Pity party

I just wanted to tell someone who might understand
I had tnbc 10 years ago. Had lumpectomy chemo and rads
I booked a cruise with a friend for this coming June
November 2023 new b cancer or possibly recurrence same breast but oestrogen pos so told my friend cruise will depend on my treatment
Mastectomy and letrozole so still hopeful for the cruise
Since then I’ve had heart palpitations and needed ecg and monitoring but all ok
Iv also been diagnosed with basal cell carcinoma on my face
Then a few weeks back I started to have what i can only be described ad funny turns, unsteady, off sensations down one side nausea
So my gp has referred me to a neurologist to exclude epilepsy
So long story short I’ve had to tell my friend we have to cancel our cruise
She has been ok but says that due to my health needs she doesn’t feel she could arrange another holiday with me
Im 70 this year and feeling my health and much looked forward to cruise are all going and Im feeling so upset
The cruise people won’t change the dates for our holiday and getting insurance money etc back is exhausting
Im worried about these funny turns which do seem to have lessened
My partner died some years ago and Im feeling so alone and upset
Sorry to ramble on
Sue x


I’m sorry you’ve had to cancel your cruise :heart: and that your friend doesn’t want to go at a different time. Sending you hugs and thoughts xx I hope you can rebook a different adventure with a different friend xx


I’m not surprised it’s all making you feel alone when your friend obviously doesn’t see how her words are upsetting. But being unwell abroad is a frightening experience (my good friend has just had to come back early from a cruise) and if I were you I wouldn’t risk it for this summer at least! Can you plan a break in this country? With a friend or perhaps as a really nice ‘spoil-yourself’ weekend at a spa? You can often get cancelable breaks - so that you can relax about only going when you feel well enough. Something to look forward to?
Good luck!


Thanks for your kind words dumbledore :smiling_face_with_three_hearts:

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Thanks Geeps, your words are so wise
I have re read your reply a number of times and feel reassured
I will look to perhaps having a break in the UK later
Thanks again x


Im so sorry you had to cancel your holiday x
I was diagnosed in November 2023 with triple neg breast cancer and I took feel it’s now going to blight the rest of my life .
I’m lucky enough to have an amazing husband, but we were also just getting into cruising, city breaks etc.
I was able to roll our May cruise forward by 1 year at no cost by sending the cruise company a copy of one of my summary of treatment letter’s, showing how long, surgery, chemo and radiotherapy was going to take.
I suspect our mind set will improve bits it’s tough. I was looking forward to a happy, healthy, active older age and now have this crap to deal with instead. I also feel desperately sad for my husband who has to put up with me going through treatment plus putting his holiday etc plans on hold.


Yes Vibby this b cancer is so unpredictable
Wishing you well and hopefully we can both enjoy a cruise next year x

Sometimes home can feel boring and even repressive but when you feel unwell it’s the only place you want to be!! You may be lucky and get good medical help abroad ( depending on where you are! :scream:) But then there’s the travelling home which is horrible when you feel s…t!
Sometimes even when we’ve been fine on holiday (except we never sleep properly away) my husband and I feel grateful to get back home to get much-needed sleep, even after having looked forward to getting away! :crazy_face: A friend asked if I was refreshed after a break in Scotland - I said no, I’m knackered!!
I hope you have a more refreshing break somewhere!

It sounds horrid and I agree with @Geeps - sound advice. Be kind to yourself. Plan some lovely things this summer in this country - I have just had surgery and had to isolate for 5 weeks to ensure I didn’t contract Covid. We were due on holiday with 6 friends the week I had surgery :crazy_face:. Yes insurance is a pain and thankfully hubby did the paperwork but it’s still a nuisance. We booked a last minute trip to Isle of Wight on the ferry - went in the car and stood on deck in the wind and rain like two mad people and rented a small apartment - took our own food! It was an adventure! Weather was shocking but we went walking and just to do something different for a few days was good! Be kind to yourself - book some regular pamper stuff and do what you can - take care and send you best wishes. x

Thanks for your thoughtful message collywobbles
I will book a reflexology session i think
And look at places nearby until i get my consultant appointment and a diagnosis xx


