Hi Kartoffel,
D’ont focus on other peoples reactions. Instead, focus on yourself, your needs and feelings. You don’t have to explain anything to anyone if you don’t want to. Sending courage and strength to get through it all.
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Easier said then done… I’m not worried about their reactions or giving them any input in my decision but I find it really flipping annoying when they act like this is THE WORST THING IN THE WORLD. My husband has had to go through 4 open heart surgeries and is waiting on a 5th. We had our house burn down last year and both lost our jobs (among other things) My perspective is probably warped, but for me this is a minor surgery… 
I want to tell people but I can’t deal with their drama…
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I felt exactly the same as you! I elected to have a mastectomy and thank goodness I did as I was riddled with DCIS as well as my cancer in that breast. My mastectomy was 20 May and I had reconstruction at the same time. I also wasn’t overly attached to my boob. To be honest I decided to own my cancer, accept it, not be angry with it and just told people that I was ready for it to leave my body now. Yes some were horrified I elected to have it and not have an MRI lead biopsy on a second lump they had found. Slowly but surely people accepted my positivity towards it and fed off me. Hopefully people will do the same with you. We are all different but I can 100% relate to your attitude and it’s inspiring, so don’t worry how other people react, it’s your cancer and your body, not theirs. I did as I was told recovery wise and found it fine. Getting used to the implant has taken a while but mastectomy itself I was okay with and haven’t missed my boob or the cancer so far. Best of luck with your op lovely and keep spreading that positive approach to mastectomy. Xx
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Hi @sissy1
I hope everything is going well.
Thank you for sharing this is very useful. The mastectomy bra offering is not great so great to hear you can wear ‘regular’ underwires.
So much to think about!
Take care,
Marion
Hey girls, whatever decision you take - re-construction, staying a “unicorn” or going completely flat - it must feel good for YOU. YOU live in your body. People around you often react strange, because they are feeling unsure and don’t know what to say and to do… we should have compassion for them, not the other way round 
What really feels strange to me is that in hospitals/at the doctors you don’t get much information about living with one breast. Not before the mastectomy, not after. Or did anyone out there receive that? I am interested in your experiences. I had an unilateral mastectomy 7 years ago and I am just happy and proud that I survived! (Imagine it would have been my arm or leg, learning to walk again, learning to paint again etc!) You can try to ignore comments of others which pull you down, or you can start a conversation with them, explain what you feel and why you make this or that choice. A re-construction also has risks, sometimes you need to have a surgery on your second breast as well, to give it the same shape and size of the re-constructed one. It is a choice, and I don’t want to say that the one is better than the other, but it’s good to take these things into account when making your decision, or when informing other about your choice. Wishing you all to be supported in what you think is good for YOU.
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For the (future) uni-boobers out there I have two recommendations: First one - I started up a non-profit organization last year, AMA WEAR Spolek (I am Czech based, Spolek means Foundation). It is born from my own story, I had a unilateral mastectomy and difficulties with feeling beautiful in standard clothes, as I don’t like to wear my breast prosthesis all the time. I am collaborating with fashion designers who make fashion for people with one breast who don’t want to wear a breast prosthesis. The final product is the sewing pattern, which we offer free of charge on our website 
You can sew the garment yourself, or visit a seamstress, your bestie, the nephew of your colleague… someone who can sew for you Because we went through enough unpleasant moments, and because I am grateful to be alive, this is a gift to make us feel happy, confident and beautiful. Have a look at ama-wear.com and feel free to give me your valuable feedback. Second is my UK based friend who has the same story as me, but started a label for swimwear and underwear for people with one breast. I love to wear her bra, in which I also swim: eno.eco. 7 years ago I would have been so happy to know about these kind of brands and initiatives, so I hope I can help you by sharing this with you. Take care everyone! 
Barbara
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Hi @sissy1
Please can you share what you use to anchor your prosthesis in a standard bra? My hospital will sew in a couple of overlapping flaps for free but they mess with the shape of the bra and tend to misshape after a few washes. I’ve bought M&S pockets but they aren’t a very good shape (for me!) and I find the prosthesis can ride up a bit to the centre top of my bra - almost like the cup is too small.
Thank you x
Hi Gelbel,
I have found that if I choose a full-cup underwires bra that fits me really well, the prosthesis stays in fine without any additional anchoring. I am quite a big cup size (G) and I have found that wearing a full cup by Fantasie (bought in John Lewis) works really well for me - the prosthesis stats in place. I did Nate sure the fit was good and that the bit between (what would have been) boobs sits close against the chest wall so there is no ‘sideways stray’ and the cup size is spot on. Bravissimo also offered to measure me up and said that they support a lot of mastectomy ladies who find they can just use a full-cup bra with no additional tapes or anchoring - so it might be worth trying some different full-cup styles and seeing how they feel? I realise that not everyone will feel they can wear an underwire (e.g. due to tenderness etc) but I have been wearing standard bras from about 3 years post-surgery with no problem. I hope this helps - let me know how you get on!
