hi all me again, lemongrove, i fully understand what you say, i think its more a case of not knowing what to say , so people say ahhhhh well done,these people are not standing in our shoes, and they dont have a clue that their comments are annoying, i got a comment that really p***ed me off, it was …oh god i bet your glad thats over… the day i finished my rads…over ? over? at the time i felt like i had been used as a mop to clean up a horrid mess…people dont realise, its never over. that its always there, and comes flying back with every ache and pain you ever get, but i think they mean well…they dont realise that we are never going to be the same people we were before diagnosis,and life does not just settle back to how it was before, hence… my possitiveness… before diagnosis i was a very strong and organised person, who was thoughtfull and strong willed, today im somewhat different… now i have a zero level of tollerance… a new selection of friends… the new ones are real friends…and ive somehow developed a fetish for new shoes…and handbags… and underwear, oh and perfume…but i think im going through a case of what if tomorrow never comes syndrome… today im holiday shopping… but not for me… for my lovely hubby and son… who have been with me every step of the way… i am possitive i can walk past river island ladied department… mite find the handbags a tough one tho ,and i have to go in to boots… but i hope the sun tan lotion is not by the perfum counter…cuz i quite like the new alien haha… im possitive im not even going to look in a shoe shop…and i have to pick up a tiara… dam debenhams…so i do have some possitives for today, angie xx
Angie, you really sound like a girl after my own heart with the honesty coming out when people talk about it being over. I look shocked and say “oh no, it’s nowhere NEAR over. I’ve had surgery, I’ve done chemo (and that was really sh**, I’m in the middle of radiotherapy, I’ve just started a year of intravenous Herceptin every three weeks and I have five YEARS of hormones to go. And that’s if it doesn’t come back in the meantime.” THAT usually shuts 'em up…
Don’t share your shopping fettish. I swear I’ve turned into a bloke, as I HATE shopping. (Too many mirrors for one thing!)
hi chock… well yeh people mean well im possitive of that… but sometimes its better to say nothing than say the wrong thing, well meaning im sure, whats this with the mirrors thing ?? so you may look different… but so what…they are your battle scars, as for the shopping, i hated it… any type of shopping, i dunno whats the matter with me, but i see it i like it i have it … ive gone from a lovely size 10 before this lot started, and i went up to a size 16 plus…thats one of the reasons my onc took me off tamoxifen and gave me exemestain… but im still a lardy ass… lardy thighs… saggy boob and 3/4s… im just not me anymore… and now im a shopaholic as well xx angie
Initially it’s the convict look, but I still FEEL like the size 12 I was about 4 years ago, rather than the extremely flabby size 16 I am now, so the mirrors remind me what I actually look like rather than how I feel. Eeew, not a pretty sight without clothes, only for those with a strong stomach. (Bless the OH, he’s got a strong stomach…)
The hair thing’s cancer-related, not liking how I look (and having been too flipping lazy to do anything about it!) is definitely a pre-cancer thing.
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oh my goddddddddddd i forgot the tiara… on a possitive note… got sun lotion… and loads for hubby and son,… managed to do river island… never took my purse out my bag…thats a first…smiled to myself when i walked past a shoe shop… never went in… another first… then boots…failed miserably… well not really miserably… smiled all the way to the counter…new mascara…possitivly had to have it… new eyeliner… always liked the vamp look but never tried it… last nite i looked like a panda… there must be a nack, just havent found it yet…oh and blusher… blusher !!! i looked like aunt sally met alice cooper and fell in a bucket of tango… but i forgot the dam tiara… sorry… next time i will try to be more possitive. hehe. angie x
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