Just a thought…I tried to book an alternative therapy session after diagnosis (something like aromatherapy or something - not really hands-on stuff!) and when I said why I wanted it, the lady said Oh I can’t treat cancer patients - my insurance won’t allow it!!
I said that after surgery I wouldn’t technically BE a cancer patient any more because the surgery would remove it - other treatment would be merely precautionary! She was very sympathetic but not sure until she’d checked with her insurance!
The time I really needed some TLC pamper treatment, I was denied it - it seems counter/intuitive and I felt so cross - I’d fallen into a one-size-fits-all ‘cancer’ patient category! It was such a non-intrusive treatment that had I known, I wouldn’t have told her about my diagnosis. Obviously for anyone undergoing chemo, with immunity issues or anything like that, that might be more of an issue. But the leaflets you read in hospital encourage you to try alternative therapies to relieve stress etc!!
I hope you don’t have any issues - reflexology sounds wonderful! But I just thought I’d mention my experiences!!
Good luck!

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@Geeps Sorry to hear you were refused treatment. This is not right. I think Dr Liz O’Riordan did a YouTube video or a podcast about complementary treatments. She said that it used to be the case that people that had had cancer or being treated were being refused but now it was changing.

I have aromatherapy massages from a lady who volunteers her services at a local hospice. Could you look up a local hospice and see if they offer similar services and see if you can contact the therapists direct.

I hope you can find somebody soon that can help relax you. :smiling_face_with_three_hearts:



Don’t ever apologise, this is what the forum is here for.

I’m so sorry you have had to cancel your cruise and that your friend is not being very sympathetic. Such a shame the cruise company couldn’t change your dates, not very accommodating.

I hope all these other health issues lessen and are maybe down to stress or anxiety with everything going on.

If you would like to talk to someone the BCN nurses are here for you

  • Helpline: 0808 800 6000 (Mon-Fri 9am-4pm; Sat 9am-1pm). Speak to our trained helpline team. No questions are too big or too small.
  • Ask Our Nurses: You can message our nurses here on the forum, or confidentially. Whatever you prefer.

Take care :smiling_face_with_three_hearts:


Thanks! I’m OK now :crossed_fingers::crossed_fingers::crossed_fingers::crossed_fingers::crossed_fingers:but it was annoying when I felt it would have helped - I wasn’t anticipating that reaction after, like you said, all the encouragement in the hospital to try therapies! I guess insurance companies call the shots these days!

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Could bit be the letrozole causing some of your symptoms? Also if you have a Maggie’s centre you can go to they can offer loads of support and someone to talk to. Some of the other cancer charities offer pampering sessions as well. Try and look after yourself and don’t expect too much until things have settled down a bit, but plan a few lower key things to treat yourself x

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So sorry Sue to hear of your problems- it really does make you feel down but best to get everything sorted. It is horrible and seems so unfair when life throws you one thing after another. I’ve been through quite a lot too. Had a 7 cm lobular cancer removed in a mastectomy last summer, just getting over the radiotherapy and getting used to the abemaciclib when I got Covid very badly which left me with lung damage, and some breathing problems, then rectal bleeding, fortunately polyps found , not bowel cancer, and waiting for
them to be removed, then as shortness of breath getting worse, GP has done some tests and waiting to see if I have heart failure…… it just goes on and on. I’ve had to cancel some freelance work trips abroad over the last few months, which has been so disappointing. Was still working as a freelance tour manager in my seventies . Now I may have to cancel a holiday to Majorca next month. I know how disappointed you must feel but we have to follow the doctors. I am sure if we keep strong and positive, we will beat these problems eventually, and get travelling again one day. I wish you all the best


I did wonder about the letrozole
My go didn’t mention I that and so now I’m in limbo awaiting a neurologist appointment
Thanks for your kind message

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Hi Italian girl and I really do feel for you
Like me it seems to be one thing after another and I’ve been comfort eating too which won’t help my health!
I admire your can do attitude and take heart from that
My daughter has been taking me on walks in the evenings with her dog and the exercise does help
I wish you well and keep in touch x

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Hi @60things

Welcome to the forum.

I hadn’t thought of Letrozole.


Gosh you’ve been through it and you’re still working. Hats off to you. It’s s shame things have had to be cancelled but hopefully it’s just for a short while and you can get back to your travels soon.

For anyone interested BCN are running a survey for forum users.

Take care all :smiling_face_with_three_hearts:

GP probably not aware but if you look on some of the forums and see if anyone else has any similar symptoms