One Year Since Diagnosis

Life after a breast cancer diagnosis Coping with fear and anxiety
1

Hi, 

I’m new to this forum.  This coming Wednesday will be one year since I was diagnosed with a stage 2, ER+, Her2+, 23mm carcinoma in my left breast.  The lymph nodes were clear.  After 7 rounds of FEC-T chemo, a lumpectomy, then a second op to remove some DCIS in the margin, I was given the all clear in December.  I finished 20 sessions of radiotherapy on the 1st of March.  I will need to be on Herceptin for one year and need to take Tamoxifen for 10 years.

Apart from digestion issues, I seem to have got through the chemo with no long term side effects.

 

Sadly, my sister passed away due to breast cancer aged 42 in 2016.  I have had genetic testing and was told I do not have the BRACA gene.

 

I know that it will take some time to get back to a “new normal” and I have the Moving Forward book from Breast Cancer Care, which is a great help.  I am also trying not to get as stressed about things as I used to and am using breathing techniques to help with this.

 

The past year has been such a whirlwind.  I’m 40 and have a beautiful, beloved, 5 year old son.  He has been my strength and driving force, but sometimes a sweet smile, laugh, or gesture etc from him, still has the power to rip my heart out, just like it did when I was first diagnosed.  I know that I am lucky in so many ways, and am truly thankful, but sometimes feel that I am living in a constant state of fear.  Cancer is the first thing I think of in the morning and the last thing I think of at night.  I fear any aches and pains and my body is a source of fear for me now.  I read newspapers and unintentionally find myself looking out for stories about cancer (not a good idea, I know).

 

I am definately a different person to who I was one year ago, and I am trying to adopt a new, calmer way of thinking about everything.  Cancer certainly puts things in perspective.

 

I’m sorry if this sounds like whinging, which some would correctly say it is, but I was just wanting to share these thoughts and ask for any advice about “letting go”, just a little bit, and how to feel hope again. It’s so true when people say that unless a person has been through a similar experience to you, they cannot fully understand how you are feeling, no matter how hard they might try.  I know I’m more aware of these issues because the first anniversary is coming up.  Sometimes I feel mentally drained and exhausted, but am trying to pull myself up.

 

Thank you for reading this. X

 

 

2

louiseh

 

I just wanted to say you are not whingeing, it is perfectly natural to feel that way you have been through so much it does take time to adjust, but you are clearly doing some positive things to help you which is really good.  Many of the ladies on here will totally relate to what you are feeling.

 

I am now two and half years past my diagnosis with active treatment finished in Jan 2017.  I can honestly say that it is not the first or last thing I think of in a day now.  yes it has changed my perspective on life, but in a good way, I no longer stress about things that are really not important.  I do get aches and pains still but again they pass very quickly, I dont know if it is the hormone tablets or just that I am getting old :).  I was told that if you still have something that you are worried about and it has not gone after two/three weeks, then to give them a call, if for nothing else peace of mind.  I have never had to do that, but again you cant help but get concerned because of what you have been through.

 

Sending you hugs

 

helena xxx