Oh my goodness I did not expect the tears today. I’ve had my planning session and I’ve never felt so vulnerable and helpless in my entire life. Absolutely awful. How the hell am I going to get through the 15 sessions.
I’ve been so strong and done so well so far it’s taken me by suprise. Had to hide in costa to compose myself before going home to my teenage children. My daughter will spot me a mile off ! And she’s already in bits over her GCSE results tomorrow
Someone tell me it gets better !
Aliand. So sorry you have had a bad time today but believe me it is perfectly normal. We go through so much and every now and then it all gets too much and the tears start. I won’t say it is an easy couple of weeks I finished my sessions last Friday, but it is no where near as bad as you build up in your mind. I think once again it’s a case of the unknown your lying there exposed and vulnerable and it just hits you. Keep visiting here you will find loads of ladies who are exactly the same as you and others who have finished who can give you loads of advice and support. Finally I know it doesn’t feel like it at the moment but in no time at all you will be ringing that bell. Hugs and best wishes Chris xx
Hi aliabd. Sorry you got a tad tearful but fully understandable your not in your own and yes it will get easier day by day. Over the first week get used to how you get on that lovely cast iron bed and how much they have to move you. You will get that you will get on that bed and line up straight away. I was telling them my measurements towards the end as I knew if I was wrong and by how many millimetres. How sad hey but it worked. Keep drinking, mourturising and excersising. The planning is always a tad longer and maybe a bit intimidating but think it’s because we don’t have a clue what is happening. Your first session may take a while as it’s first to measurement but after that it should be fine and in and out in 15 mins or less. Your strength will return and it is the last part of active treatment. Bit of advice the radiotherapy does keep working for 10-14 days after completion and don’t expect to feel much at all for at least the first 10. Take care and hope daughter results are what she is expecting. Deep breath count to ten and relax.
If it’s any comfort to you at all, I found the planning session the most difficult of the lot. I walked out of the oncology centre, started dry heaving and crying. This is the woman who was told she had breast cancer in her lunch break and went back to work for the rest of the afternoon! The treatment sessions were shorter and there were half as many people in the room for starters. I think I’d sort of been ignoring the whole cancer business and suddenly it seemed very real. Good luck, I’m sure you can do it.
Aliand I am on day 8 of 15 today, with a break on Bank Holiday Monday. Apart from the slight drag of leaving work early to get treatment at the end of each working day I actually do t mind it at all! Absolutely painless and quite interesting to partake in really. Before rads start I was measured up and a few tiny tattoos…again not too difficult to go through. They let me keep my gown, which I bring in daily, along with my time schedule, so I could plan and work out what times I need to leave the office etc. My hospital also punches your car park card so you don’t have to pay. Every day I just walk in to the oncology unit, get my card punched and just go to the waiting room for rads as the rads desk closes at 5. No faffing or checking in…they just come out and call your name… get changed, on with rads and out. All done and dusted within 20 minutes max assuming I get called on time. So far only a couple of running late schedules, but that’s to be expected at the end of the day. I chose end of day in case I got tired. I run a small busy company so taking days off is simply not an option for me at the minute but everyone is different.
Now, I just get on with it…another daily routine like brushing my teeth ?
My tips?
1 Buy soft comfort bras. I recommend Jojoanies, 4 pack for £20 off Amazon
2 Get some Aloe Vera gel and keep in the fridge. 7.99 plus another for a penny at Holland & Barratt
3 Tell your husband and kids that you expect and deserve some pampering at weekends… Even if it’s just a coffee and cake treat in town or a nice walk (keep up with the exercise!)
Please don’t feel too daunted…the time really does fly!
Aliand
Just to say that everything JaneBelinda has told you is spot on, it’s almost exactly the same for me, car parking, speed of treatments, etc , - once they get you ‘measured up’ for those first couple of appointments, it all gets very rapid! The radiographers are great, very reassuring, kind, relaxed and professional, they will get you through this…
I only have one session left, tomorrow, and I can honestly say that the daily trek has been the hardest part. It’s not a total breeze, but it is very definitely not that bad either !!
Keep your spirits up, once you are started it’ll whizz past…
Best of luck, and hope your daughter is pleased with her GCSE results !
Thistle
I love this forum you are all so fantastic. Each and every comment helps in a different way.
Bra tops and cream ordered in readiness.
GCSE results were good enough for the next stage and no fails.
Schedule just arrived all appointments before 10am so that will get me up and going and it out of the way so I’m not fretting all day.
I can do this ??
Dearest Ailand,
What the other lovelies have all said is 100% true.
I had a total meltdown at my planning session. It was prob the only thing I went to without my mum or boyfriend being with me and I just got totally overwhelmed. A total snot fest.
But you know, once the routine kicked in it was totally fine.
I never bothered to change in to a gown at all. I just used to get in the rad room and whip my top off! I think by that stage I didnt care who saw my boobs as they’d have seen it all before anyway ? However, i was always given a sheet of paper to allow for some modesty. They even covered me with it while the zaps happened so that i didnt lay there feeling exposed and vulnerable. Not that i ever did.
Think the quickest session was me being in and out in 10 mins. But the faff was the 70 mile round trip. Just for 15/20 mins on average!!!
So, heaps of moisturiser, Aloe Vera gel, water, water and water.
Honestly, it must get boring us all saying the same thing ???
I think the planning meeting meltdown must be quite common - it was also the first appointment I went to in my own -they had " lost " my notes and kept me waiting 2 hours -by the time they eventually came to get me I was weeping in the waiting room .I think you have a pause and a great sense of relief after surgery /results then suddenly you are back on the cancer treadmil and it can hit you hard l .I felt very vulnerable and exposed intially during radiotherapy but it did gradually get better .