this is your safe space never apologise for sharing we’re all here and bcn is here for you 
Shi xx
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Yes that still drives me crazy too. I breastfed pretty much non-stop for 4 years and still have breast cancer?!
I’m still fairly early on in my journey - had my surgery at the beginning of March and I’m starting chemo on Wednesday all being well. Trying to find some strength to be brave about it!
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Hello
So glad you got checked, so glad you have a diagnosis but now comes the waiting and treatments and your team will be awesome and with you every step of the way but you are going to have to learn to be patient, to distract yourself and to ask for help and support from them, your family and mates
Dense breasts are all around you and checking them isn’t easy but know your normal and seeing a GP or nurse asap when its no longer normal is a massive positive
I check mine in the shower and then lying on the bed so you have a good old check when they are flatter if that makes sense
Telling anyone let alone small children is hard and there isn’t a right or wrong but keep it simple
Macmillan and cancer research uk have some helpful hints and tips and the nurses on here can help too so pick up the phone…they will help you
Good luck x
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Hi.Please please don’t be beating yourself up about not finding the lump.Goodness we all know through pregnancy and breast feeding the breasts feel different to the norm.At your age,being so young,a lump would never have entered my head other than pregnancy breasts Hope that makes sense Going back to the lump that you feel you should have felt earlier.I’m now a lot older than you and went for routine mammogram(I check myself regularly)to find I had cancer both breasts with lymph node involvement…… I didn’t know it was there.Had no symptoms,nothing!Infact I was the fittest I had ever been….So Please please don’t be dwelling on the fact you should have found it earlier 
You will get through this, taking it one day/week at a time 
It is daunting but be positive…. I went to my chemo appointments with a positive attitude,almost welcoming it,as it would be another one over with……Please take my best wishes.Be brave,be positive but most of all don’t stop being you 
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I feel 
sad for you. There is nothing like breast feeding your own baby, too find a lump that’s cancerous must have been heart breaking 
I hope that everything goes well and you live to see your children grow and prosper and emerge as caring adults xxxx
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This is such a kind message and does help me. Thank you.
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You absolutely have to hold onto the fact that the nurse sent you when she did. If you are anything like me - the lack of control during breast cancer is tormenting me and I did the same as you - went back and forth saying if only I had gone earlier - also have dense breasts - harder to find and feel lumps. But that time is gone try and focus on the control and job you have in front of you - getting through treatment as well as you can - looking after yourself and being as open as you want to be with your girls - good luck xx
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If it’s any help I didn’t find mine at all! I had a lump in my armpit which is why I went to the Dr, they examined me and didn’t find anything else. It was only when I went to the clinic and the surgeon examined me that she almost immediately found the lump in my other breast. I had no idea, the GP had no idea, it was found because an expert who deals with this day in, day out, found it. I’m glad she did as I had a cyst in the area years ago and even if I had have felt something would probably thought it was that and done nothing about it. Main thing is it has been found and now you can be treated. x
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Don’t apologise - every time you tell the story (speaking or writing), it reduces the amount that’s whirring around in your mind. Very soon, the past will be gone, you can live in the present, have your treatments and then look forward to an amazing future with your little girls❤️
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Hi, just wanted to reach out, I can relate to this post about it being a bad dream so much (in fact all your posts!). I will say that over time the moments you “forget” become a little longer and when going through treatment your mind is focused on that.
I was diagnosed in January 2024, at 41 with a 3 year old, er+ her2 neg and some lymph nodes involved. Finished active treatment in December, chemo, surgery (mastectomy and diep flap reconstruction) and finally radiotherapy. Looking back I missed some symptoms and should have picked my cancer up sooner but with no family history and being in my early 40s I didn’t really think about it. Turns out it was pretty much my entire boob, I was told having dense breasts would have made it hard to find but I know I should have spotted the symptoms earlier, it’s tough to come to terms with but we have to look forward and deal with the now.
There is a book called “Mummys lump” I went through with my little girl and also lent to her nursery so they knew what we’d told her. I found this really helpful.
Hopefully you’ve got some support, family and friends around you, don’t be too proud to ask for help during treatment. I found people I didn’t expect were amazingly supportive.
Wishing you all the best for your treatment xxx
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This is such a kind and positive response: thank you.
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I thought I would chip in with a bit of positivity on the oligometastatic bit, as I haven’t noticed any responses on that. I do have a different breast cancer (grade 3 TNBC) and a different spread location (liver), so my treatment options were different, but I did emerge from a combination of immunotherapy, chemotherapy and ablation with a remission that has lasted so far. (I was first diagnosed in 2022). I think there’s a lot more chance of kicking it into touch when spread is limited to a small number of mets - which is what oligometastatic means. Wishing you all the best.
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Thank you for your kind response: and long may your remission last!
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@Shi that made me cry,I’m very early stages (waiting on biopsy results and CT) It’s this damn waiting is hellish…I just want the lump out now and to start treatment (well not really but you know what I mean).
Protecting family is so true while your head is screaming “why me”!
So glad I found this site, it’s wonderful
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crazy once you have your results and your treatment plan in place, take it a day at a time do reach out on here do ask away and look at joining the threads that you might want to. There are other things you might want to look at and that breast cancer now can help with the someone like me option, the phone number where you can speak to a nurse and always lots of kindness and understanding ears here on the forum do everything your own way in your own time, there’s no right or wrongs, you are still amazing you through all this don’t let it take your joy, it will try but don’t let it we’ve all been on the 
to narnia but we’ve got each other and breast cancer now’s got you so wrap the invisible safety blanket round you and use here as your safe space as much or as little as you need Shi xx
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My mum had the exact same DX as you and she is 62 and had full mx with lymph node removal and DIEP surgery she is having radiotherapy now to treat the breast bone and chest wall area and will be on hormone treatment for 10 years.
Please check breast predict your type is very favourable.
They often class any spread from the breast to the lymph nodes as oligometastatic cancer.
You are young and will get through treatment please message me if you need to talk.
I know it can be so scary xx
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Hello what is breast predict your type? Thank you for the encouraging message!
Breast predict is an online tool that shows you the treatment you can have the outcome HR and PR postive HER2 negative found in 4 nodes and also on the chest wall treatment was radiotherapy and hormones for 10 years
Sorry also she had 3 lumps different grades I think they call it multifolical breast cancer please see the online tool you can use https://breast.v3.predict.cam/ Your type is not typically classed as stage 4 because it is still localised but advanced localised so can still be cured, treatment may just be longer or more aggressive but trust me you will be fine, the road will be tough and it may feel really scary right now but you will get through it.
Breast cancer is so common now and the treatments are amazing even in the last 10 years they have come a long way.
Stay postive be calm and everything will be ok xxxx
This is such a kind and supportive message. Thank you!