone which helped. Have had a bit of complicated work to do today so getting my head around that has kept me occupied. I’ve been told my results will be discussed in a team meeting on Thursday and I should get a call from a nurse later that day. So not too long to wait, I hope. Hope you’ve had a good holiday. Thanks again xx

Hi Thinlizzie, sorry to hear you and shell seeker have had to,join the ‘club’ . It is scary at first and yes you will find yourselves imagining all sorts of things. I was the same as most of the ladies and gents find themselves on this website.
It is as I have said before ( so sorry if i am repeating it as you may have read on another thread ) the fact you have no control on what is happening. Your mind if it was like mine is doing things like checking your will, planning your funeral, worrying about family members, etc, etc. Having a life threatening illness is a shock especially when you feel well!.
All this is normal but once you know what you are dealing with you will find you can move on and I just wanted I get the ’ alien’ out as quick as possible!. I remember the Consultant Surgeon had a smile when I referred to the cancer tumour as an alien .
Use this and the MacMillian sites and don’t google as it will only make your mind work even more overtime. Your breast care nurse is your new ’ buddy’ so use her to ask questions or just to talk to. The nurses on this site’s helpline are there too as you said shellseeker.
The waiting bit inbetween each stage is difficult and you must try and stay focused. Once your treatment plan is organised you will feel better but expect to have low moments that is normal.
Remind yourselves that you live in a time when cancer treatment has never been better. Spoil yourselves , keep away from anyone who has an infection. I got a bit paranoid about this as it was winter( Christmas) and did not want to catch a cold, etc, as it would have delayed my operation. A tip is to get some bacterial hand gel and keep it in your bag when go out and use for you and anyone else with you to keep your hands clean. Your immune system is weaker at the moment as it is trying to fight the cancer.
Thinlizzie, I had a long thin line tumour 35mms long and it freaked me out as I have always checked my breasts for a lump. as I am a retired nurse and still did not realise some cancers in the breast grow as long thin lines in the milk ducts. Thank goodness for the mammogram programme in my case as I would never have picked up it up before it had spread.
Keep us informed how you both get on, best wishes, Katy.

Hi to both of you
I am back from holiday, with a tan and quite relaxed. I would recommend taking the holiday, Shellseeker. I also have a 15 year old but of the male variety. :wink: As I have not had a diagnosis (yet?) I have not said much to him. I have not hidden the fact that I had to go for tests but have not stressed the reason why. The bruise spread a bit outside my bikini top and he saw it. I did not make much of it in front of him. I guess he is anyway a bit embarrassed as it is his mum’s boob and teen boys are not comfortable talking about that. If I do hear that there is something amiss, I’ll tell him more.
My appt was moved a day earlier and when I asked why, the bcn said because I need an ultrasound… Though she could not confirm, I suspect it means another biopsy! The bs said that there were 3 suspicious spots (at 12, 1 & 3 o’clock). The doc who did the MRI b iopsy thinks 12 & 1 is the same spot that appears to be 2 because I was breathing so deeply. (It was nerves!) But 3 o’clock is not microcalcifications and only showed up on u/s. It has not been investigated, which is why I guess another biopsy. Sigh. If I do 't hear a result (good or bad) on Thursday, I am pretty sure I am going to collapse!
Katy, I am so glad for the nhs screening! My mum has bc but as she was 75 when she 1st got it, I was assured there is no increased risk. I also have no symptoms and would not even have thought about bc or mammos! I thought my getting bc is as likely as lightening striking twice in fhe same family. I guess it is possible. :-/ I am amazed to hear about the variety of bc’s that there are. I always thought it was 1 thing and either it has not spread yet when found or it has. It is a very, very complicated disease. And yet they are able to treat it so effectively! I am glad to hear yours got caught real early on and that it has not spread. I am not sure what your situation is at the moment (ie treatment, etc) but send you a big hug anyways. (I get easily confused about the different people’s scenarios as I mostly read the posts on my phone, which does not show the profile details at same time as the post. Plus, I selfishly get caught up in information that relates to my worries and siituation. Boy, that makes me sound very uncaring. Sorry!)

Hi again ladies, well the waiting is hopefully almost over. After a few fraught phonecalls (lets not go there…) I’ve learned that my case was discussed this morning and I’ve been given an appointment tomorrow (Thursday) morning. Got very stressed this afternoon, but felt better once I knew. Heart-in-mouth to be honest, but OH is coming with me which will help.
Just had a lovely walk in the sun - we live by the sea, its gorgeous. And had one G&T - don’t normally during the week, but I thought ‘why not?’ !!
So - maybe I will be back here tomorrow with some news. Hope this will be the right place to post - somebody tell me if not.
Thinking of others out there, especially all of you with results imminent.

Hi Shellseeker, no matter what the results say, you will feel better once you know what you are dealing with.

It can be a bumpy ride, but hoping you have good news tomorrow. There is so much support on here for whatever you are worried or frightened about.

Get all the information you can, eg. your path report as this helps you understand not just what is happening. but why it is happening.

Jan x

Aha! Shellseeker… Living by the sea… I twigged! :slight_smile: Any chance your sea is near our sea (West Sussex)? I am being seen at Worthing.
What time is your appointment tomorrow? Mine is 10:30. I shall be thinking of you and virtually holding your hand. Or more likely, grabbing onto it and holding for dear life! I know how scary this ‘not knowing’ is. Goodness, even bad new will be ok. At least it is news.
My hubby is coming with me, which is such a help. I could have taken a friend with, but I really appreciate his support. Plus, I think it is important that he is part of this process. It means we can talk about it from the same understanding.

Hi Shellseeker and ThinLizzie just wanted to say hope all goes well at your appointments tomorrow, hoping for good results for both of you xx

Jan - thanks so much for getting back so quickly! I had a ‘wobble’ a short while ago - floods of tears over the sausages and mash … but better now. Cheered me up so much, seeing your post.
ThinLizzie! Lets just say ‘my’ sea is a long, long way north of yours - I’m in Scotland. A lovely area, we’ve been here a long time. Does mean though that I had a long journey to the Breast Clinic though results will be at our local hospital. My appointments at 1100. So yes, lets hold hands - across a few hundred miles, it won’t be a problem!
I’ve just been told to get myself in front of the TV to watch ‘Who do you think you are?’ - one of my favourites. So I’ll do as I’m told for once.
love and thanks to you both. xx and hand holding xxx

Hi Thinlizzie and Shellseeker, thinking of you both this morning , let us know how you get on. Best wishes, Katy.

Hi Shellseeker. I hope you are ok. Have been thinking of you this morning and hope that you also have good news to share. I was told that there is no reason to suspect cancer, though another biopsy is needed. I have posted more details under ‘Good news, so far’.
I pm’d you, Katy. Thanks for your support.

Hi Thinlizzie, ladies. Trouble getting online tonight - sorry! Not too bad day after all - will post under your new thread ThinLizzie.