Hiiiii
Yessss!!! I have a new boob … it’s smashing it is … very comfy and nobody would ever know that I was a one boob lady ???
Gosh, just been trying to catch up with everybody
Jo and pam - you’re both nearly there … woo hoo!! xx
Susan - sorry to hear you are feeling a bit flat, I’ve had a few days just like that … hope you have something nice planned for weekend xx. Ooooooh nearly forgot, I’m going bra shopping on Sunday!! Exciting times ?
Emily - what are you doing for your birthday weekend? Happy birthday again xx
Lexxy - it’s nearly Monday!! I can’t wait for it to be Tuesday … haha xx
Strudel - have you stocked up on your required items for rads? Hope you are ok xx
Ali - I would love travelling to work by boat … that sounds like my idea of heaven … not dat in a car in traffic jams at 8.30 in the morning … can’t say I’m missing the travelling to and from work xx
Ali1961 My operation to remove lymph nodes will be on Monday morning. I was informed by my Bcn that my breast would be blue for a couple of months & when I told a friend she said I’d be a smurff! I liked her humour & think that’s 1 of the things which will get me through this. I got tearful this afternoon as it was my last day & there seemed to be a queue of staff wanting to hug me! Left work & went to Primark to buy 2 pretty scarves in prep for losing my hair once chemo starts in just over 2wks time
Lady Bowler I promise I will do something for myself but I need to change the beds before I have op on Mon. Being put to sleep scares me but I think I will just try & think of it as an extra rest that day xx
Can’t get back to sleep & once again I’m wakened before the birds! I’ve no trouble falling asleep. I wonder if this is going to be a regular wakening up in the wee small hours type of thing…My mind is buzzing with everything that is going on right now in my life. My mother suggested us going shopping together today. Told her to just go on her own as she likes to be out early & as I thought I’d probably need a lie in
Ladybowler, yes I was told about my wee being blue & also that I’d look grey for about 24 hrs!
Aaah Elizabeth … the 2 and 3am cups of tea … my hubby and I had a few weeks of being awake in the early hours … it seems so cruel that after we’ve thought of nothing else all day that we have to then not even get a full nights sleep … I’m over that now, and you will too … some sort of normality does come back …
However, I’m on the waiting game again and have an appointment on Monday that will give me my next form of treatment so the waking up anxious is with me again … I’m pretty sure that Mondays appointment has to be the last one of being given news … I bloody hope so …
Sallyann thank you for your reassurance. I have said to my mother & fiance that we have to find some sort of normality in all of this. I’m so glad there are others who understand. Heading out later on my own for a bit of retail therapy & fresh air to calm me. Sending you & everyone on here hugs xxx
I guess you had a good evening last night Emily? ??
Sarah - pictures of your boob please. I’m not getting a nice, proper mx bra with pockets until my seroma has gone down, as the boob isn’t exactly the one I need, so I am waiting. I love my boob, but it does make my seroma ache by the end of the day.
Elizabeth, the waiting is horrible, even after having surgeries on here, all of us have now been waiting for results and start dates.
I hope everyone has a good day today, we are having a BBQ and everyone is coming round. It is always so much fun when we all get together. (This is the BBQ we were supposed to have on the 4th Jan, but hubby was too ill)
Just popping in to say Happy Weekend to all you lovely ladies. It’s cold but sunny here and we’ve been completely lazy and about to venture out for some brunch.
Sarah, I so know what you mean, roll on Tuesday eh ? Hope you’re feeling OK hun, we’ll get through it together, whatever the results say xx
Good morning. I’m lying here in bed shaking & feeling sick about tomorrow mornings operation to remove 2 of the lymph (sentinel?) nodes for checking the cancer definitely isn’t in them. I went & did some shopping yesterday & getting out on my own helped to relax me. I bought a pair of jammys, a post operative soft bra & a large overnight bag. Came home & burst into tears as this anger of why had cancer chosen me & the fear hit me again. Chatted to a girl on the phone who i use to work with who had cancer & lost her hair. Chatting to her made me feel a lot better in myself. Will I see my Bcn every time I attend hospital? I will start chemo in 2 weeks time. Should I ask her this week about being referred for a whig appointment? I’m sorry my posting is so long. There is so much flying around my head & this is probably why I’m awake xx
So, yes ask about a wig fitting. It’s good timing, as with chemo stating in two weeks, you’ve probably got a month before you need it. The sentinel node biopsy sounds scary, but it’s not a huge operation, try not stress about that too much. The waiting for results is probably the worst bit. I’d suggest getting a firm date/appointment for that before the op. In terms of seeing your BCN, I haven’t seen mine at all apart from my first three visits (biopsy, diagnosis then follow up diagnosis). But practice varies hugely.
