Partner
Partner Hi (please excuse my spellings)
My partner is 25 and we found a lump about 3 weeks ago, visited our gp who refered her to a specialist and had a mamogram and we are currently waiting for her to have a biopsy on Monday. As you can imagine we are both really anxious and nervous about the whole situation.
Id just like to know as her partner what i can do to support her as i want to be there for her 100%. I also am not sure what happens next.
god bless
support Dear Little
it is difficult to know what to do if you are trying to help someone going through a very anxious time. My advice would be to listen and take cues from your partner. Sometimes just being there is enough. Even sometimes being there to absorb anger, upset etc is important too even though you may not know it at the time. I asked friends to take notes of consultations too as when you are told things it often goes in one ear and out the other. Doctors also use technical terms which most of the time I didn’t understand e.g. core biopsy is one of the tests, I’d only heard of cone biopsy and couldn’t understand why they needed to take a sample of my cervix for breast cancer.
I went on my own to virtually every appointment including the one where they told me I had breast cancer and I wouldn’t advise that course of action.
Yes, partners can really be a help
Mole
Hi I think that all you can do is just be there for her. I had a lump and it turned out benign but at your stage we were told that if could be 75% malignant so I know what you are going through. My partner was very strong at first, so strong in fact that I thought I must have been mad to be so worried, until we talked, I then found out that he was just as worried as me.
Dont avoid the subject and cry with her when you want to, I felt the need to talk about it sometimes but stopped myself because I felt I was overreacting, which was wrong because he felt the same as me and thought he should be stronger to support me.
Good Luck with your results we will be thinking of you.
Yvonne x
it sounds to me as if you are already being a great support to your partner.there is no set way just carry on showing you are there for her.as previously said just being there is a huge support words dont matter so much.Hopefully you will have good news and can carry on with life.will be thinking of you on monday
sharon x
For Little1 Hi Little1
Welcome to the forums where I am sure both yourself and your partner will get lots of help and advice from the many users of this site who have a wealth of knowledge and understanding.
You may also like to take a look at BCC’s publication called ‘In it together’ you can either download this or order on line by following the link:
breastcancercare.org.uk/docs/inittogether_web_0.pdf
The BCC freefone helpline is also available not just for those with a diagnosis of breast cancer but for those also connected with people affected by this. The number to call is 0808 800 6000, the lines being open Monday to Friday 9am - 5pm, Saturdays 9am - 2pm.
I hope this is of help to you both.
Kind regards
BCC Host
thank you for all your replys, it makes me feel a little more confident about supporting her. I just wish there was more i could do i wish i could take it away.
It was very akward when we went to the consultant he looked at me strange i take it they dont see many homosexual couples.
Today was a strange day she was very subdued but putting on a brave face.
Is ther anything i can expect at the biopsy? i was asked if id like to be there when they do it is this something you feel would be beneficial to me and her?
Thanks again i really apreciate the support