Im seeing the doc tomorrow after waiting 7/8 wks and terrified that he’s going to tell me my life expectancy. Had left masectomy 8 weeks ago and lymph nodes out but was only in the one after all when they expected more. Also dont need herceptin - dont know if any of this is actually good news - scared Im living in my little bubble and hoping everything is going to work out as I only hear the bad stories.
Hoping my chemo wont start until next week so that I can have one more nice weekend with my mates as everything that seems to be written about the chemo sounds like hell for the next nearly 5 months - Im terrified about needles and worse that they wont find a vien.
Sorry for the miserable text specially when the weather is lovely just fear setting in again
xx
I saw my oncologist three weeks before starting chemo, so it may be that you have a few more lovely days to enjoy before you start. My oncologist didn’t give me any info about life expectancy etc, and I think it may be that they only tell you if you ask or if you say you haven’t made your mind up about whether to have chemo or not. At the end of the day chemo isn’t pleasant but if it gets rid of the cancer then it is worthwhile, just a sXX to get through; however I always think that it is a few rubbish days to buy me loads more enjoyable days with my family and friends.
Thanks for that - puts it into presepctive, shouldnt feel sorry for self when others lots worse.
Thanks for your advice just a wimp at the chemo as everyone keeps telling me how horrific it is and I have a major fear of needles. Just hope ongologist doesnt have any more worse news for me
xxx
youre not feeling sorry for yourself, the way you are feeling is normal, most of it is fear of the unknown with chemo, I know that was the worst thing for me.
Chemo was not horrific for me and not horrific for lots of women on these boards. Chemo has changed dramatically over the past few years and it is not, for many women, the terrible experience it once was. They will give you lots of meds to help with side-effects. I had 3 FEC and 3 Taxotere. Actually having the FEC was fine, the chemo suite was friendly, full of women going through the same thing and I cannot speak highly enough of the nurses. After FEC I would vomit the once and then no more. In fact I stuffed my face with food constantly! The worse side effect was my white blood count dropping and I had a couple of gum infections which were easily treated with antibiotics. I also had ulcers but nothing that couldnt be dealt with. After FEC I had Tax and didnt vomit with this one at all. However, I did have some strange joint pains and felt very tired. I got into the habit of early to bed and late to get up as well as a nap in the afternoon, I was lucky I could do that I suppose. If I tell you I had to go into hospital after the first Tax with a low white blood count and a temp it sounds terrible. In fact I didnt feel too bad and actually enjoyed being cossetted in my hospital ward, lots of chocolate, rubbish magazines, puzzles etc. Actually, I resented people coming to see me as they interrupted my rest!
I am not going to lie and say chemo is easy because it isnt. However, it is doable as many women on these boards will attest. You will be able to do it. You have already done so much.
I cant help with the fear of needles but I do know that the chemo nurses that have dealt with me have been absolutely brilliant, they have infinite experience of giving chemo which means that they are very good at it.
Don’t EVER think you are a wimp at chemo - it is hard but NOT as hard as you think it will be. Us women have an almighty inner strength and when we need to use it we do! I am AMAZED at how strong I have become since being dx triple negative in March. I have just done my 2nd FEC and awaiting a portacathe insertion next week. Please ask your onc for this as it preserves your veins and chemo is alot easier to administer.
Chemo isn’t horrific but it is scary, but once you have done it you know more or less what to expect. The best word I have EVER heard on here about chemo is that it is DOABLE - which it certainly is!
Thanks both, made me feel so much better - Im off to bed now to get a good nice sllep before tomorrow - sure once started at least I know what to expect.
I am guessing from your posting that you will be starting your chemo tomorrow - have only just read this thread. Just want to say good luck, and I hope that the day is not nearly as bad as you are thinking! The ladies above are so right, it’s hard of course, but it can be done, and you will get through it for sure. I finished four weeks ago now having had 3 FEC and 3 Taxotere and am really feeling good again. Also, although the first week, in particular, can be a time that you really just need to lie low and take everything day by day, hopefully the second and third weeks you will be feeling much better and still be able to have fun with your friends. Just to rebalance the horrid stories you have been hearing, I flew to England from Australia for a week and back again after my third FEC and before first taxotere, and it was all fine. You are pretty much bound to get some side effects, but you are highly unlikely to get all of them! So take each day as it comes. You know you will get masses of support here. Very best of luck, and let us know how you get on. Sarah x
Sarah, thanks so much for that - off to hospital soon (well once tidied up!!). Sounds really brave of you to fly in between, good on you. Thanks for all the support
xxx
Lisa
If you had needed herceptin it is treatment every 3 weeks and I understand it is for a year (from a really young friend of a friend who needed it) so you may not feel so bad about not having it. That means you are not HER2 positive which can be an aggressive one but responds better to other regimes, so swings and roundabouts. I had read a bit about it and was quite happy to be receptive to something, I am e+ and pr+ so get tamoxifen for 5 years after chemo and radiotherapy. I quite like the idea of taking something to help after my treatment has finished, which is when I think I will feel a bit vulnerable. We are all different.
Hope it goes well for you today
Lily x
I hope it goes well, I wasn’t sick once after my treatment and i didn’t take the sickness pills they gave me. I did get the strange joint pains though but they are manageable with rest. It was no where near as bad as I thought, but I hope none of us have to go through it again.
