Hello, I was diagnosed with triple positive IDC breast cancer in March '23. Having had neoadjuvant 16 chemo cycles EC/Pax, mastectomy, 6 phesgo, 10 kadcyla with 4 more to go… I have just found out my mum has been diagnosed with breast cancer too. I am devastated and heartbroken. Why is life so cruel? It isn’t a hereditary cancer for us, just f*#!ing bad luck!
How do I go through all this again as carer? It’s already been so hard. How do I tell my children? My poor dad who also lost his sister to this cruel cruel cancer. I’ll be with them next week to find out the full diagnosis and treatment plan. How do I stay strong for them and family? She was my rock and I’m exhausted.
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So sorry to hear this it’s hard enough what you are going through but trying to be strong for everyone is so hard especially when you are exhausted and struggling
Sending hugs to you life is so unfair xx
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so sorry to hear about your mum now too we’re all here to listen if you need ears. Maybe your mum can join the forum too as she can navigate her way too as we all know how much we protect friends and loved ones from reality of everything during treatments, so it could give her her safe space too day at a time and a treatment at a time is what they need to remember everyone is here for you and your mum use all the bcn resources and also speak to your MacMillan at your trust you must look after you too 
Shi xx
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My Mum was diagnosed aged 80, the exact same cancer I had 18 years ago, aged 36. We now know its not genetic. She wanted to do chemo herceptin radiotherapy etc because I coped pretty well. I was heartbroken, I went to every appointment and it felt like i was going through it all again. It was pretty traumatic for me. She coped well and despite her age she is now out the other end and getting on with it aged 83. It was a bumpy journey at times. She is glad she had treatment, she wanted to be around for her grandchildren and thats what gives me comfort. I really feel for you and hope you can all get through and out the other end soon.
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Hiya,
I am so deeply sorry to hear about your Mum, such dreadful bad luck like you said. You and I have the same diagnosis and have followed a v similar treatment plan. Well done on getting to 10 of your Kadcyla cycles so far, only 4 to go. I’m up to 12 now. We’re nearly there, and can start trying to work on building up our strength again.
Your family has so much knowledge and understanding of the process now and that experience will stand your Mum in good stead. When we think what little we knew of the different treatment plans and how it is all so individualised, and what to expect and how to manage the side effects. Together you will get your Mum through this, like she has helped get you through it. really hope she gets a treatment plan soon and you all know what you’re facing moving forward. The not knowing is so hard to deal with.
Sending hugs and best wishes to you and your Mum.
Helen.xx
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Thank you so much Helen and well done on reaching 12 Kadcyla. It really is tough.
Are you having a full body scan after you finish kadcyla? Starting to look towards how to monitor for potential recurrence now. I feel like I caught mine late as it was 45mm but in honesty, it was so difficult to feel and never felt like a lump just some hardening which was expected during perimenopause.
Treatment plan for mum on Wednesday. Going along with my parents and as you say, we are all pros at this now! Hoping I can help her through it all with all the tips I’ve learnt from everyone here and elsewhere over the past 18 months.
Good luck with your final kadcylas.
L xx
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Hi, my daughter and I both have breast cancer diagnosed a month apart. It’s devastating and I understand your fears. My daughter and I have become much closer as a result and we’re undergoing radiotherapy at the same time. Try to stay strong and positive. Much love to you and your mum xxx
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Thank you. It’s lovely to know you and your daughter have become closer. I hope you are both feeling well as you go through radiotherapy. If you don’t mind me asking, did you have the same/similar diagnosis? Have you reacted to treatments as well as each other? I guess that is my fear as we are all so different.
Sending best wishes to you both xx
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Hi @Thetawave. How did it go at your Mum’s appointment? Hope having a treatment plan in place has been helpful and you’re managing to dig deep together. Thinking of you all.xx
P.s. No, haven’t been offered a full body scan once Kadcyla. In fact, I’ve been moved to patient led care already, before Kadcyla has even finished, which has thrown me a bit. I wasn’t expecting it yet, although I know it has to happen moving forward.
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So sorry to hear this @longmuir1949 , but sounds like you and your daughter are pulling together and helping each other through it, which is beautiful. Sending you lots of positive vibes and best wishes.xx
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Me and my mum are also going through breast cancer treatment at the same time for the same hormone positive cancer. My mum diagnosed 2017 had lumpectomy and radiotherapy now has a secondary breast cancer in her lung. Me diagnosed June hormone positive had mastectomy August and planned chemotherapy lymph nodes positive. We have had genetic testing done and waiting for results. My sister has now been put on early screening. How many breast clinics treat mothers and daughters at the same time ? It can’t be that often and does it offer more research opportunities to look at both ?
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So sorry to hear about your mother and your own diagnosis. It is so tough. I find it really hard to share how I am feeling with my mum now as I am conscious of keeping her spirits up. I had been so reliant on her emotionally before she was diagnosed. I am more focused on her now and so scared of losing her. She does seem to be managing treatment well (better than me!). The cancer had already mastasticised on diagnosis to her lymph, lung, bones and probably liver based on scans. She’s on Ribociclib and letrozole. My research into this combo looks really positive. I’d be really interested to hear from anyone also on this treatment. We have different diagnosis. I am triple positive, so this treatment wouldn’t be relevant to me.
Research would be interesting. Really glad they’re scanning your sister early. A good proactive step. We did genetic testing and no, nothing genetic. Just highlights how common breast cancer is and how we can all be affected.
Sending healing energy xx
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