Hi,
I have just joined this forum today, and I am not sure exactly where to start, apart from needing to talk it out (I hope you don’t mind) I was diagnosed with stage 3 aggressive breast cancer 15 weeks ago and have had so far 3 lots of Taxotare over 12 weeks in the hope to shrink my lump to prevent having a mastectomy. And the results have been good it has shrunk enough to have a lumpectomy, and the surgery has already been booked in for a week on Tuesday. The downside to all this is that I celebrate my 30th birthday on the Thursday and it looks like it will be celebrated in hospital. Plus before I new I had cancer my husband and I booked two events away which happens to now follow the operation, I know these are not major things but for some reason I just feel annoyed that it will most probably be spoilt by the after effects of surgery.
I think out of all I have had to deal with so far, is the news that they will definitely be removing all my lymph nodes from my left arm when they remove the lump. And as yet I have still not managed to get my head round this, it feels like every time you go back for treatment the consultants tell you something else (I just wish they tell you it all in one go), the second time I went back they mentioned I was oestrogen positive which requires treatment for 2 years, the third time it was the lymph nodes. I was originally informed that my lymph nodes where ok, so to be told later on that to be on the safe side that even though the chemo has worked they can’t say for sure that no cancer cells would be left so this is my only option. I feel angry and upset every-time I think about all the things that come with having your lymph nodes removed.
I was handling the chemo and everything else that comes with it really well and was staying very positive but since this news I can’t seem to get my self out of this mood.
I hope you haven’t minded me rambling on, but I just needed to do something to try and work this all out in my head.
Maria
x
Maria I was the same. The trouble is that before bc most of us had never realised that the disease could be so complicated. I thought find lump have it out or tit off. Bit of radiotherapy and hey your’e cured. How I wish it were so. I like you had a steady drip drip of news than more news. When the doctor said I could have herceptin I could have kissed him. A few weeks later older and wiser I found that it wasn’t good news. Actually it was good news for me as 1 year prior to that I wouldn’t have been offered it. I had all lymph nodes removed and haven’t had any trouble yet. At first thay don’t always have the full picture. You will deal with it and once treatment starts you will start to feel a bit better as if you are taking control. It is so hard at first and everyone on here will understand because they’ve all been there. Take care Love Eileen
hi Maria - i was diagnosed 3 years ago and also had my lymph nodes removed - like Eileen, i havent had any problems either.
i hope all goes well for you,
Carol
Thank you for your kind words, I think I am starting to accept this is going to happen, and I know once I have had the surgery I will just get on and deal with it, and just pray that the worst doesn’t happen.
Maria
Hi Maria,
‘welcome’ to the site, you are in good company here. I was diagnosed in March, age 34. I had a mastectomy and total axillary clearance a week after diagnosis. My tumour was grade 3, 4cm, hormone receptive and HER2+, also I had node involvement. Phew!!! As Eileen says, I never could have imagined that this disease would be sooooo complicated. It seems I knew v.little about bc prior to diagnosis and it has been a VERY steep learning curve!
I want to wish you well for your forthcoming surgery. Its a bl**dy nuisance that you will be ‘celebrating’ your 30th in hosp, what a shame. I have found, since I started chemo in may (I’m on E-CMF), that everything ‘nice’ that is due to happen like weddings, birthdays and other celebrations are all so close to my chemo that I have been unable to go due to feeling like sh*t!! I really resent the fact that this ‘interferance’ has totally taken over my life. For much of the time on chemo I feel great, its just typical that weddings and such like all seem to take place too close to my treatment for me to be able to go and enjoy myself. Boo!!! We’ll just have to make sure we have nice things planned for the future, when you have recovered from your op and I have finished my chemo.
If you are worried at all about lymphoedema, as I was, then bc haven have a good dvd you can order called ‘lymphoedema awareness - reducing the risk’. Its great and I found it really helpful.
Take care of yourself and let us know how your op goes. ‘HAPPY 30TH’ in advance!,
Kelly
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Thanks Kelly, for the advice, I will have a look for that DVD, we have a lymphoedema clinic here I’m told so I should be able to get hold of it.
My lump was the same diagnosis it grade 3 and 5cms in length, they gave me two options, 1st was mastectomy and 2nd was to try chemo first to shrink. I went with option 2 and I’ve been lucky it worked enough to shrink it down to 2cms I still have to have a wide excission.
I know exactly what you mean, everything that we have wanted to go to has been on the weekend of the first week of treatment, where I am at my worst. But luckily for once I have managed to get my surgery changed to tomorrow 8/8 so I will be home for my birthday (which has been a huge relief) and should be able to still go away for that weekend.
I’ve spent most of today having the assessments, one thing I can say I haven’t had much time to worry about it, as I have just had to get everything organised (including my husband) so that my little boy is also taken care off. At least by this time tomorrow it will all be over. don’t you just get fed up with waiting, I spent 4 hours just waiting to see people again today.
I will let you know how it goes in a few days time.
Take care
Maria
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Hi Maria,
sorry I missed you before your op today. I had chemo yesterday and don’t tend to go on the internet on chemo day. Anyway, I know I will have missed you but I hope it all goes/went well and I wish you a very speedy recovery.
Oh, and its great news that you will no longer be spending your 30th in hosp, what a nice early birthday pressie for you!
Take care and let us know how it went,
Kelly
-x-
I had a lumpectomy for benign lumps…however was back in hossie 10 days later for a mastectomy and lymph node removal…all of days before christmas last year…how much fun was that! My consultant said…just write off next year, get your treatment done…then pick up your life again…yeah easy for you to say mate! Ive missed a few weddings this year purely cos of peeps being ill…over the dodgy chemo period…so decided was safer for me not to go. Upset a few peeps cos they thought i was being over-dramatic…wasnt til i got poorly after somebody had a cold that they realised just how dangerous it could be to a limited immune system. Ive got a wedding to go to this weekend, and its a full weekend job, no kids etc, so mums having the girls and me and hubs get a weekend away in a nice posh hotel. All chemo is now finished, i feel great…rads start next week…ive started five years of tamoxifen, but dont need herceptin.
Its a tough year chick, you cant plan for anything as you dont really know how you are going to feel…hozzie visits, check ups, chemo dates, op dates…just seems neverending.