Pendulum of ok to not ok (indent / dimple found)

[macca77]

Before joining this forum I have read through so many posts and can honestly say it has been really informative and supportive.

I’ve never been in this situation before. I naively thought we were one of those families that were immune to cancer. I know this sounds silly but we have been very fortunate and not had to deal with cancer in our immediate family …….. until a few weeks ago where I found quite a significant a dimple / indent in my breast. I’ve no lump. I’ve been to my gp and been referred urgently to breast clinic. My appointment is soon.

It is weird how live goes on yet all of a sudden everything becomes so precious including the mundane everyday tasks that I grumbled about.

I’ve never posted on a forum and I guess I’m keen to post and share my experience and fears with a safe group.

This has come completely out of the blue and I’m hoping it is ok but I’ll just have to wait and see. The not knowing is hard because I am catastrophising when I may not need to.

Everything seems to be affected at this stage in my mind - diet, exercise, summer holiday, kid’s important exams, new job, money, hubby’s big birthday, telling family and friends, do I need to start batch cooking incase I’ve to have surgery or treatment, how do I prepare, is it cancer, if I’ve cancer - has it spread. I’m all over the place.

For me it is a pendulum where I swing from I’ll be fine (……sure it wont happen to me) to will I be here at Christmas? Doesn’t that sound crazy but that is where I am at.

Thanks for reading

[felineoptimist]

Hey. Glad you found somewhere to come and unload. It’s a worrying time waiting to find out what’s wrong. I’m on the other side of that process now, having been recently diagnosed with invasive lobular carcinoma on the right side, and follow up MRI showing lesions on the left that need biopsy. I too have no family history, husbands big birthday coming up, recently started a new secondment at work, so it feels like a real shit joke by the universe. But I started chemo yesterday and I’m in the right place, even if it’s not the place I wanted to be.

Things I found useful in the interim period were talking to people in my real life about what was happening. It’s easy to keep it to yourself thinking it might be nothing, but in the end being open with a few close people helped when we got the diagnosis and gave me an immediate support network. You might find this helpful. The other thing to remember is that you don’t know anything yet, and the instinct to get ready is huge but in the end could be misplaced energy. Once you know what you’re dealing with, you can make practical plans. For now, try to care for yourself.

[Tigress]

Hi @macca77 welcome to the forum, whatever your experiences, you will find support here. Unfortunately for you, you are in that initial phase of panic/bewilderment which virtually everyone goes through at the beginning and which quickly leads on to catastrophising. Now the facts are that only 20-30% of biopsies turn out to be breast cancer as there 9-10 benign things that can be in play. If it does turn out to be BC, 65% of women do NOT have to have chemotherapy (so maybe the batch cooking can be put on hold ) and survival rate is at a spectacular all time high. We all think that the thing is spreading through our body at the rate of knots but it is highly unlikely to be. I know that the head is in a losing battle with the heart until you’ve been through the tests and have the results so try to get a mantra or a distraction process or something that will quell the panic until you’ve actually know, because it is likely that that won’t be for a few weeks. Probably best not to Google because there’s a lot of stuff on there which just won’t apply to you and is probably out of date anyway. If you must research (I was one who HAD to), stick to the Breast Cancer Now, MacMillan, NHS and Cancer Research sites. Definitely one thing you should do in preparation, just in case you end up going through active treatment, is eat well, get as fit as you can, lay off the booze and get as much sleep as is possible (yeah, I know). The fitter you are, the better you’ll be able to cope with treatment should you have to have it. In the meantime, keep posting here as we really do understand.