Hi kit,
Welcome to the forum and sorry that you have had cause to join all the fantastic women on the forum!
1 - Tell your husband, don’t wait. I’m sure you would want him to tell you asap, if something was up with his health rather than yours. You need support from someone close to you at home, plus you might want to consider asking either him or a friend to go with you when you get the results of the biopsy. Often they tell you what initial treatment you need at that stage/meeting.
2 - Obviously it’s a personal thing, but it is a good idea to tell a close friend, preferably one who is not too prone to panic, for support. It is really important just to be able to talk about how you feel (even if it’s about not feeling while in shock!)
3 - While you won’t receive the full diagnosis until the medics receive the results of your biopsy, you have been informed that you have breast cancer so you become protected by disability legislation. This however only kicks in once you have informed your employer. I would suggest you inform your manager now, keeping the info short, letting them know the oncologist has informed you that you have breast cancer and that you will update them once you know what the initial treatment plan is. Also inform your GP.
4 - In light of the diagnosis, and absorbing it, do you feel up to being at work now? And are you sleeping well enough?
Go and see your GP and discuss matters. While physically you may feel fine, just tired and mind whirling, you now need to adjust your mind to thoughts of focusing on health, being as well as possible, so that you can get through treatment as well as possible. If that means your GP signing you off sick due to breast cancer, that is fine.
5 - Re whether to tell work colleagues - personal choice whether to tell colleagues after telling your employer and most likely not a decision you can easily make right now. I waited until I had full biopsy results, and treatment plan and felt ready to inform colleagues. Clearly it is up to you whether colleagues are informed you are off sick - full stop, or why or anything else.
I wrote an email saying I had been diagnosed, would be off having treatment, asked people not to say sorry (since it made me cry!), that I would return, and a cup of tea now and then after my return would be appreciated. I also added a para reminding people to check their breasts and pointing out that all the men know women! I then asked the head of my department to email the message with a very brief cover line to a list of colleagues.
6 - You may find it best not to be too prescriptive re timescales - once you know your initial treatment plan keep it to initial treatment x commencing in month y. While I appreciate the school will need to know re cover, that is their responsibility, and you/your health now has to be your priority and you need flexibility since you may need a number of treatments.
I hope that helps - apologies if it sounds a bit like a shopping list! In your own time, one day at a time.
xxx
Seabreeze