Hi all,
I feel really pathetic for making this post considering what a lot of you are actually going through but, as I’m normally the “strong” one of the entire extended family, I don’t feel I’ve got anybody I can talk to about this.
I’ve had a couple of breast lumps in the past (approx. 14 & 12 yrs ago) and they, thankfully, turned out to be nothing. Then, 10 yrs ago, I had cervical cancer which I think has made me overly paranoid!
Anyway, on to now. I recently noticed in the mirror that the outline of one of my breasts didn’t look quite as rounded as the other and on a closer look found a dent in the underside of my right breast. It didn’t really bother me so left it a few weeks until I had to go to the doctors about something else. He checked it out and felt some dodgy nodes or something and sent a referral to the breast clinic. When I got home I took a photo of the underside of my breast (they’re old and saggy so it’s hard to see what’s happening by just looking at them lol) and found that I actually have two dents rather than one.
I was fine and rational until I saw my doctor but since then (Tuesday evening) I’ve gone to pieces. I’m a 38 yr old lone parent of two children with special needs and I just keep imagining the worse at the moment and crying as soon as the kids are in bed. I just keep thinking of the worse case scenario and thinking if it does happen that not only will my kids lose their only parent but they’ll lose their pet dogs and the roof over their heads too.
Reading that back, I’m actually telling myself I’m bonkers! I’ve got an appointment for the breast clinic on the 7th Feb. so will know then whether I’m actually, truly bonkers.
Sorry for rambling and thank you if you managed to read it all, feel better for getting some of it out where people understand x