One Year Tomorrow my world changed......

Evening All (wasn’t that the opening statement for Dixon of Dock Green for anyone old enough to remember???). I’ve not posted on the Forum for a little while although I do check in quite regularly to see how everyone is doing. So, one year tomorrow, precisely, my world changed. Feeling a bit rubbish tonight hence the late post but I know I will still get at least one response from the night owls!! Kept myself busy watching the International Space Station fly past us a little earlier, such a great distraction from normality when you watch it whizz over our planet knowing there are real people up there!!! If I think of the last 12 months from July 25th 2017, it’s such a blur from the ‘routine’ mammogram that ended up being two mammograms, an ultrasound and biopsy all within 2 hours of turning up that day. What followed was a confirmed diagnosis of IDC Grade 2 Breast Cancer two days later followed by ovarian scan, removal of contraceptive implant, cervical smear, colonscopy, lumpectomy, sentinel node biopsy, radiotherapy x 15 regular sessions and 5 super sessions, Letrozole, DEXA bone density scan, full body rash suspected side effect from radiotherapy or Letrozole. Changed brand of Letrozole. Rib pain followed by another ultrasound and bone scan as they achieved less than 1 mm clear margin from my surgery. All clear thankfully and life goes on!!! Back in June I completed the 20 Mile Pink Ribbon Walk with a good friend of mine for BCC and was delighted to raise £1,870 for this wonderful charity. So tonight I am fresh out of positivity to be honest. I know how fortunate I have been and I’m well aware of the no of women enduring this miserable journey, all with different treatment plans and outcomes, but it doesn’t stop the overwhelming crash tonight when I re-live tomorrow and worry that, at any second, IT could come back and I just don’t want that horrible, negative feeling hanging over me like a hurricane waiting to happen!! I need to give myself a slap with a cold wet fish to stop indulging myself in the ‘what ifs’ and what really may be around the corner scenarios but tonight I jut can’t. This horrible diagnosis locks you in with the misery I’m reluctant to say. Answers on a postcard please xxxx

Hi Anita

I think you’re journey probably echoes many ladies on here. The endless round of tests, the anxious waiting for results and all the invasive treatment that follows.

It takes over our world during that time and that’s not easy to forget.

I’m a year further on in my journey than you, and I would like to say that time is a good healer. I no longer wake up with bc being the first thing on my mind. I can allow myself to plan and think about other things that id like to do. It never totally goes away, and can rear it’s ugly head around mammogram time . But I can put it at the back of my mind and get on with my life. I never shy away from telling people what I’ve been through. I’m proud of myself for getting through it all and telling people that I am now cancer free.

Anita we all have down days, but I promise you that it does get easier. xxx

Fantastic achievement with the charity work…you should be proud of yourself!

best wishes

sue xx

Hi Anita Jane I was diagnosed April 14 which was 4 years ago I like you wobble every new ache or pain in my head means it’s back . Most of the time I’m good I love holidays and always need something to look forward to next month is four years since finishing treatment I had aggressive grade 3 breast cancer it does get easier I promise .

Thank you Sue - back to my normal positive self again - at least for now! Anita

Thank you Rockstarchic for taking the time to reply to me. Really appreciated x