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I had DCIS level 3, had a lumpectomy and we then found out I have BRCA2 mutation and some invasive cancer. I have opted to avoid radiation and will have a double mastectomy to reduce chances of recurrence. Some people who have not had any BC think I’m nuts and see it as an elective surgery- sure it’s elective because I want to get on with my life and not be sitting here just waiting for it to come back. So now I say to people: well, I was given a choice and I chose life with life saving boobs (aka implants). Usually works to chill people out. They then think I’m having plastic surgery like augmentation and sometimes I just let them think it’s the same 
. I do tell them I am lucky, very lucky… it was caught early and so on. I fully understand about the « people thinking you are dying » had cancer before and it was the same… hence I choose carefully who I tell so that I don’t have to handle their neurosis. Good luck with the surgery!!!
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I think @kartoffel it reflects how differently we all feel about our bodies and people are projecting on you how they think they’d feel. I think it’s ok to say, “I recognise/ sense you feel very anxious/ scared/ negative about mastectomy however I feel acceptance/ content/ grateful”. I hope your surgery goes really well.
Personally, I’m finding reactions are mixed. I’m very attached to my breasts and I’ve experienced some amazing empathy from people who recognise the anxiety/ fear I’m feeling. However some people’s reactions to BC generally and mastectomy have been difficult with my two biggest bugbears being:
“BC treatments have improved so much” from people who’ve read about the latest discoveries in the newspaper yet never had first or close family hand experience of BC. I know they are really reassuring themselves however it makes me feel like I’m making a fuss at being scared about the uncertainties, the side effects and my future. It’s brilliant there have been breakthroughs and I’m hugely grateful for the treatments however it doesn’t mean these treatments are easy to endure.
“You’ll look fine in clothes” which infers how I look to the outside world is the most important thing. It isn’t to me. Number one priority for me is to feel comfortable looking at myself in the mirror so that I feel body confident.
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I’m in a similar situation to you @asmillard so thinking of you. I also feel lucky things were found early whilst at the same time feeling unlucky this has ever happened to me. TBH as reasonable as I am, I think I’d blow someone out of the water if they inferred this or ovary removal are elective. After sitting for weeks wondering if the my second cancer diagnosis is in my lymph nodes (v grateful it wasn’t) and having to have two lumpectomies, I want to give myself the best chance of never going through this again with potentially worse outcomes. Hope things go well for you in future 
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100 % with you. I don’t wish cancer on anyone, calling it elective is such a sign of ignorance I have no words. It’s like last week when someone said to me: but it’s great you get to choose your boob size. First, no you don’t. Second, who the hell would go through multiple surgeries, one major, send their body on a hormonal whirlwind to choose boob size? Ha ha ha… I think some people can’t cope at all. The only options available to them are: a) you are dead or close b) it’s nothing. Sad really, that as common as BC is most people are so ignorant. I too admit l have 0 knowledge before it was at my door.
Thinking of you!! @rainbowcat hope you are recovering well!!!
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I like your phrasing… think I’ll have to steal that one!
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Thank you, thank you, thank you @sissy1 
I had a look around and decided to buy a bra from a brand on Amazon that I discovered just months before I was diagnosed. Typical, you find your forever brand with a few designs that you love and you lose a boob! I found I still had one that I’d had a pocket put in, a size too big in the band and cup but a dummy run after cutting the cup out went well.
I’ve just had the new one, right size, delivered. OMG how brilliant! It looks amazing. Prosthetic 100% in the right place. Much more comfortable. And very important, robust! Going to buy a few more now.
Thanks so much for sharing.
AnGELa xx
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@Gelbel I’m SO PLEASED for you!! I’m really happy you’ve found a brand you love that still works for you. It makes such a difference to how you feel, doesn’t it? I’ve not looked back since finding that standard full cup bras work for me. I had to wear one of my old mastectomy bras the other day (didn’t keep up with the washing!) and reconfirmed that using main-stream bras are definitely the way for me. Take care, lots of luck and love xx
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Have a try of Wacoal lace halo bra - game changer
Keeps prosthetic in place I only wish they did it with a smoother finish to wear under closer fitting tops.
I’m a 32F and struggle to find decent bras.
I’m in the same boat here , left breast full of DCIS and some invasive , recommended mastectomy but straight off my consultant is pushing me for reconstruction , they only offer implant reconstruction and I’m really not sure I want it because if the risks associated with implants and the failure rate - plus it’s going to look ridiculous next to my remaining 42 E boob which is heading south !
They’ve insisted I meet with the plastic surgeon to discuss , husband keeps saying I’ll regret not having an implant and family are pushing me for it , I’m 52 , I don’t really care. I know I’ll be upset with my new shape but I’m not convinced I’ll be thrilled with an implant either
@arty1 You can only do what’s right for you. The hospital I’m at have a breast care nurse who specialises in reconstruction and I was dreading what an implant may look like as I was a bigger cup size and hadn’t liked some of the examples I saw on the big cancer charity’s websites. However, the specialist nurse when she met me had picked out examples from their past surgeries of people who were my age group, my build and cup size, etc. And they were MUCH better examples that gave me much more confidence and she gave me specific stats on the brand of implants they use.
You might still decide it’s not for you however it’s worth asking to see examples of their work and asking questions so you know you have all the information you need (e.g what are the pros/ cons of immediate v delayed reconstructions if you changed your mind? what are the latest stats on the risks and failure rate of the specific implants they use at that hospital? could you have any future surgery to correct differences in size if necessary or have your implant removed if you really don’t like it?).
Best of luck xx
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Hi
Have you been to a show and tell event to research Diep etc reconstruction options. It was so helpful