Hi, my name is Devon and I am 19. I have a younger sister, 14, and we recently lost our mum after a 7 and a half year battle. I was just wondering whether anyone else was in the same situation and if they could offer any advice or words of wisdom?
Hi Devon - i’m so sorry you and your sister have lost your mum, i can imagine how hard that must be for you both. I bet your mum would be very proud that you’ve taken the step to look for advice and help. I know there are organisations who can help by offering support, unfortunately i don’t know who they are. Other ladies have definitely posted on here in the past with names and i know when they’ve seen your post they’ll respond to you. Meantime i’m sending you the biggest cuddle and remember to keep reaching out to people until you get some support to help you both through this really difficult time.
Lynn
x
Hi Devon,
am echoing what lynne has said & also perhaps if you ring the Bcc helpline they too may be able to help.
Another hug on its way to you.
Sarah.xxx
Hi Devon,
You’ve come to the right place for some support, as as others have suggested please do give the helpline here a ring and have a chat, they’re here to support you through this.
Calls to the helpline are free, 0808 800 6000, lines open Mon-Fri 9-5 and Sat 9-2.
Hope this helps. Take care of yourself and your sister,
Kind regards,
Jo, Facilitator
Hi Devon, so sorry to hear that your Mum has died, but as others have said well done for getting on here and looking around for help. I am middle aged but I’ve had a few times in my life where I’ve lived with grief and its a complicated thing - I found it really good to find someone to talk to outside the family. Also I spoke to an 84 year old neighbour whose wife had died of breast cancer a few months ago. he said he was working hard to achieve/learn to live with the grief being alongside him - he felt reassured that he was still feeling his grief, but he was also reassured that it wasn’t quite on top of him in the way it can be for the first few weeks and months…it was just an idea that resonated with me, so I pass it on and maybe its good for you too.
Very best wishes, Nicola
Hi there, I am so sorry you have lost your mum. Its good you and your sis have each other and you are looking out for her. I have a 12 year old son ( he is an only child ) and have been thinking about things from a mums point of view should he lose me. I was recommended an organisation called CRUSE Bereavement - its particulary for children and young adults (crusebereavementcare.org.uk) Hope this helps a little, very best wishes to you both. Love Debbie x
Hi Devon, You could also try contacting winstonswish.org.uk who deal with children who have suffered a bereavement. I’m so sorry you have had to deal with this but I’m sure your mum would be proud X
Hi Devon
I’m so sorry, you are both very young to lose your mum.
I’m 48, my mum died when I was 21 and I still think of her every day. I know one big worry might be that you’ll forget her, but I promise you, you won’t. Your feelings will change over time and you’ll find it easier to laugh, smile, remember the good times, remember the bad times too without feeling sad, and she’ll be with you whenever you think of her.
Another site aimed at teens is called something like riprap.org, try googling it and see what happens.
Welcome, and fond hugs from a mum.
CM
x
Hi Devon,
I’m also 19. My mum has not passed away due to cancer but is going through treatment.
I’m so sorry to hear about your sadness. I can’t even imagine losing my mum ever let alone at our age.
One thing that is helping me get through is that I’m currently planing myself a challenge (a skydive or bunjeejump) to raise money for the breast cancer awareness. It’s really helped me to think that I’m going to make a difference and help them try to find a cure for this horrible thing. It’s also given me the something to get up in the morning for.
It might be a good idea to do the challengr with your sister. It’ll bring you closer and help as you’re both going through the same thing so can be there for eachother.
You seem like a lovely caring person.
Sending you love x
Hi Devon,
I’m a mum of a 19 year old and a 13 year old and was told before Christmas that I have little time to live. As I expect your mum did, I live for each day and enjoy the pleasure each day has brought.
My children are always up at the top in my thoughts, as I’m sure they were with your mum, I hate the thought of leaving them but have planned (i expect ur mum did too ) to make life as easy as possible with me dying.
My heart goes out to you, I know its hard but the biggest gift you can give to your mum is to keep her memory alive but not to the detriment of YOUR life. She would want you to live,as you did before, have goals set and be with your friends, who I hope are a great support to you (I know my sons are )Look after your sister, she is at such an awkward age (I’m sure you remember it well) try and get her engaged in something positive, to focus on. My biggest worry is my 13 yr old, hormones rushing round etc, so lots of hugs are needed too, as I expect you both could do with.
Well done for posting on here, I hope to direct mine here also as the ladies have been so supportive and I’m sure they will take them under there wings…
Take good care of each other
Clare xxx
Hi Devon
Well done for finding your way here. What a terrible time you’ve had watching your Mum battle over the last seven years so lots & lots of hugs for you. Do give the helpline a call. It helps talking confidentially to someone outside the family circle as you can say exactly what you’re feeling without hurting anyone!
There’s lots of lovely ladies on here and even our own imaginary bench land where we rant & rave & cry & then laugh & feel better for a while do you’re very welcome to join us
Twinky x x
So very sorry you have lost your Mum, such a very difficult time for you both, please keep posting as sometimes it helps just to say things out loud, to be able to write down your feelings, someone will always answer you here. The helpline too, give them a phone, take care and lots of hugs to you xx