Hi all,
I feel so guilty for posting this but this is the only place i can ask. I’ve got bone mets but i am beginning to feel really grumpy when friends, work collegues etc start moaning about small things in their lives. I am yet again waiting for scan results . I hate myself for feeling like this I would never share these feelings with them. does anyone feel the same or am i really turning into a grumpy old woman. ? x
Hi grumpy old woman 
only joking angelina! I think many of us have times like this when we just want to scream at people - see how you would cope with what I am coping with! I guess before cancer we probably did a bit of it as well. In a way it is good that they can do it in front of you cos it would be awful if they kept stopping what they were about to say for fear of upsetting you. I can remember times walking down my high street wanting to shout at everyone that I had cancer - why I have no idea.
I hope the scan results you are waiting for are o.k. The waiting is hard.
Dawn
xx
Thanks for your reply. Has really helped. just having a teary day. Results fri. Not long to go now. Lots of love. x
Hi Angelina,
yes I think we can all relate to your post. We have to carry on regardless protect the healthy people from our scary tales of our experiences and listen to their fears over pig flu!
Friday is almost here and I do hope your scan results are good. Sorry you are having a teary day.
Love Debsxxx
Hi Angelina,
I too agree with the girls…
we all feel like that at some time or another and I think I used to get feed up of people moaning before I had cancer but then I was a hairdresser!!!
It is normal and understandable for you to feel like this.
People forget and I think they just don’t think…
It doesnt mean to say that you have to be happy about it.
Deb’s,
I’m waithing to hear about the male version of pig flu!!!
So far noones managed it in my village!
I too wish you well for your scan results.
Best wishes
Tess
Oh the dreaded wait for scan results!!!
It is always and anxious time.
Good luck I hope all is well, and yes I get really fed up with people moaning about what seems like trivial things to me.
But that is people eh? I really hope all goes well for your results and remember that some people live for many many years with cancer and they are coming up with new advances all the time.
Once again good luck with the results
Fayjay69 x
Hi
I understand, have one aquintance who should know better but its all she ever does is moan and it’s all about her, also she has no other topic of conversation other than work! What a horrible narrow blinkered world to live in.
Thankfully it’s just the one for me, even male friends have been brilliant infact exceptionally so.
I do think though that having this s**t disease does tend to make one(well me at any rate) much less intolerant of the people who moan at the small stuff, it always did before but its 10 fold now.
Also makes me appreciate how wonderful others are so guess a bit of swings and roundabouts.
g
Hi Angelina,
I too get so annoyed with other peoples stupid grumbling and moaning about nothing,and I am sure we are not alone.Silly comments about when chemo is finished you will be over it or you can get back to normal.I have now just let them have their say and keep quiet as Waste more energy trying to explain the facts about bone mets.We are dealing with the C word and people still do not know how to handle it.I have actually lost touch with very good(or so I thought)friends.Will keep in touch.My middle name is Mrs Angry!!!Don’t let them grind you down.
Maureen Milton Keynes
Hi Angelina
I agree with what you and everyone else says about other people - I’m just trying to ignore their comments these days - in fact I’m phasing out a couple of ‘friends’ who get me down.
Just wanted to say all the best with your scan results today, will be keeping everything crossed for you
Lesley xx
Hiya Angelina. I can totally relate to what you are saying. A close friend of mine ( serial suicide attempt nut)Was rushed into hospital yet again this week grrrr! I know its all about a cry for help, but this time I have been very very angry and hard with her. I dont think the softy softy approach was doing her any good anyway.
She was one of those who said " oh by Christmas it will be all done with and you will be fine"
I may seem hard, but how can she contemplate throwing her life away when so many are fighting day in and day out for theirs ?
I know its a illness too, but her poor kids!
Oh the very best of luck today darl. my prayers are with you. xxx
Hello everyone…oh Angelina thanks for starting this post, i thought i was maybe going mad with my new zero tolarence attitude ha ha great to hear i am not and chances are we are all a lot more sane than those around us after bl**dy BC . I even had someone ask…what is it now, when i was feeling really crap at the end of my 31 sessions of rads. I too have started to filter people out of my life at first i felt so guilty about this but i then thought if i don’t feel comfortable being honest with them maybe they are not such great friends. I never inflict my moaning on others around me…ok apart from on here…but sometimes i just wish they would cut me some slack and realise just because i am not moaning or complaining doesn’t mean i am handling it, it just means i am ‘keeping it together’. Oh Lordy i have even really cut down on the old vino as it just loosens my tounge ha ha not good idea on an ‘off day’. I had breast reduction on my non cancer boob week before last and one so called friend even asked was it really necessary and wouldn’t i have been better just ‘getting better’ and back to work and not inflicting more surgery and time to heal on myself. aaarrggghhhhhhh…rant over grumps xxxxxxx
oh i so agree with all this.
the smount of people that think you are so brave because lots of us do handle it well. when i first got breast cancer most people just expect you to be ok and i just went along with it
but now i have i have brain mets, i will listen to there moans about trivial things is part of live i supposed, well sometimes i can’t listen to people that don’t even ask how you are
But no way i am going to listen to there things like the bus being late as a major thing not to tell how i feel, they seem to conveintly forget you have a death sentence, and whatever they have is obvioulsy more scary than we have.
saying all this i have the most amazing support team around me so i am so blessed, but again there are quite a few so called friends that i just don’t want to know anymore
Ha ha i think my tablets or the rads to my head are changing me this is the first major moan i have had
Thank you all so much for your replies. I feel human again knowing that i am not alone in this. Results good on fri. Solitary bone met remains static. No change since first scan in jan. Great news although my appointment was at end of clinic and had to wait an hour and a half. I fully understand why but i was so nervous re results felt like an eternity. My husband even resorted to reading vogue from cover to cover to fill time ! Love to everyone x
Fantastic scan result Angelina - really pleased for you. Still doesn’t excuse other people moaning about trivia though.
Take care
Lesley xx
really pleased at your positive results Angelina.Just wanted to add my grumpy old woman thoughts.I have widespread bone mets and a lung tumour thats ?new primary/secondary causing lots of hosp appts procedures and anxieties -hubby has trapped nerve in elbow and whinges non stop-everyone has to hear about it -he goes to the chiropractor and l get the whole session replayed when he gets home-are you getting the picture!!!Yes l want to scream but what good would it do so am learning to grit my teeth and get on with it!!lovely to get that off my chest!!
Actually I’m rather sympathetic with anyone, cancer or not, who has nerve pain. I have had nerve pain for 4 excrutiating months…I get sympathy because its cancer induced but the pain is the pain is the pain whatever the cause.
Jane
Hi JaneRA, Re nerve pain. I do not know what painkillers you are taking but I was given Gabapentin to try for my nerve pain which I found very very helpful. The doctor who recommended it to me had just come from working in Neurology. I am on other painkillers too. What are you taking for the pain at the moment? I have been getting treatment for Bone Mets for ten years now. If you want to send a private message please do if you want to know more about my experiences with pain. from Scottishlass with best wishes.
Thanks for all your comments. It makes me realise how good it is that we have each other. On the subject of other people a colleague at work yesterday asked me if i could recommend any good funeral songs!!
love to everyone
Angelina.x