well went for my appointment this afternooon about RFA and i cant have it !! too many tumours on liver , i was so hoping for this , i held it together in there with my hubby but came out and balled my eyes out ,. oncol tried to tell me that i have one more taxotere and i would keep on xeloda and that should keep me stable but i said what if it doesnt , he said well there are other things still we can use .
well i have come home and downed 2 large wines , dont know what to think now …
Dear Tracy,
Just to say I’m so sorry to hear your news. Lots of us out here thinking of you so don’t feel alone. I expect you really want to lash out, well do it, lash out at all of life’s unfairnesses and how they seem to be spread over a small proportion of people that includes you, be angry and get it off your chest. Then have some more wine …
I wish there was something useful that I could say or do. I think you’ve already met up with some ladies on here so perhaps you could meet again this week and get a hug or three.
Best wishes
D
i so wish i could meet you all now and have a hug , you must of of read my mind i was just thinking the same . yes am on my 3rd glass now crying again .
love you all
Hi Tracy
I’m not saying be positive - anyone who hears me say that has my permission to lock me up and throw away the key.
BUT, as your oncologist says there are plenty other things to try in the meantime and maybe they cannot yet rule out surgery and you need to get underway with some more drug therapy. Did they give you some timelines to think about, something to work towards? Try and get a timeplan from them so you can fix in your mind what they will give you and when and then at least you’ll be able to plan social events and the all important holidays etc. I expect you are going to have a rotten weekend, try and get some exercise, go for walks even if you just need to be with your thoughts. I bake cakes when I’m upset so the neighbours suffer too, so do the nurses at the hospital - that’s my way of lashing out/hitting back.
If all else fails just cuddle up together and get hammered - it’ll do you both some good.
x
Hi Tracy,
I am so sorry to hear your news - that’s bitterly disappointing. No wonder you feel rubbish. It’s hard to know what to do with yourself when you’ve had bad news isn’t it? It’s like a dark cloud envelops you and it’s impossible to think of anything else, and I never know where to put all the feelings. Wine sounds a good start (not too much now!), and fresh air and exercise, and lots of sympathy from understanding friends and family and lots of hugs. And shopping tomorrow!?
A big hug coming your way.
Love Jacquie x
Hi Tracy,
I’m sorry to hear that you can’t have RFA, especially after the hard time you’ve had on Taxotere and Xeloda. As your onc says there are other chemo options and lots of girls are quite stable on xeloda for long periods of time. Please accept a big cyber hug from here in Wales and I’m off to the pub soon and will join you in a glass of vino!
Take care and spoil yourself this weekend,
allie
Hello Tracy,
Sorry to hear that you can’t have RFA at the moment - what a roller coaster ride this disease is. I am afraid I polished off a bottle of red last week after getting my scan results…know its not the best thing to do but hey ho being sensible didn’t seem to matter much !!! Just wanted to let you know I was thinking of you.
Take care,
Jettie
Really sorry to hear you cannot have RFA, I asked for this but didn’t get it as Xeloda was working so well (lesions not visible on scan now). It is so disappointing when you get your hopes up believing you’ll get your preferred treatment and then get knocked down when you can’t have it.
It is hard to keep picking yourself up after another knock back, but we all need an outlet and to have a good cry, a bottle of wine or two helps to numb the pain.
Wendy XXX
Hi Tracy
So sorry to see your news. Join the club - me too got the same result as you and think we must have been mirror images of each other today. I sobbed most of the way home, nearly an hours journey and again at home. So heartbreaking and emotionally upsetting. Just posted on my secondary liver post about it all, and now off to join you with my glass of wine too.
take care and speak tomorrow.
Love
Dawn
xx
Sorry to hear both of your bad news re RFA.
There are lots of chemo options and people can be stable for quite a while on capecetabine. They are also starting to recycle chemos so if you had taxotere last time you have taxol next time and doxyrubicin instead of epirubicin.
Enjoy your wine but I’m so sorry you did not get the news you wanted.
Love Kate
Posted on behalf of Terry
Tracy, don´t give up. My wife is the same and the Xeloda and Tax has kept her stable for 2 years now and it still looks good,
XX
Sorry to hear no RFA for you Tracy. It is so difficult to rally when you have had your hopes dashed. Hope you manage to have a good weekend.
Jenny
x
thanks for all replies , i have had a long lie in this morning and have began to put my head back together again . yes it sure does make you feel awful when your hopes are dashed , this is a horrid way to live .
now i remember my oncol yesterday asked me if i wanted a chemo break or to carry on with the xeloda , i am too nervous to have a chemo break as last time when i finished andrioymicin and went on aromasin the tumours had a huge party and went wild .
Dawn i am so sorry you had bad news also and on the same day gee .
well when you girls meet next time i would lov e to come , as you know i am in the channel islands so i hope to book and get a reasonable priced flight , something to look forward to . i have my last taxotere next thurs so wont hav e that to worry about like last time .
anyway off to town to spend some cash .
love to all Tracy xxxx
Hi Tracy,
Yes, you must definitely join us next time. Glad you feel better enough to go out and go shopping. Enjoy it and treat yourself.
Big hug
Jacquie x
Hi Tracy
Just a few words to say, I’m so sorry to hear your news and I hope the retail therapy has helped to soften the blow.
Hugs also from me, take care.
Love,
Jen x
Hi Tracy,
Just wanted to say how sorry I am…it must have been such a terrible disappointment.
Love
Claire x