Oh dear - struggling a bit!

Hi everyone, (copied to this forum thread!)

After the initial elation of my biopsy results (not as ‘bad’ as I thought - HER2 negative, G2 IDC, surgeon ‘unsure’ whether I’ll need chemo or not - I’m in my 60s), I went and flipping Googled breast cancer stages and prognosis last night. Now I’m struggling with anxiety and convinced that I have advanced cancer (there were no nodes on the scan & he couldn’t feel any).

My surgery is in 2 weeks.

Ive been really positive up to now, but this has really knocked my confidence! 
Just need a hug and some positive stories please? Xx


Hi nanny of 2 :heart:Please step away from the google. We’ve probably all done it though in the start. Please phone the ask the nurse on here and the someone like me option. It’s easy to get ???after google. Please soak to your team and your bc nurse too, they have seen it all before it’s just you are ??? just take things a day at a time and treatments one at a time, step by step you will get through. We are all here ? ???:sparkles::sparkles:Shi xx

Hi Nannyof2 (how lucky you are)


I’m so sorry this is an anxious time for you. First of all, you have learnt the hard way that Google is not your friend. Most of the info is out of date or beyond our (uninformed) comprehension and statistics are completely unhelpful, as my breast care nurse got me to appreciate. Please keep away from the temptation because what’s been seen can’t easily be forgotten. The nurses here are wonderful if you have any questions and can’t ask your team.


You’ve taken a huge blow - a frightening physical diagnosis which will be dealt with swiftly and surely, but less acknowledgment of the huge emotional trauma that comes with it. Bang goes that safe world you thought you lived in; along come uncertainties which are highly improbable but are still there. You are faced with scary decisions and the prospect of handing your body over to other people to sort out. And so many what ifs…


It’s a huge trauma and you need to make allowances for yourself as a woman and a human being - none of this ‘I should be strong’ nonsense. You need to look after your emotional wellbeing more than anything right now. Tears are good. Cuddles and laughter are good (yes, there’s a lot to laugh about if you look for it). Mindfulness, meditation, exercise, relaxation will all give you a respite from the anxiety and help you reduce your anxiety. 


I resorted to videos on YouTube. I’d plug in my earphones several times a day and listen to Progressive Hypnosis’s Manifest Healing or a Michael Sealey video or Good Vibes (binaural beats that actually DO reduce your stress). They saw me through surgery, a prolonged wait for treatment and all the treatments I had (the full menu). I’m not saying they were the cure for anxiety but they definitely helped and, 6 months on, I still use them when I can’t sleep or if I have a bad day.


It’s not a walk in the park ahead of you. But it really is all bearable. The hardest thing I found was the emotional aspect and that calls for ‘selfishness’ as you must put your needs first. It’s not selfish, it just feels like it. If you don’t want company, you say no. If you need a lift, you ask a friend. If the anxiety feels overwhelming, you ring your GP and ask for help. And you come on here and meet people who understand - soon you’ll be giving more advice than asking questions :slight_smile:


Good luck with the op. Do those exercises - they are essential both short and long term!


Jan x

I can SO identify with you Nannyof2. I consulted Dr Google and put myself into a state of acute anxiety which I’m still struggling to come back from. 

It’s so tempting - but we really don’t need the kind of negativity and scaremongering which the internet is so full of. Every case is different and only those dealing with us personally can comment on it with any real knowledge. 

We should police each other- give a heads up when someone’s tempted to Google ?