@loupy well done for speaking up. I really wish I’d said that comment was really hurtful, but I was so taken aback I didn’t say anything much. If they say it again I will though!
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Me too @loupy People keep saying my short hair is better……. It’s a weird thing…..but it makes me feel my past self with long is /was ugly. I like it short but that reminds me of cancer I guess
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That’s exactly how I feel @outdoorsy x A massive criticism of how I chose to look, as opposed to the ‘style’ cancer and chemo imposed on me!
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@dilly I’ve been looking back at old photos of me and trying to decide 4 myself.
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Ah @outdoorsy @dilly I don’t think it should make you feel like that - I’ve lost my filter with people and now say was my hair shit before then 
You’re beautiful whatever hairstyle you choose! My short hair reminds me of what I’ve been through every time I look in the mirror - sometimes not in a bad way I remember how far I’ve come and I’m still going!
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@outdoorsy same! Questioning myself but also mourning because 18 months ago my hair was nearly down to my waist. I keep looking at a picture someone took from the back that summer. I don’t think it’s ever going to be like that again. I absolutely hate my hair now: it’s short, scrubby, thinning bits, mad chemo curl bits. And I think it’s so important not to hate ourselves, but here we are…
@loupy you have a wonderful outlook x I just look in the mirror and hate everything, which I know is completely unhealthy…
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@dilly believe me I have days like that too, it’s so hard! I don’t have the chemo curls yet mines still a grey/white mix buzz cut just what I always wished for
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@dilly have you looked into counselling? I keep thinking about it but not sure…will it help with stuff like this? I just keep thinking it won’t change anything but 
…
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@loupy yes, I’ve had two sessions. Guess what I think I’d better bring up at the next one lol! I’ve certainly found it really helpful so far. My counsellor has given me different ways to look at things, and also validated my feelings too.
I just wish other people took a moment to imagine how damaging their unthinking comments can be to someone with cancer. I didn’t mind the people who said ‘Oh, it’s cute!’ to my short hair cut, even though I didn’t agree, because I knew they were trying to be kind and encouraging. But to actually say it was an improvement!
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Glad you’re finding the counselling helpful maybe I will look into it x
I know! You’re not alone I think I’ve been told it more than a few times 
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@outdoorsy @loupy I bet we all really rocked our previous hair, so 
to the naysayers! And we shall rise again, in new plumage, like phoenixes!!
(OK, time for a lie down Dilly…)
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Morning. The hair thing is so hard - mine too was (ironically) down to my breasts. I have had the strange comments too.
Mine is growing in, and have spent a fortune on products but i feel so lost without my hair and breast. X
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Love to you too @sbee xx Hair is so much part of our identity, isn’t it x
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It is. And it is growing back very differently which i hate. 40 this summer and just feel totally dead inside. X
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@sbee I’m so sorry, it’s really tough at such a young age xxx
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I understand the motivation and well meaning-ness, so I try to nod and smile rather than growl, but I am increasingly tired of ‘my friend had cancer and she’s fine /totally back to normal now!!’
I am also not sure if I were that friend I would want someone else to declare me fine / normal repeatedly 
she may not be at all, but too tired to say so haha
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@sbee so sorry you are feeling like this, sending you lots of love 
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lost count the number of times I have been told ‘well losing your hair is a small price to pay’…. which of course is absolutely true - but its my hair and I still can hate how it looks now!! x
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Yes, there’s always the chance she says that because that’s what everyone wants to hear and anything else just creates a problem. Certainly the case for me! Looking forward to my first counselling session later this week where I am hoping to finally be able to tell someone how I really feel without the resistance.
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I had a similar experience when someone told me that their brother worked through chemo and other treatments as though they were fine / had been fine which made me feel pretty inadequate . It wasn’t til about a year later that I found out he had later had to go into counselling - so obviously not fine at all ! People can be selective with their info. and it chimes with what they want to believe . I take all these stories with a large pinch of salt now ! Xx
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