Hi Harkes so sad to hear about your Christmas and about OH. My relationship with OH has actually improved with my diagnosis as for the first time in a long time we are talking about our feelings, our fears etc
Hi Harkes
Sorry to hear you had a bad Christmas, on reflection we probably all did but painted on our smiles and told everyone what a lovely day we were having but really screaming inside.
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My relationship with OH is under strain, all he seems to do is shout at me (I think he thinks that if he shouts loud enough the cancer will go away). Ā I really feel like telling him to move out until this is all over, the only time he has hugged me since my diagonosis was when my sister shaved my head. Ā OH has moved into spare room and although Iām surrounding with amazing family I feel so lonely (Iām awake half the night so it made sense for him to sleep in there).
i have tried to talk to him about how I feel, explain little things like making me a cup of tea (no he doesnāt ever do this) every now and then would make all the difference but itās like talking to the wall. Ā I try to understand heās frightened (not that he has told me this) and feels out of control but a little kindness goes a long way. Ā Hopefully we can ride this out without me murdering him.
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keep strong youāre not on your own love Tbird
Hi all, Harkes and Tbird, sorry to hear about your problems with OHs. Think itās so hard for us to express our feelings and I think it is for most men even more so. I have to say my OH is very supportive, coming to all my appointments and chemo sessions, has always done most of the cooking anyway, nice little acts of kindness like tea and chocolates and today has even gone out with my son to buy him new school shoes in the sales which is a first (school shoes are usually my responsibility and we both usually avoid the sales like the plague!). Still itās not all roses, our sex life has gone to pot since starting chemo, my fault, either I am feeling too awful or just no libido anyway. Doesnāt help that I go to bed about three hours before him now so am fast asleep by the time he comes up. We should talk about it but neither of us has brought it up yetā¦
Harkes, think you should try and sit down and chat with your OH though, so itās not all boiling up inside you. Donāt make it too accusatory but just say you are feeling really vulnerable at the moment and need all the support you can get. Suggest some doable ways he could do that: if he doesnāt cook, maybe he could clear the table and the kitchen afterwards so you can relax. Or he could limit doing his hobbby and spray painting to when you are having a nap?
Hope everyone else had a nice Christmas. I was lucky and at the end of my cycle so had a lovely family day at my sisterās. Had EC No.3 yesterday which was fine, much easier now Iām using the port and only had to prick that once as did bloods and chemo all in one day because of Christmas closures. Third EC out of 4, then 4 T to go (hopefully, unless they extend chemo if there is no lump shrinkage).
Not feeling too bad today, very dozy and not bothering to get dressed as I may soon be back in bed for a siesta. Nausea seems to be under control so far with all the meds ?. Oh, got a nifty pill box for Xmas which has been great for my 40-odd supply of pills this session, no fear of wondering if Iāve forgotten to take one or am overdosing ?
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Hi Harkes
So happy you had that cry and talk it does help. Ā We did have that talk after a huge row on the day of my 2nd chemo, I think I shocked him with how I was feeling and my black thoughts, we both cried he said he would try more to think of me and for a few days he did. Ā
I suppose I donāt do my self any favours because I always show my strong side and try to do everything myself. Ā I sit watching Tv with OH sometimes thinking I would love a cup of tea but havenāt got the energy to go into the kitchen, I donāt ask him because I know he will do it begrudgingly and I donāt want it like that, I want him to offer. Ā
Like with you Harkes it might be the age group Iām 63 and OH is a very young 73 who still works 3 days a week helps with grandkids etc so perhaps itās a case of old dog new tricks ha ha.
Im going to try the talk again and see how we go.
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Love Tbird xx
Harkes, so pleased you have cleared the air with your OH. Really sorry you found yourself in hospital on Christmas Day, that is pantsĀ :smileysad:
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I think as a rule we donāt do ourselves any favours by trying to carry on as if nothing is wrong sometimes. Iāve just had my third and last FEC (so it can now FEC off!) and although it knocks me off my feet Iāve done two loads of washing and all out on the line, washed my wig (first time, hope it dries well!) and washed up. Now Iām paying bills online when all I want to do is sleep.
