I am not convinced that this isn’t a naff, embarrassing idea but have decided that if it does turn out to be like that I will just hide myself away under a (big) rock for ever more…
I find it helpful to express my feelings about my breast cancer in rhymes and posted one a few days ago. Normally I keep them firmly locked up in a secret book!
I suspect others may already write their own rhymes, or might like to have a go, so I thought a poetry thread could work? I think it’s sometimes easier to connect with other people through a poem/rhyme so it might help people reading them as well as the people writing them? I envisage a thread that people can dip in and out of and won’t necessarily be top of the leader board on the forum latest posts but that could provide a good resource for connecting with people going through the same as you.
Hope it works. If not then I accept the shame! Please post your stuff.
Prologue
I’m not a soldier, I’m not “fighting”, I’m me and just trying to cope.
And don’t tell me that it suits me being bald because it doesn’t and I hate it, HATE IT, and FFS don’t say I look like Sinead O’Connor.
My hair’s long gone
Brows and lashes running scared
Steroids make me fat
Nails dry, flaking and falling off.
…I look and feel like shit. Oh, I feel really pretty. Not.
I’m still the person I always was
I just can’t see her right now.
Duncan Goodhew is
SO not a good look for a girl.
…A fleeting glance of myself in a mirror still shocks me. Oh, and I’m not brave.
Scarred and sore and much surgery yet to come
Three months of this so far
Mouth ulcers from lips to arse; this chemo’s great
I’d puke up if only I could eat.
…And still the steroids make me look fat and healthy. I’m not “looking well”, I feel like crap.
Imagine that YOU were just given
A 50-50% chance of being around.
And five more years’ treatment planned.
“Think about Kylie, she’s OK”.
…So she wasn’t one of the twelve thousand who die in the UK from breast cancer each year, then?
Believe me, I want to put this behind me
And live a few more years with so much to do
Seeing the kids grow up
Travelling the world, having fun
…There is still so much that I want to achieve.
Epilogue
The cancer stick hits whomsoever it chooses
Regardless of whether they are cheerful or not.
No-one can stay cheerful every day
Even without a death sentence hanging over them.
…Now pass me the morphine and stop telling me that I have to stay f***ing positive all the time.
how dare you come into our lives,
to give us worry beyond measure,
how dare you come and take away
the carefree days we treasure
,
how could you make our loved ones cry
and cause them sleepless nights
and then you go and challenge us
to nasty endless fights.
well youve taken on the wrong crowd here,
we are stronger than you think,
cos as a team we draw our strength
we have one massive link.
you see we love our families
more than you could ever know,
and this will keep us fighting you ,
and amazing strength we’ll show,
so if you think we’ll just give in,
then you couldnt be more wrong,
you arent just fighting one of us,
cos as a team we’re strong
and when we feel a little low or sad,
we post on here you see,
and we all support each other,
like a little family.
What operation should I have ? why?
( Did you cut things up as a child? )
How long will it take ?
(When should my family start to worry?
How long will it take for me to recover?
( When will I know what I am going to look like?)
What are the possible complications ?
( Am I going to survive this ?)
“do you have anymore question”
No…
( what do you think about when you are cutting people open? Are you nice to your family, animals, old people, children? Do I remind you of your mother, sister, an ex wife/ girlfriend?.. Did you like them?
Questions for the oncologist
What chemotherapy will I have.?
(What poison are you going give me?)
When will it start?
( how long am I going to have my hair?)
What are the benefits of this treatment?
( did the last one like me survive?)
“Any other questions?”
No…
( Were you bullied at school? Do I remind you of that bully? Do you have a God complex? Will you remember me the moment I leave this room.? I won’t forget you…
I’m scared and angry but just not with you,
Someone awake me and say its all not true.
All these emotions are just crammed inside,
why can’t cancer just get cancer and die?
Because it likes to see you in pain and suffer,
go away cancer your not taking my mother.
She means so much to everyone and me,
So one day from you she will be free.
It’s because we’re there for her and encourage her to be strong,
That she will beat you it shouldn’t take long.
When she beats and she will one day,
We’ll all be happy again and keep you at bay.
Thats lovely Honeybee and it just reminded me of this poem my son wrote for me
Dear Mum
I know sometimes it seems like I can’t see
All the great things you do for me
And lately I’ve been feeling real guilty
With all the stuff that’s going on lately
But we will stay strong all the way
I’ll be by your side every day
I’m sorry for the times I treat you bad
And right now I feel so sad
Can’t imagine how you feel now, it’s true
But Mum just know I’m so proud of you
The next year might be tough
But you have such support, more than enough
Just wanted to let you know I’m here
For every cry and every tear
You are my wonderful Mum
Couldn’t wish for a better one
Thanks everyone what a lovely thread. Kittycat love both yours, I was upset and tearful at the time flicking through post read your boob one and started to giggle thanks hon! Just what I needed . X
