Positive results but feel strange

Public Archive
1

Good news so far. 8mm grade 1 lump removed, so it was very tiny. The cancer had not hit the lymph nodes and it was removed with clear margins around it.

So far I am having radiotherapy then tamoxifen for 10 years.

One of the tests has come back borderline for chemotherapy, so when I meet with the oncologist next week they will decide what way to go.

More waiting, but knowing it has been removed and not gone any further is a relief, but this morning, I am not sure how I should feel. I know I have had the best possible outcome so far and have been extremely lucky so should be jumping for joy. But I just feel a bit lost and confused and I don’t know why.

Has anyone else felt like this ?

Xxxxx

2

rach

 

That is good news, having got clear margins round the lump and it has not gone into the lymph nodes. So as you say it looks as if rads and tamoxifen.

 

I know when I had the same result I was so relieved but really did not understand what it meant that it had not gone into the lymph nodes, there was an awful lot to take in, and in the coming days you will digest it all.

 

I think sometimes we get ourselves into a position where we are expecting “bad” news that when we are told it is not as bad as we thought it might be there is this sense of relief but also this feeling of being lost and not sure what to do next.  Perhaps the confusion you feel is due to this question of the borderline test, but you will have that result next week when you see the oncologist.  What you need to do in the coming days is to write down all the questions, no matter how small, to ask them.  I even wrote a question down about whether if I had a cold would that affect my having radiotherapy.

 

To let you know mine was 17mm and grade1 as well.  I di have tubular breast cancer which is a different form and went on to have radiotherapy and am on Tamoxifen for 5 years.

 

Sending you a lovely squishy hug

 

Helena xxx

3

Hi Rach,

 

Yes, really good news about the nodes and margins etc, but it doesn’t alter the fact that you’re still on this roller coaster!  You still have appointments, and treatments and the rest of your life to face. It’s hard to be whooping for joy when what you really want is to not have breast cancer at all!

 

We probably all feel the same, I know I get it completely.  It’s a new language, new feelings and never completely goes away.  

 

I’ve my results a week today, and think/hope/dread, all at the same time, that I may be in a similar position to you.  It’s not easy.

 

Just feel how you feel, from one moment to the next!  I have moments when I feel really happy and grateful it was found, and other more difficult ones.  Knowing you are all out there and understand helps.

 

be kind to yourself,

 

Jayne

xx

 

4

I know EXACTLY how you feel, mine was grade 2, 15mm, I have same treatment as you and waiting for oncotype to see if chemo is recommended.

 

I’ve been waiting nearly 4 weeks so far for oncology and I’m still waiting! I feel flat and lost at the moment. So I totally empathise. Xxxxx 

5

Thank you Helena,Jayne and Emily

It’s horrendous I thought I felt ok but now I’m back to where I started.

Diagnosis so far

9mm tumor removed. Grade 1 ER+ HER2 borderline. No node involvement.

Waiting for results of fish test and to see oncologist. My mind is yet again, all over the place.

Love and strength to you all ???

6

Hi Rach,

 

My diagnosis is 4.7cm grade 3 - had a mx, no node involvement or vascular invasion, so currently cancer free. 

 

I should be jumping for joy, which I was initially, but now like you and the others I am just in limbo and a bit numb. 

 

I know I am having chemo, I was told at the results of my biopsy. But, I have now been waiting for an appointment to start since 22 Dec.  I think knowing I have treatment still to complete and you ladies not even knowing, is what leaves us all feeling flat and down.

 

I can’t believe I come home looking forward to receiving  a letter which ultimately will poison my body and make me unwell.

 

 

7

I know Silver Lady.

At the moment, I don’t feel I can plan anything as treatment lengths will be vastly different.

The waiting is so painful and I feel my OH just thinks I need to snap out of it and just forget about it until I know.

Hard when you are living with it xxx

8

Hi ladies,

I read your posts and can feel your anguish, concern and confusion about the various ways you feel.

The diagnosis is such a traumatic event and that alone will take time to adjust to and come to terms with. So many questions might go through your mind - why me, what have I done? It is not you or what you have done - unfortunately it just happens, that for some of us a cell in our body turns ‘rouge’ and causes us to have breast cancer. Some of you may feel that your body has let you down. That your instincts you had about your body can no longer be trusted, which in turn can lead us to distrust our body and ourselves. And we might worry that we can never trust our body or ourselves again.

Often, the answers you may seek are simply not out there. This is a great place to share your thoughts, concerns and worries - as we can share our personal experiences. And in these shared experiences you might find the answers you might be looking for. So a big hug to all of you. You have experienced a major trauma - give yourself the space to deal with it. 

The waiting for results and commencement of treatment does seem to be the worse time, as we naturally want to fight what is threatening us straight away.

A 2-3 week wait for results or referrals seems to be relative common. However, if the wait of finding out your next step should exceed this, may I recommend that you call your Breast Care Nurse and start pushing for answers. Your Breast Care Nurse is your ‘key worker’ through this journey, having access to your records and your multidisciplinary treatment team.

Not having lymphatic or vascular involvement is such good news, as it makes the likelyhood of ‘rouge’ cells having spread and settling elswhere in your body, so much lower. This bodes well for the future.

Radiotherapy can be challenging for some, but it is doeable and I am sure that Ladybowler will be happy to share her experience with you. It is important to gain the right advice with regard to looking after your skin during and post radiotherapy treatment. There is much advice on this site. Unfortunately the professionals are a little lacking in that department, despite all. E45 is rarely going to do the trick in keeping your skin well.

Hormone therapy, whichever it may be - Letrozole, Tamoxifen, Anastrazole, etc. is a great way to prevent recurrance in other parts of our bodies. Unfortunately is brings its own challenges for many. Much help and advice can be found on the relevant Hormone therapy threads. It may be good to keep in mind, that most post on the threads do so, because they have experienced challenges - it is rare to see posts of those, who are doing well on these therapies. So please don’t let Hormone Therapy scare you - should you have explored those threads. 

Hugs

Sue x