I’m 10 days post surgery and feeling a little lonely. I have lots of people around me but I’m trying to be strong and whilst I’ve genuinely got my head around it I do need to talk about how I’m feeling, but I don’t want the concerned faces I get when I start discussing how I feel. I’m 45, married with 2 younger kids.
i hopped on here to find people who are at a similar stage or have been through similar - really for solidarity.
I’m still sore and have a drain in 1 side so v housebound but I’m mentally fine so I’m restless. Today I felt like I started to get some sensation back in the skin across my chest and the arm where the lymphs were removed which has made me feel strangely weak and weepy.
I’ve spent the day researching chemo. I have the oncologist in 2 weeks but have been told they will be throwing the kitchen sink at me. I have no idea what to expect but so fearful of it totally disrupting life. I want some semblance of normality.
Is anybody else at the same stage. How are you feeling? How do you feel about your new body? How are people reacting around you? Are you prepping for chemo?
I really sorry you’ve been through so much and still have a lot to come. Mastectomy is a big op and I’ve found very hard to get through.
I’m 6 months post treatment and didn’t have chemo/radio but felt I wanted to offer you some support.
I’ve found going through this has been incredibly lonely but would suggest Breast Cancer Now’s Someone Like me phone support. They match you with someone who has had the same treatment as you and in similar circumstances. You can chat on the phone with someone who knows what you’re going through. I’d also recommend talking to the nurses at Breast Cancer Now who are fantastic and very supportive. I hope others can offer support for your further treatment,
I don’t match many of your criteria but I had similar surgery just over a year ago and was told they were throwing everything they had at me. These oncologists must have an interesting training. The way they put it is meant to sound reassuring but it just made me feel worse, like what I had was worse than other people’s breast cancer so I should feel more worried. I’ve learnt since then that there’s no hierarchy in breast cancer - we all suffer in our own ways.
What I wanted to say is, although I had a rough ride with chemo, I wouldn’t have had it any different. Having the kitchen sink chucked at me has made me far more confident that the cancer is definitely gone, for now at least; for good, with luck. If it returns, then I’ll cross that bridge if ever I come to it. You’ll get through it - just focus on the next treatment. Some people sail through so don’t fret about side effects till they happen. Your team will do everything they can to prevent or ease the side effects. Some people (like me) respond badly and feel like zombies at times. But it passes. That’s why I said focus on the next treatment - it means one less to go each time.
I hope your research is restricted to sites like this one and NHS. Google in general is not our friend at this time, full of outdated information, overly scholarly papers that scare the wits out of us. Resist the temptation. The nurses here can answer any questions you forget to ask at the hospital - if you ring them, they are so understanding. As for mood swings, it’s a normal reaction to general anaesthesia. You’ve had a huge trauma, physically and emotionally. I hope you find a semblance of normality for yourself and your family but remember, you will need an outlet for your own specific emotional needs. A lot of hospitals run groups for women with young families, I believe, and check to see if you are near enough to one of The Havens - they do. Otherwise, choose a friend (maybe not your closest) who you know can take it and confide in them. I had one who managed to process information and put an undeniable positive spin on things to change my perspective just a little. She was a treasure.
Good luck wth what lies ahead. I hope more people see your post and respond to the other bits.