A year ago today my safe, comfortable world collapsed when I was diagnosed with aggressive Stage 3 Grade 3 breast cancer after finding a lump. I can’t adequately describe the sickening fear that brought. I spent last Christmas Eve in hospital having an operation, then had chemotherapy and radiotherapy and will take pills for the next eight years to try to prevent a recurrence. The treatment has given me scars, made me ill and unfit, made me lose my hair and thrown me abruptly into early menopause. Those are the bad parts of the past year.
But there’s been a good side as well. I’ve had the constant love and support of my family and friends, to whom I’m eternally grateful, and I’ve made some wonderful new friends all over the country. I’ve learnt how dedicated the medical profession are, how hard they work and how lucky we are to have the NHS (especially our Primrose Unit here in Bedford). I’ve discovered what a beautiful creation we live in and I’ve realised how much I love life. Now that it’s growing back I’ve even found that I like having short hair. There have been a lot of prayers and private tears but also a surprising amount of laughter; it’s quite astonishing how much noise a gang of fifteen badly behaved bald women can make in a restaurant in Reading!
On balance I’d rather not have had to make these discoveries at all, so I’d like to say a huge THANK YOU to all my family and friends for getting me through the year. Life will never be the same again and I don’t know what the future holds. I try not to look over the edge of that cliff too often, but I know that you’ll be there for me.
Thank you again everyone – and have a very Happy Christmas!
Jane thats a beautiful post. I am also at Primrose unit in bedford and agree they are Angels at Work and make it so much more bearable having these horrible treatments.
Glad you are a year on and loving life, i wish you a very long happy future and a wonderful christmas!!
Beautiful post Jane. I am very much in agreement that this year has brought many blessings along with the pain. I feel very enriched by having met and become friends with you all.
Happy Christmas and a healthy new year to everyone xx
About this time last year, I learned that I would start 2011 with chemotherapy. On the very day I was supposed to go back to work following what was expected to be relatively minimal surgery (WLE and SNB) and rads.
Jane, Mary Grace, SCACO, Peachez, SB, Troymaiden, TSR, Trip, 021210, and many other Woodies, plus the others who held hands back in January, and the gorgeous Golden Girls from the More Mature Women thread, I really couldn’t have done it without you all.
No, BC hasn’t been a blessing in disguise, but I have encountered some blessings along the way.
Merry Christmas, and a better 2012 to everyone who has staggered through 2011. My wishes that it’s all as bearable as possible to those of you still on the path (or stumbling off it.)
Lovely, lovely post Jane I’m coming up on 2yrs next month, since the world imploded and i couldn’t agree with you more about everything you say - the bad and the good!
Lovely post Jane. I particularly agree about the care of the NHS. I hope you have a lovely Christmas
Lizzy
p.s like your profile pic…i used to be into Minis
Some Anniversaries are firmly stamped on us; I agree that BC isn’t a blessing at all but the treatments and care we receive are. Here’s to counting our blessings and enjoying our lives. There’s no point in fretting about things we can’t change or even foresee.
Wishing everyone the best possible Christmas and New Year.
I can totally understand how you feel, your words touched me and bought a few tears.
Its been a year that i certainly want to see the back of, i had my yearly mammagrame last week and was told on tuesday that they dont want to see me for a year, so after tears last year let us raise our glasses and toast each other to a VERY HAPPY CHRISTMAS AND A HEALTHY NEW YEAR.
Thank you everyone for your kind comments. I’m still waiting for the results of my first annual mammogram which I had two weeks ago tomorrow. I’m assuming that no news is good news but still not quite sure whether we should crack open the half bottle of Moet that’s waiting in the fridge tonight or not.
Lizzy, the Mini is Spike, my 1989 Mini Thirty. I think he’s beautiful!
Your post was lovely and I totally agree about the NHS angels. Having lived abroad, I know only too well how blessed we are in Britain to have the wonderful NHS and of course the Breast Cancer Care website and the wonderful people who run it.
God bless you all.
Mx
Hi Jane,
A lovely post, thankyou. I agree with everything you said. My journey started 18 months ago, but today I had my last herceptin! An emotional day in many ways, but I got to spend most of it with the ladies at my local breast cancer care support group. So many lovely new friends and blessings along the way.
Happy Christmas and Good Health and Happiness to you all in 2012. xx
1m almost2 years on from a 23rd December 2009 diagnosis of aggressive stage 3 breast cancer & Im still trying to get over the shock.
The word aggressive was mentioned 19 times by my Oncologist in my first consultation so I have found it very hard to consider any blessings in my Cancer life,but Yes, most of the cancer care staff are very special, and a crisis of cancer has brought wonderful support from my family and friends.
This website is special too - its where I come if I want to mull things over, & I seek, and get some degree of solace from the commonality of diagnosis with other members.
Hi everyone,
Just read your post Jane - lovely and so true. Like you I had a two week wait after my first annual mammogram,which was unusual as normally I get results straight away. So by the time I had appointment with Consultant, I was a nervous wreck. Turned out everything was fine, a mistake - result had been sent to Consultant but not me, so no news was good news. Had Christmas card today signed by onc and his team - nice touch, which I really appreciated.e
This site has been invaluable to me, I’ve learned such a lot gained reassurance and had my spirits lifted when I felt low.
Happy Christmas everyone - better than last year!
Love loula
Well said! You have said what many of us feel. There has been sadness and pain this year for many of us, but also much joy, laughter and new friendships.
Thank you to you and many others for all support and Happy Christmas and a healthy New Year to all.
Very inspiring and I so NEARLY keep getting to the same place myself. But, back in hospital for my third Christmas in a row - this time with a blood clot up my arm and round the portacath. Still, it will be fixed soon and I hope I can join you on the plateau, away from the edge of the cliff soon.
Happy Christmas to all those on this site, and running the site who keep us sane and not lonely.