I’m really sorry you’re feeling so bad, and it’s perfectly understandable. There are lots of emotions people go through, fear, anger, resentment. Not everyone feels them all, but it’s entirely normal. It’s great that you talked to your ex-colleague, maybe you can keep in touch. If if it all becomes too much, maybe ask your BCN about access to some psychological support.
For what it’s worth, when I had some moments of thinking ‘why me’, it helped to turn it round. Why not me? It could have been my best friend, one of my sisters, the stranger next to me on the tube. Despite everything else, there’s a huge random element to this. It’s mostly just a bit of bad luck.
Ali1961 When 1st diagnosed the doctor said it was totally random & it’s shocking that in this day & age that there is no known reason why some people get cancer & others don’t. I did get back to sleep by cuddling up to my other halfs dressing gown. Have done a couple of housework chores & only thing left to do now is pack a bag in case I end up being kept in over night
Emily T the anyone I’ve spoken to has nothing but praise about the staff in the hospital I’m attending. Trying to think of tomorrow’s operation as just having an extra sleep in the morning.
Em - I completely understand both your feelings regarding telling your Nan, and your Mum’s feelings too. My parents are both in their mid 80’s and unfortunately my Mum has quite significant memory problems. My dad looks after her really well and I didn’t want to put him under too much additional stress. During all my tests I didn’t tell them anything, but did feel sad that I was unable to share it and get support from them. I told them just before my surgery that I was having an operation to remove a little lump from my breast - my dads first question took me back as he said is it benign or malignant. I was very honest and told him that they thought it was malignant but were positive it would be removed successfully. Unfortunately, my mum, who can’t remember what she has had to eat an hour after the meal, became very anxious about my health and took to ringing me several times a day to check I was ok - at this point I felt so guilty for causing her so much anguish. She had now calmed down, and yesterday asked if my tummy or shoulder was better. I explained to them both I was having radiotherapy just to ensure no stray cells were left and they seem to have accepted that with no worries.
I don’t think there is a right way or wrong way of telling people - I completely agree with you that it is so hard to be strong for others when you just want looking after. I cried every time I left my parents due to the trying to remain so positive in their company. I’m still over emotional about everything - had a break down this morning as I moaned ar my oh for throwing away the carrot peelings as I feed them to the rabbit - he then reminded that the rabbit had died in September - and I can’t even blame chemo for my lack of brain cells!
will be thinking of you, Sarah and Lexxy tomorrow for your appointments.
Good morning. Once again I am wakened early. Then again, my alarm is set to go off at around 5.15am. Taxi collecting me at 6.20 to take me to the hospital as they want me in by 7am. I’m feeling a bit nervous but trying to rationalise it by thinking that the drs are there to make me better & know what they are doing so why should I be fearful. Should be home by the afternoon but still taking an overnight bag just in case. Hugs to everyone & thank you so much for your support xx
Lexxy, Sarah & Emily - good luck with your results today - I will be thinking about you.
Sarah - your boob is magnificent. Isn’t it lovely looking down and seeing two boobs looking back at you.
Elizabeth - sending you big hugs and lots of good luck wishes for your operation today - see you later.
Strudel - I did need a hug - thank you.
Oh Jane - I don’t know how to comfort you with words, I wish I could come and hug you. I miss my Mum so much, she was my best friend and sometimes I just want to just curl up in a ball and let her look after me.
Emily - I understand your feelings with your Nan and I have thought about your post a lot and I have gone from thinking that you should tell her, to agreeing with your Mum, that she shouldn’t be worried. That is not very helpful to you whatsoever, but I don’t know your Nan. Do you think she would be o.k.?
I don’t think anyone but us ladies on here understand the significance of your results today - maybe that is a good thing, as then our loved ones aren’t as scared as we have been.
Ali - Did you have a good weekend?
Pam - it was lovely to hear from you. I didn’t realise you were fighting cancer again. Hugs to you.
Alex - you look fabulous, just after your operation - I don’t look that good when I’m going out!
Lovely weekend, Susan. You’re such a star keeping track of everyone for us x
So good luck, Emily, Lexxy, Sarah and Elizabeth.
It’s a a beautiful but freezing day in London, I’m planning hot chocolate and pretending to work. Hope everyone finds some happy moments, no matter what they are doing.