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Third FEC went without a hitch after me passing out in the chair during no 2, same nurse so I think she was pleased there were no more dramas from me!
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Anyone about to go on to T chemo? Iāve been given a huge box of steroids to take pre T. Wondered if this is normal? Iām having bad reactions to the steroids and this is 8 pills to take the day before I have my first T, when I have terrible trouble with just two a day (reduced dosage) think I need to chat with onc at the pre chemo appointment. My face flushes up and burns badly on two pills and I am once again having trouble sleeping, and my heart races away, think T will be troubleĀ :smileysad:
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Stay strong ladiesĀ :heart:
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Hi Harkes
im not sure if OH has found this forum and read my posts but all of a sudden he has become attentive caring and has even made me a couple of cups of tea, it just makes things so much more bearable.
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Holeinone, I start T 8th January so hopefully it will go well. Ā I do feel a bit nervous like I did before I started FEC but Iām sure it will be all good.Ā
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Ladies Happy New Year, this year we kick butt xxx
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Love Tbird
Hi ladies
Just catching up
I think me and my hubby may need that talk about scream etc
He was fab to start with but over Xmas has been grumpy and snappy not like him
I had PICC line fitted yesterday , my arm has texted to something so I said I need to see if I can have antihistamine as my final EC is due tomo , his reply anything for sympathy
Then later I said can we put out new blinds up in kitchen to be told he was tired he hasnāt had a day off over f ing Xmas
Which he did Xmas day and Boxing Day
He has had to work but so have I
Not forgetting that when he is home I have done the cooking and cleaning
Just feeling really quite hurt by his snappiness and grumpy ness and with chemo tomo I think Iām just emotional
Sorry for long post
Iām interested to see how the change over of chemo is for everyone xx
Hello November girls. Just want to wish you a very Happy New Year in advance as I wonāt make it to midnight this year ???, feeling very rough so not going to even try. However know next week is going to be better, finishing chemo will be even better, finishing BC treatment even better still and this time next year should be a vast improvement! So scope for 2019 to be a good year still for all of us. Big hugs xx
Hi all, dropped off the radar for a while there! Been coping with Christmas and all that entails. Hubby has been very good at coping but increasingly grumpy. I do my best but sometimes I just canāt. Anyway, Happy New year to everyone. Hereās to a better new yearā¦ Good health and happiness to you all. Donāt worry about starting new regimes, weāve all done it before. We are the half way girls and each passing day is closer to the end of treatment. We can do it!!!
Hi November ladies, hereās hopefully to a happy and healthy new year to all of us :smileyhappy:
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Like you Liloc, I didnāt make it to midnight as was wiped out by my final FEC, which has proved to be a strong oneĀ :smileysurprised:
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Hoping for an easy transition to T and continued best wishes for all of youĀ :heart:
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Hi ladies,
Wishing all of us a happier and healthier new year ahead. Half way through and thought I was coping well until New yearās eve hit and all the posts about the coming year on Facebook came out, all a bit too much when youāve just had 3rd chemo and feel rubbish after injections. Just as I was getting used to taking each day at a time again, the thought of the whole year rolling out in front of me was a bit too much to think about.
Anyway the dawn of the new year this morning made me feel better to shut the door on the last few months of 2018.
We can do this, weāre half way through. Wishing those of you moving on to the next stage lots of love and a smooth ride. Iām probably moving to weekly chemo - donāt know if anyone else has been offered this? 9 weekly instead of 3 x3weekly which my oncologist recommends. Apparently I donāt have to do the injections which is a big plus for me right now.
