overwhelmed with fear

Hi all,
Im 36 years old and was recently diagnosed with breast cancer stage 2 as it stands from the first biopsy. I say as it stand because its all i know anfim still going through tests… Ct scan and MRI to go… can the stage change the more tests you have if its picked up elsewhere??
so far i’ve had an ultrasound of my armpits and a mammogram which showed one lymphnode. I go back to hosiptal tomorrow for the result. Scarred again is an understatement.
The lady who done the ultrasound and biopsy of the node said it could just be reacting to whats going on is a possibility and the lump is small so ive caught it early, that gave me some reasurrance but im still fearing the worst.
I fear the results from my scans will show its spread, every ache pain and twinge i get means it has spread.
Im used to the cancer word now and try to think positive. But its hard.
I know i have it and its stage and size at the moment but when i think again of the further tests i panic again and think of all these other things.
I have 3 beautiful children and recently got married (before i knew i had bc) it was the day after my wedding i got the results.
words of wisdom help and comfort would be a great help right now.

Jo x

Hi Jo and welcome to the BCC forums where you will find support and shared experiences from your fellow users

Please also feel free to call our helpliners to talk through any queries or concerns on 0808 800 6000, lines are open 9-5 during the week and 10-2 Saturdays

Here’s a link to the younger women’s area of the site where you will find lots of information and further support ideas which I hope you will find helpful:


Take care
Lucy BCC

Hi Jo Poor you It’s a tough time and you’ve every right to feel in a state of panic. The only thing i would say is it will settle down and the early days are the worst. You will stop “googling” yourself silly and looking at your loved ones and wondering will you be there for them .The answer is of course you will ! When I had my pre op assessment the general surgeon I saw said my prognosis with having breadt cancer was better than if I had heart disease or kidney problems - which puts it into perspective really Take each day as it comes and you’ll get through this just fine xx

Thanks helenrose
it means and helps alot to know how people deal with these things.
You hit the nail on the head with the googling and that did make me chuckle as its been non stop and i cant help it!
ive got my results of a biopsy that was taken from a node that showed on my mammogram tomorrow. Im not looking forward to more bad news as im only just begining to get my head round the diagnosis.
Everytime i think of a future event or time the fear takes my breath away xx

Hi Jo
Know the feeling! I was diagnosed today with stage 2 on a 5mm growth found on a routine mammogram. I also need an mri as i have dense breast tissue & they need to be sure that nothing is hidden, then it’s the op & radiotherapy probably within the next month! Hope everything goes well for you tomorrow

Wise words sam and i will definately take it on board. I know for a fact now thats its not been a help or comfort. What has are the words of encouragement and positivity from the people on this site. Im glad ive found it and asked for help and advice from people who have this terrible illness the same as me.
Love to all xx

Thanks cazzie29
its taken me a week to actually come onto a cancer forum and discuss this with others going through similar process. It has helped tremendously. Hope all goes well with your treatment etc to. Will keep intouch xx

Hi all
Thanks maggie for the advice and relaxation meditation sounds bliss…where and how do i start? Ive not taken part in that before?
sam, i got my node result and it was clear, was reacting to whats going on and had swelled up. Got to have a sentinial biopsy is it aswell?
I also have a name for my unwanted visitor HER2 negative.(anyone else been diagnised with that?) Im 1 in 5 apparently and as i said to the doc i like to be different!
Chemo starts in 2 weeks for 6 months to shring the lump then surgery.
i feel a bit relieved that things are moving on and coming together. But need to control the panic attacks.
Love to you all xx

Aw girls, i had a total breakdown today.
I went for a chest xray…very anxious before the appointment…shaking, heart in my mouth, fast heavy breathing, even though xray/Ct scan are painless thing to have…after the xray was taken i just broke down. The nurses were lovely to me and sat me down for a bit to gather myself back together. Then i had to go for a CT scan. I Sat in waiting room staring at the walls in a mad daze the world flying past me…i was on my own because i thought i’ll be ok it doesnt hurt i can do this one on my own… them i was called into the CT room, i looked at the equipment and fell apart again. Burst into tears and shaking again.
laid on the table thinking this is where things could get worse or things could be ok as in the results.
I felt a bit relieved once they were done but im dreading the results.
i was walking out the hospital people walking past, it was like what you see in the movies. Im slow motion and theyre zoomimg past!
The meltdown again. I went to the macmillan center at my hospital and spoke to a lovely lady called Dorothy. She gave me some good advice and i did ferl better. Not had a meltdown since then. This evening has been abit more positive.

Thanks jayne
i was wondering wether or not to hear the scan results from my onco visit next week as my appointment today was rescheduled for next week now as not all the results are back. Maybe just go ahead with the treatment as the way im handling it isnt good or do i just need to get a grip?
Ive stopped the googling to and just stick to this forum.
Thanks and fantastic you have recovered.
jo x

Thank you all for taking time to reply and help me. I have wonferful support behind me, family and friends but it is always a comfort to speak to people going through it with me, and hearing from those who sre through it aswell. Such strong ladies and i hope to gain strength along the way to.
Thank you all & lots of hugs right back atcha xx