Post op & twice the size

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141

Hiya

Flight was fine, all arramgements worked well so far. Am staying in the most beautiful house, it’s kind of a Victorian mansion, and I feel a bit ‘Lost in Austen’ here. Work colleague’s wife is looking after me really well and I think likes having someone to talk to. Going to the Opera tomorrow night, really excited as we don’t get opera on the Island!

Was on the slab for 50 mins yesterday, had to wait for them to call the most senior person as there was ‘a discrepancy’ between what they were seeing and what was written down. Still, as you say, didn’t feel a thing. Should be shorter today.

Have you been told how often to use the aqueous cream? Must remember to ask today.

Hope the road works don’t delay you too much
Kinden
x

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Opera hey how the other half lives… Im helping to write an essay on Jekyll & Hyde!!! i know which id rather!
Glad your being looked after enjoy it- I was told to use the cream twice a day to start then as oftenm as necessary.

Its the being arranged on the ‘slab’ that takes the longest.

Had my 41st b’day yesterday…like any other oh not made an effort as usual - girls did manage a card which for the first time was paid for with their own money so was quite special. BUt as usual I spent it taxiing.

Well only 2 sessions next week - then off shopping iwht girsl on wednesday quite looking forward to that.

Take care speak soon xx
Leesha

I

143

Hi Leesha

Have been incommunicado for a while as not near any online access, and the coverage for it and my mobile in my hotel is shockingly bad.

Had a great 1st week, then my family came over for half term and we did lots of stuff like taking the kids to Chester Zoo and hitting the shops at Cheshire Oaks (spent an absolute fortune) as there’s so much more variety than we have on the Island.

Schoolfriends came and took me away to Llandudno for the weekend and we had a blast, have not laughed so much in ages.

Have been on my own since Monday lunch time and sleeping a lot to catch up with what I missed + because of tiredness caused by rads. They’re ok though, aren’t they? I’ve had 12 now and skin is holding up well. How’s yours going? Staff are lovely and the bc nurse here knows how to have a giggle, so all in all ok, just far from home and family. Mind you, our kitchen was ripped out during half term, so I’m glad not to be there!

Hope you’re ok. Belated happy birthday. Hope OH is behaving himself. Mine seems to be at the moment, has sent some quite sweet e mails and is stepping up to the plate re doing everything for the kids.

take care, love
Kinden
x

144

Glad to hear from you - sounds like you’ve been busy. Rads is defo easy - my skin seems ok - i have to keep reminding myself to put the cream on.

Am busy working - financially our lifes a mess at moment.
Something we could really do without - so dont even have the time to be ill.

OH is doing all he can to get work. I could do with working full time really. but rads get in the way.

will be glad to get this year out the way. Fresh start for 2009 something positive i hope.

Sorry to be on such a downer

Leesha xx

145

Hiya

Sorry you’re having such a hard time financially, it puts strain on other things too doesn’t it? Hope OH gets something really soon.

I came home Friday to an absolute tip of a house and feel like I have spent the whole weekend cleaning and washing, but we are having a new kitchen and the old one has just been ripped out so there is dust everywhere. It wouldn’t have been perfect if I’d been the one at home, but it would have been a lot better. Have had to live on takeaways and sandwiches as we have no cooker at all, just a sink and washing machine.

Rads still ok, and one of the therapists has got me a deal at a different hotel starting tomorrow, which has a restaurant that is open and a telephone in the bedroom, which the other one didn’t have, so that’s already an improvement. Remainder of breast is feeling fairly sore now but skin still ok. You?

Not feeling as tired as I feared, probably cos I feel sooooo much better than on chemo.

Hang in there hon, don’t work too hard, get some rest when you can.

How’s the foal doing?

Take care
Kinden
xx

146

At least you’ll have nice new kitchen before christmas…!! I hope anyway.
My rads ok - skin not sore at all not itredness apart from the usual from life in general.
Hopefully this week will see us knowing where we are going financially - I managed to not open some post and put it down in September other things on my mind then put stuff ont top of it and forgot about it. Hence the hassle - trying to rectify the error and get things paid up and sorted.

OH is doin his best - got chance to go back to Scotland in a few weeks so aould be earning some reg money up to christmas which would be lovely and allow me to breathe. I would just love to sit down put feet up and not think about cashflow!!! Oh well such is life.

Plus weather awful so hat ebeing outside - its so cold even with a hat. Roll on long hair again!!

Only 2 weeks to go then no more rads - cant believe it.

Take care

Speak soon

Leesha

147

Hiya

On Tuesday I took out the couple I stayed with the 1st wk of rads, which was lovely, I’m glas they let me do something to thank them.