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Happy New Year everyone! As I have been on a trial I have been having my chemo weekly and will be on week 9 (end of cycle 3) tomorrow. I had Paclitaxol and Carboplatin for the 1st week and every 3rd week and Paclitaxol only on day 8 and 15 of my cycle. The weeklies will end after week 12 (4 cyles) Then, I will begin 3 cycles of EC every 3 weeks, which I am dreading after reading the side effects you lovely ladies have been experiencing ? So, in essence weāre doing our treatment it in reverse. I know weāre all different but for me personally having the chemo weekly has been very manageable and have still managed to live life as normal as possible. The main thing Iām suffering is the build up in the fatigue but again listening to my body and resting when needed does the trick. So Iām hoping for you all that you have a better standard of living for your next half of your treatment ? Will be interesting to hear how you all get on xx
Hi everyone
I started steroids today prior to first T tomorrow, my instructions say to take 4 in the morning then 4 before 3pm today, tomorrow and the day after I thought if you take later in the day it makes it difficult to sleep ! Guess we are all being given different instructions ? Just had 1st injection for Herceptin seem to be ok at the moment nurse has said main side effect is a headache ā¦can deal with that !
Take care all
Tracy x
Hi pigeon,
I feel exactly the same about T, I start next Tuesday and somehow feel like as I have coped relatively well with FEC that this will be the one that wipes me out, fingers crossed iām wrong about that. I saw my oncologist tonight and between us we discovered that the hospital forgot to give me the steroids to take before when I was there last so now they have to work out how I can get them!
Good luck to everyone especially those starting new regimes, letās meet back here next week to discuss how s*** we feel!!! Happy New Year all lets hope this year sees the back of the big C for us all ?
Hi Jencat, wellā¦ I took my second dose at 6pm last night and was awake until ~3am! Unlucky I guess, but Iām not surprised, as the nervousness for starting T wonāt have helped with any sleep issues! Today I will definitely stick to morning and afternoon doses.
Hi Sals, I had a bad time with FEC for rounds 1 and 2 with sickness, exhaustion, aches and pains, etc (although no unplanned hospital visits, fortunately) but round 3 went fairly smoothly and I seemed to bounce back relatively quickly in the second week, so who knows how T will treat me! We shall see over the next few days/weeks ? I just wish I knew what to expect.
Happy New Year, and Good luck to everyone starting to new regimes! Iāll keep you all posted with how I get on. xx
Good luck to all those starting the change over to tax I just finished my fourth EC and Iām dreading the change EC has been shocking and Iām preying with all my might tax is no worse
I also get very fed up of people saying you look well
Well I donāt and the heap of weight doesnāt help
So Iām now blinking constipated have took some senna letās hope it works hehe x
Hi all
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Sorry to hear your treatment has been put back Harkes, it must be so frustrating and very painful having shingles.
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to all others starting T this week Iām having my first T Tuesday 8th and am so ?? Ā myself, but at least we will be all in it together and can swap tips on SE etc, and for those who have to wait another week we can share tips with you. Ā I think starting T is like starting FEC for the first time again, itās the fear of the Unknown ahhhhh.
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love Tbird xx
Well! After all that faffing with steroids and other pills in preparationā¦ I turned up to my appointment, sat in the chair, got all hooked up to the drip, had my steroid and anti sickness injectionsā¦ the nurse went to fetch the taxotere from the pharmacy, and apparently the pharmacist couldnāt give it to her because one of my liver function counts is fine, but the other one is too high!
So long story short, they got in touch with my oncologist, and he said to postpone a week, plus have reduced dose next week!
Have to admit though, although itās frustrating to have to postpone (and have more time to spend fretting over the anticipation of first T), Iām a little relieved to have another week of feeling ānormalā and being able to get stuff doneā¦
Hi Pigeon
Sorry to hear your first T has been put back a week but like you say itās nice to know you will feel ānormalā for another week.
Went very well today feeling ok with no side effects yet but will take each day as it comes ?..only had about 15 mins sleep last night ? doubling up those bloody steroids meant I was wide awake still donāt feel that tired tonight !!
Do you usually have your bloods done on chemo day ? I have mine done beginning of week about an hour before appt with consultant so they are back for him to check its ok to continue that week 's treatment
TracyĀ
Sorry pigeon just seen your previous post you had bloods done day before not chemo day ?
Xx