Hiya - Im here and not too bad. Thanks for that Lily re the herceptin, got similar feedback and like you feel reassured that have something for 5 years! Thanks all for comments, the hopsital part went okay and even got a vien first time (with the aid of a bucket of hot water), only one sick bowt during! Had a really crappy first night feeling sick, achy and didnt know where to put myself - bit better today, been for a walk with the mut and had a little drink but trying to take it easier but staying at my parents reminds me of being sick after my surgery so will probably move home soon - hope it stays like this cos is doable!!!
Hi Lisa
were you sick during it? Gosh that was not good but hopefully they then gave you something to help. I had to be stuck in a bucket of water as my port could not be accessed, feeling annoyed that I had another op and 2 more wounds for that but they are hopeful for next time when it has healed so fingers crossed. Hope you stay reasonable now. I had a bright red face all day and a bit acidy tummy today so taking reflux tablets. Today was my worst day but nothing to speak of compared to others and no nausea, but only on one drug which must make a big difference. Slept a lot which surprised me as I was told steroids would make me awake. Never slept so much in my life! Good luck over the next few days and let us know if you go back home.
Hope everyone else on this thread is ok and thanks for all your info which is helping me too.
Lily x
H i Lisa found you on this thread now and glad your chemo went okay but sorry you feels sick - hope it goes soon. I had my 3rd lot today and I had to have the bucket of water treatment but
they found the vein 1st time again so that was okay. Bet your parents are spoilng you are they? Make the most of it! I am still up at the minute as I get ‘steroid insomnia’ after my chemo -lasts for about 3 days then get tired and like bubbly have joint pain…only linked it to the chemo after reading this thread.
xx
Hiya Both
I wasnty actually sick during it (managed to hold it down), think it might have just been seeing the red stuff go ina dn hitting home that Chemo has started. Hope its easier for you next time. Glad youve slept Lily give me and Holly some tips as god think I only had hour last night!!! Being spoilt aqt parents but makes me feel like Im in so I might move back home in a few days, I’ll see what happens after the steroids finish. Have joint pain and a little bit of bunged up nose and scikness but nothing as bad as expected - hope we all do as well as we can
xxxx
Hi
I know what you mean about seeing the red go in. I had forgotten how scarey that was and I was sure I would just pass away on the spot until something distracted me, probably the -3 degree helmet rammed on my head , which adds insult to injury but hey if it works it will be worth it. I am so sleepy I had a coffee with a friend and came home to sleep. Then went for a wander around a farm with my daughter and Grandson at the slowest pace. I sat on every bench and really covered such a small distance and I still to go and lie down in a shed when he went on the slides and she found me fast asleep again. drove home and bang off I went again. I am naturally an insomniac and sleep under 7 hours each night. Everyone says I look great - ASLEEP!!!
I have been taking steroids, etc so it must be the epi, hope it is not affecting my heart or giving me anaemia. I started off with massive blood counts but who knows where they are now?
Guys hope that shut eye comes to you soon
Hugs
Lily x
Hope you manged some sleep - I sleep very little too! Feel like Ive been hit with a brick in the back and stomach today - bit worried as had a bad back sicnce found out had BC off and on which they just said would be stress but scared it could be something else but only got worse today when steroids have worn off. Its very wierd I dont feel like me anymore, feel a bit in limbo as if im just waiting for things to happen and then when the hair comes off Im gonna look totally different - wondering if I’ll ever be me again as even after all this there’s teh worry constantly of it spreading.
Sorry for a downer - it is nice outside so gonna try and take dog for walk and stop feeling sorry for myself.
Lisaf
Poor you, how is it going today? Might be worth mentioning your back if it keeps going. I was told if a pain lasts 2 weeks to mention it, not sure I would wait that long. tension through stress would give you back trouble too. I am a giant slug, no energy, dull, eyeballs scrambled and cannot even look up at the screen. I felt so well straight sfter the chemo and i feel worse now, I wonder if it is because I have finished the steroids. I know what you mean, I have to sound off every now and again and all I can say is THANK GOODNESS FOR JACOBS CRACKERS without which right now my life would be so much worse!!!
Thinking of you
hugs
Lily x
Hi Lily
Back on 30th to see how things went so will mention back pain then, just bit scary! I know exactly what you mean the first two days didnt seem too bad (after the first night), but since steriods finished hits in. Yum, might try and jacobs cracker, things make you feel ill but actually eating them aint so bad - might even attempt a small wine to see if eases the pain.
Here’s to a better week
Lisa
xxxx
p.s. Sal, sorry to hear how you feeling, it is all very scary but once chemo starts its one more step to fighting it and giving us a better chance to enjoy our lives
xxx
Lisa
please do not buy any Jacobs crackers I really need the entire stock of the united kingdom!!! Seriously though keep us posted about your next visit. I know it will up the stress if they investigate it but at least you can stop thinking the worse. We are with you on this x.
Sal, hi, how are you doing today? I will be with you shaking in my respective chemo chair having number 2 on 10 June so we can hold hands that day. Some of the others are on the same times too, which is nice as you don’t feel quite so alone. Hey that lovely daughter and her daughters after, that’s why you’re doing it. Hang in there, perhaps you can concentrate on getting things done or ready so you can just concentrate on yourself on the day. It will be ok.
Lily x