Paget's Disease - operation tomorrow

Hi everyone, well, I’m off into hospital this evening or the op tomorrow and am SOO worried about this one - no idea why, had enough of them…but for some reason this one (to me) is going to really mean that I have BC this time - although my boob hasn’t been “my own” for 5 years, it’s been there, but now lots of it is going to be chopped off and all that will be there will be the back muscle and gelsac if it doesn’t fall out. Very upset about this one - mad I know… with all that we all go through.

The spookiest thing too, I work to find a patch of blood on my jim-jam top where it’s obviously been bleeding in the night, that’s never happend, perhaps it knows it’s being chopped off???

I’ve had stomach cramps and upset tum for 3 days and really don’t feel in the mood for hispitals. Oh well, gotta be done. Let’s hope that’s it this time?

Funny - I seem to say that at lot…

x

Hi Lezignac2
Im just a few days behind you. I think my boob knows something is wrong too!
Im gonna miss it.

Take care.
X

I’m back home feeling very down about losing a lot more of my recon boob than I thought it was very upsetting when I saw it this morning for the change of dressing. Very sore and they had to use my right hand to get the needle in - left arm is now " outta veins" and I pleaded with them not to use it - but hey, what can you do?
So hope my lymphadeama doesn’t flare up now.
Hope you get on okay 1966ruby.
Thinking of you

Kx

Hi K
I am in on Monday now. Had a bit of a scare… but all is ok.
Petrified, but facing up to it, I think!

Lisa

Hi Lisa, how are you?
I’ve bitten the bullet and taken the dressing off - I can’t tell you how upset this had made me!! madness in the grand scheme of things. But it’s sooo ugly and bashed about now - but I know it will settle down, but no nipple/area/much at all really…and I’ve got a swollen armpit so where it’s rubbing, and it’s now hot here, I’ve got a wonderful red rash.

Some days I could really just lay down and cry and scream. But then, where would that get me???

Hope your op was okay and things are looking up for you.

Same to everyone out there too.

K x

Hi Lisa

People keep asking me if I’d had the choice would I have chosen chemo or mastectomy - what a ridiculous question as we are all different.Some poor souls have to have both. Well, I didn’t have the choice so all I know is I hate how I look and was determined to have the reconstruction. I am finally having that in 3 weeks time. If, in 5 years time I have to go through what you are going through I am sure I would be angry too and I would be kicking and screaming and letting the whole world know how angry I am.

You are entitled to be angry - the LD flap op is not like having a tooth out is it? To go through all that and then it be taken away is just not fair.

Still, after you have finished being angry and sad, see if they can offer you any other form of recon.

I am amazed you had the energy to be on line so you must have some fight left in you.

The best of luck to you - I certainly have some food for thought for my LD flap op now.

Karen xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

sorry I meant K Lezignac2 not Lisa - I am tired and obviously losing my mind.

Hi K
I know exactly how you feel. I came home yesterday afternoon, and cried non-stop.
I have been in quite a lot of pain - nery pains, like nipple pains - fantom boob pains, extending a few inches in front of me. I havent had one today, so hope that it has just been the drains causing it.

I havent looked directly at the scaring yet. I am just about to go in the shower, and intend to get dressed before, I have to look in the mirror to do my hair. I cant look. I have looked down towards it, and it doesnt look nice. I am not even flat - it goes in. I have lost so much weight, that my existing boob is looking so forlorn also - and much smaller.

I guess we are in mourning. The post op swelling is there, and a general soreness. Lets try to stay strong together.
Have you heard about the ‘How to look good naked’ next week - a lady who has had a mastectomy… I am going to tape it, but may not pluck up the courage to watch it.
Its maybe a little too close to home at the moment
Lisa XX

Humbug, I am so please for you that you are looking forward to your recon. Let me know how it goes.
I just hope that I am as lucky as you. Lisa X

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Hi, thanks one and all and good luck with everything. I didn’t know about the TV prog, will check out when it’s on and get someone in UK to video it for me.

I’ve seen implants (of sorts) on a web site with nipples, so I think I’m going to order one and see what that’s like - cannot fface any more operations.

I have a long way to go to get back to my “fighting” weight - having put on nearly 4 stone with chemo and Tamox and now Arimidex. That doesn’t help me either. I have lost about 2, but it’s just not me being this size. Once I am healed I will get back into my trainers - I love jogging/running - when I have the energy - and it helps me to get rid of pent up emotions without taking it out on himindoors or the animals…!

Will keep you posted on my purchases.

Take care everyone Kx

I hope you are as lucky as me too Lisa

K - Let me know when you take up the running again - I can’t wait to get back into that too - we’ll run together in spirit hee hee

Take care both of you and thanks for the support - getting nervous now and having second thoughts.

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Humbug

4th June isnt it - I know! I havent forgotten.
I will definitely be thinking about you and your fab new figure!

Lisa

Thankyou thankyou thankyou! you are so kind hope you are well xxxPre op tomorrowI am really changing my mind now.

Hi Humnug
Dont you dare! Im waiting to hear back from you so that I will have one also!
I am quitre envious actually!

Good luck!
Lisa

Hi Lisa

I have been for my pre-op today and feel a lot better now so don’t worry. Went to the drop in clinic as well and was quite a laugh actually and laughter is the best medicine or so they say.

I downloaded “how to look good naked” after everyone told me to watch it. Well, cried through most of it and then laughed when Gok put her in a very low cut swimming costume - believe me that does not work when you are actually swimming I have tried. I bought a fantastic halterneck swimming costume that goes straight across at the front and got my seamstress friend to put a pocket in and wow that worked. It was good though she did look good and how she said she felt mirrored me exactly.

Karen
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I am on a high today cos I am one step closer to getting my new boob yippee!!!

Hi Karen
I am so jealous! When I first looked at my mast scar, I thought, ‘MMmmm, looks like I have a cleavage still’. But now the scaring is starting to settle, I can see that I wont have.
I went shopping on Monday with Kelly in mind. Tried on a few bikinis - became dishearted, but havent totally written it off.
If I dont need chemo, then I intend to go to a friends wedding in September in Brisbane, and we would go diving at the barrier reef… of course, I would need a nice biknii and swimsuit.
I am sure a wetsuit would hold my prosthesis in place!! I dont think I would be able to have a recon in time!

Just keep imagining that cleavage!

Lisa
X

Oh Lisa I am sure you will be able to get a swimsuit - just keep looking around. I bought a soft prosthesis for swimming for about £22 and it was amazing - it is weighted so keeps in place - I go swimming quite often. My halter neck was one I found in Debenhams.

Actually, I read somewhere that Kelly’s swimming costume cost £125 so no wonder it stayed in place - I’d want it to swim for me as well for that price. Her bikini she wore she says she did not enter the water in it and it was taped in place so maybe that wouldn’t be the best for diving. The main thing is you need to feel comfortable. I am jealous too. You are going to Brisbane wow.

Yes cleavage cleavage - I have waited over 9 monhs for this fabulous moment.

Karen

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Hi Karen

I have actually found quite a nice bikini for mastectomy from Ls Radoute. But will wait to see how it fits when it arrives.
Looks ok in the pictures.
I think a halter neck would work - that’s what I was looking for actually. The one I have ordered goes straight across with thin straps, available in in raspberry and white and black and white.

laredoute.co.uk/style/Special-bikini-for-after-a-mastectomy.aspx?ProductId=324084732&DocumentId=210008&CompanyId=R&source=4

Im a 34D though, I hope it works.

Lisa

Hi Lisa
nice choice and a good price too you will look HOT!

Kx