Hello everybody!!
Its been a while since on here last! I had bc when was just 22…and its my 26th birthday tomorrow!! I havnt been on here for sometime, however im having a bad day and nobody i know really likes to here these days as im supposed to have forgotten!
i just wanted to say that i feel really low and down and im sick to the back teeth if this paranoia that never goes away! (although its got alot better over the years)! Im in my 4th cancer free year but every year that goes by i feel that its getting worse and i really don’t know what to do about it!! Im on tamoxifen and that will be over in 2013 and that is scaring me, as i don’t know what im gona be like when/if that finishes. i am in love and very happy with the most amazing man and it petrifies me that its gona come back and i will leave him… Im sick of every ache or pain in my body as i think its the cancer back! I know im very lucky to be alive and be in my 4th year of being cancer free but i am so so scared still and im sick if living in fear!! If there are any tips out there for me to get over this it would be greatly appreciated!!
Many thanks and i hope your all keeping well
Emily Xx
Hi Emily its hard for family & friends they think as time goes on we just move on & forget ! I think the ‘fear’ stays with us all & as each anniversary comes round it brings it all back to us.
You could ring the helpline & maybe some councelling might help you ?
Happy birthday for tomorrow its mine too tomorrow (great day) 
thats lovely that you are happy with your OH & he has probably given you alot of strength to get through the past months years I know I too will be on edge with every pain wondering I think thats natural too & they are possibly things that were niggling us before & we never gave a second thought about before we were diagnosed
Wishing you all the best keep posting I find talking to others helps no end
Mekala x
congratulations on your 4 years, and yes im sure we will all be the same. I will finish Herceptin feb next year and i often wonder how i will feel. Best wishes to you.
dear Mairead, I do as many things as I can to help heal my body. So eating well, exercising, keeping stress levels down and listening to my body. I find that when I get anxious I listen to relaxation tapes and it really helps to calm me. Also I would suggest counselling to talk out all those worries and how to cope with life after cancer. It is such a big thing to work through a cancer dx and I decided that I did not want to spend the rest of my days worrying about cancer coming back.
I think we have to begin to trust our bodies again,and that means doing all the things I’ve talked about above.I also do qigong and Tai Chi and that really helps with stress levels. It isn’t easy to move on but the more you do of these things the easier it gets
Best wishes
You are completely normal to worry, it stays with you forever but here are my mantras:
- Share things here without reserve, especially when you are down, that is the strength of the forums here
- Don’t google any thing
- Keep to safe threads.
- One day at a time
- Don’t borrow tomorrow’s sorrow
Take care of your self, all the best
Maria xx
It isn’t paranoia, you’re completely normal, but only people who have had this disease can really understand. Never mind the “why aren’t you over it yet?” comments, or even the quizzical looks, come and share with us.
Lots of good things said already. You might want to do ONE bit of googling: look for “Dr Peter Harvey” and “Cancer” and “Counselling” to find a brilliant article that talks about dealing with it all after active treatment finishes. It’s extremely well-written, and he really “gets it” with the ongoing worries.
I hope you have a very happy birthday tomorrow, and that you and your lovely man can have a truly happy day.
CM
x
Emily I think your feelings are very undertandable. I have got one more herceptin to go and I am feeling scared of finishing that, and even though I have got 4+ years of tamox to go I sometimes feel a bit scared of finishing that too. So I understand a bit how you feel.
I have just got a book called the cancer survivor’s companion by Dr. Frances Goodhart and Lucy Atkins. I got it off amazon, it was £8 odd. It says it addresses how people think they should feel really happy when they finish treatment but instead they often feel scared and depressed. I haven’t read it yet but it does look good. It might have some coping tips in it.
Happy birthday for tomorrow! Hope you manage to have a good day xxx
Edit: posted at the same time as ChoccieMuffin. I have read the Peter Harvey article too and it is excellent xxx
Thank you everybody…i had an extremely bad day yesterday!! I will definitely take all of your advice on board abduction hopefully put my mind at rest!! Thanks for the birthday wishes too! Xxx
Hi,
Hope you had a good birthday.
Link below to Peter Harvey lecture, I’d also recommend the cancer survivour’s companion book mentioned.
cancercounselling.org.uk/northsouth/extra4.nsf/WebResClient/1761049276601BD68025735B00604834/FILE/article3.pdf?openElement
I was triple negative and finished treatment about 4 weeks ago. I am not on Herceptin or Tamoxifen or anything and they don’t want to see me until November, I sometimes feel like I have been left in freefall. The book summarises the feeling quite well. I think some level of anxiety is normal, but it shouldn’t overwhelm you.
(And a good rant on here is always a good way to de-stress.)
Jen