Hi, I’m 43 and I was diagnosed last week (6 days now) with invasive ductal carcinoma grade 2, HR+, HER2 negative. Lymph nodes looked clear in ultrasound. I would have thought the diagnosis was the worst part of the equation, however the amount of anxiety and worry I have that it’s spread, or going to before treatment is sending me into anxiety and worry and stress I never thought was possible. I am so worried that every ache (new or old) that I have is related to the diagnosis whether it’s the breast cancer came from “that” pain, or the cancer has spread to cause that pain. I don’t know how to mange this. It is the worst feeling I have ever felt in my entire life. Please help! I am completely deflated of any good feelings and am completely hopeless of relief. 
Hello @jkres , I’m not a nurse - the nurses will hopefully reply to you tomorrow . I just wanted to say it’s completely normal to feel how you do and I felt the exact same we way when first diagnosed the anxiety was completely overwhelming to the point I had palpitations and needed medication to help from the GP . It does get better - I promise you it will feel less overwhelming soon . Have you posted in the Recently diagnosed with breast cancer section of the forum if not maybe post there for some support from other forum users - we all understand how horrible it is - hope you feel better soon . Best wishes Jill
Hi, so sorry to read about your diagnosis and how you are feeling. It is a very stressful and anxious time. Macmillan and Maggies provide excellent support.
When I was diagnosed, a family member who had previously been treated for a different type of cancer, warned me that I would worry about the smallest ache and pain. I did and I still do. I will be 2 years post diagnosis in January. My last mammogram in April was clear. I will no doubt worry again when my next one is due.
The worst time is waiting for tests and results. Hopefully you will begin treatment soon. Be good to yourself. Have nice treats. Best wishes x
Thank you so much for taking the time to reply and giving me hope that I’m not alone in this awful time 
Hi. I’m the same age with same diagnosis and roughly the same time since my world was shattered as well. What you’re feeling is exactly the same as me-every little health niggle I’ve had recently I’m thinking is it spreading or that I’ve another cancer that’s spread. My health anxiety is through the roof and I’ve had a couple of epic meltdowns, so I’m sending tons of support your way that you aren’t alone. We shouldn’t be dealing with this, it’s unfair and I’ve had a lot of anger over the last week thinking why me-I’m fit, healthily, don’t smoke or drink much. I’ve reached out to someone who has been through treatment and she told me it’s natural, she was the same and not to deny feeling that way. I joined this forum so I could speak to others who had been through what my proposed treatment is, and also spoke to my nurse once the news had started to sunk in. It’s helping a little but it’s so so hard to process all this. Appreciate that’s a little low on constructive advice but just thought I’d reach out to reassure that others feel that way. None of us want to be part of this club and I think the anxiety and waiting game is be far and wide one of the worst parts.
Constructive advice or not, I am so thankful to have been able to read your message. We can navigate thru this horrifically awful time together. I read thru some of your other messages on a few other messages last night and added you to my prayer before bed. Thank you for the note and you also know you’re not alone in this. Best wishes to you in the coming months as treatment is underway
Thank you so much for your message. I will definitely head over to the “Newly Diagnosed” message board and read thru some of those messages. I’m so thankful to have found this forum and all you wonderful wonderful women.
Hi jkres
My heart goes out to you as I remember those feelings all too well. The time between diagnosis and surgery was for me the worst part of all of this by a mile. I couldn’t function, couldn’t work, was tearful, all that was on my mind was cancer and I thought life would never be the same again. I had considered myself someone quite robust and resilient and able to take anything in their stride, but, let’s be honest, this is scary stuff.
Things that helped during that time was a couple of sessions of MacMillan counselling which I really recommend. I also kept a daily journal where I could get all my feelings and worries out onto paper and try to process them. Although you may not feel like it, if you are able, I would absolutely recommend doing some form of exercise. This helped clear my head for brief periods and I am convinced has helped massively with a good recovery.
It’s frightening now, but I guarantee you will feel better when you have a treatment plan and know what is happening and when. I’m 46 and my diagnosis was similar to yours. Nine months on from diagnosis life is great and I rarely think about cancer other than to share my experience when I think it may offer some help or hope. It’s unimaginable right now, I know, but things do get better.
Any questions or you want to offload then just shout, there will be lots of people here to support you. Best of luck with everything. x
Hi @jkres I just wanted to say hello because I remember the overwhelming feeling of loneliness I felt at diagnosis (mine was in June so I’m a bit ahead of you) watching everyone get on with their lives. And I hope this wonderful forum will make you realise you are not alone. I’m 40 now, was 39 at diagnosis with Grade 3 IDC, Her2 -, ER+. The anxiety you are mentioning doesn’t really go away but you do get used to it & kind of train your mind to put it one side (sorry if that’s not helpful!).
For now I would say to focus on the positives - your lymph nodes look clear. That is great news, hold onto that. Have your team given you any indications of timescales as to what is next? I’m guessing you are going thro all the various tests & scans at the moment - it flies by & once you get your treatment plan you will feel much more in control. Whatever happens there will be a wealth of advice on here & people who’ve been thro it recently who can offer real world advice. Take some time off work if you need it, spend some time on yourself. You need to keep your body & mind strong, eat well, exercise if you can. Genuinely though that first couple of weeks when you are waiting to know what’s what is the absolute worse - you will be able to feel much stronger once you have your treatment plan.
Hi jkres,
Thanks for posting.
It’s completely understandable to be feeling overwhelmed with anxiety following your diagnosis of breast cancer. There’s no right or wrong way to feel, and you’ll probably go through many emotions, from fear, shock and anger to disbelief, sadness and numbness. Often the days and weeks immediately after a diagnosis can be particularly emotional and overwhelming.
As many of the supportive forum members have said, it’s very normal to be anxious about every ache or pain and worry about the cancer spreading. Many people start to feel a bit calmer or less anxious once they have been told about their treatment plan.
Some people find talking with another younger woman who’s been diagnosed with breast cancer helpful. Our Someone Like Me service can match you with a trained volunteer who’s had a similar experience to you. They’ll contact you by phone call or email to answer your questions, offer support or simply listen. You can ring the Someone Like Me team on 0800 138 6551 or email them at someone.likeme@breastcancernow.org so they can then match you to your volunteer.
We also offer support tailored specifically for younger women with primary breast cancer who are aged between 20-45 years. This includes our Younger Women Together events that are run face to face and online. This support offers the opportunity to meet and share experiences with other younger women and get expert information in a confidential space. More information can be found on the links above.
Do call our helpline if you would like to talk this through or have any further questions. The helpline team have time to listen, talk things through and signpost you to more support and information if necessary. Your call will be confidential, and the number is free from UK landlines and all mobile networks. The number is 0808 800 6000, If you have hearing or speech difficulties prefix our number with 18001 and the call will go through Relay UK. Our helpline has access to telephone interpreters if language translation is required.
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Best wishes
Katie
Breast Care Nurse
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