Had an auntie who’s only 10 years older than me come up from Oxford Weds-Fri this week. She was so jolly and laughing the whole time, I found it quite wearing, but did have a nice time, and it was great not to have to have a ‘table for one’ at the hotel.

This week’s hotel MUCH better than last, so will stick with it. I had a 4 poster bed, which was a bit of a waste when I was there alone, but lovely all the same.

Some of the unit cases have been erected, and all the plastering has been done, but still nothing like a kitchen. Friend took pity on us and invited us round but then had to go to the out of hrs Doc with her 14mth old, so she did us a takeaway lamb hotpot instead!

Eldest has nits. Got the stuff from the chemist and have done it but not sure it’s worked as she is still scratching. Can’t believe OH didn’t notice her scratching or the marks on the bedding. Can’t stop scratching myself now of course!

Wedding anniversary tomorrow, 7 years. Then OH’s birthday on 20th and youngest is 3 on 21st, so a busy week in our family, but all celebrations postponed until my return.

Rads still not bad, just a bit red and sore. Having a good laugh with my team.

You ok?

Do you think you’ve dealt with the psychological effects of having bc yet, cos I don’t think I have, I still can’t get my head around being a person with cancer.

Will check in in the week to see how you are.

Hugs

Kinden
x

148

glad your having a more positive time.
things here getting more perspective - and no dont think id realised how much i have been affected by bc and the closer i get to the end of treatment the more time there is to mull things over. Plus having this other crap at the sme time really highlights how much I ve not been happy for a long time in my relationship. So next year is the year for postitive action one way or another. Ive every right to be happy!
2 more rads to go hooray!!! then cardio & onc on monday…then herceptin

will be glad to have a normal? week with no visit to hospital.

Leesha xxx

149

Hiya,

Yeh, it does put things into perspective. OH didn’t even get me a card for our anniversary, which is what we usually do, and this weekend he has accused me of ‘swanning off’ to the UK for radiotherapy, as if I’ve chosen to have bc!! He said he wished it was him, I said so do I.

Have something resembling a kitchen, but still no cooker, big improvement though, although again I’d have done far more in the week than he did in terms of tidying up all the stuff etc. The kids’ clothes were strewn around the place, I don’t mind him not doing the washing, but not even making it to the washing basket…

You must have finished rads now. Good luck with cardio and onc on Monday. I’ve got 1 more week of rads, just boosters to go for which I’m being marked up tomorrow.

You do have every right to be happy

Take care

Kinden
xx

150

Sorry not been online for ages - where does the time go?
Rads over - all went well then all skin peeled off under arm - talk about painful!!!
Cardio good - glad to know heart beating well.
Started Herceptin yesterday - all day job - had to be there for six hours to be observed for possible reaction. Temp went high - 38.9 so had to stay till went down with use of fan - talk about freezing. ANy way let me home - so came home and straight to bed. Feel better today. Am taking girls christmas shopping and haircuts today. my next herceptin supposed to be christmas eve…to which i refused the appoint. no way im spending all day in hospital got too much to do. so managed to postpone till 29th.
Hope you have a good christmas - in your new kitchen.
I know what you mean bout washng etc - ours doesnt magically get done!!!

will talk soon - lets hope 2009 is a positive one

Leesha xx

151

Hiya

I’ve been on a lot less since getting back home from rads. Soooo good to be home. My eldest daughter’s teacher told me one Monday morning that she had been crying the previous Friday cos she missed her Mummy - great as I then had to go from school to the airport to go away for another week, but now the teacher says that she is really happy I’m home to stay.

Bet you’re glad to get one herceptin under your belt. How’s the tamoxifen going for you? I’m still having hot flushes at night and my hips ache, but I’m not sure if that’s a side effect from the taxotere as still have really sore hands and feet, and have veinous cording in my non-surgery side.

Went to my work’s Christmas lunch and also saw some police officer ‘clients’ and they were all really pleased to see me and genuinely glad I’m going back to work on 5th Jan, which was lovely. It feels a bit like I’m beginning to put it behind me.

Kitchen still not done, but am not that bothered as we have cooker and fridge, most units and a bit of worktop!

Well, we’re going to Lapland for Christmas. Leaving the Island on 20th, stay with my parents for 3 nights then to northern Sweden, Ice hotel on Christmas eve night, then to Stockholm for New year. Can’t wait!

Hope you have a great one too, and thanks for your support through this horrid time

Kinden
xxx

152

Hi Leesha

How you doing?
I’m tired having gone back to work (albeit part time for the moment) this week. It is like being the new girl as there have been massive changes in my absence.

Having fewer hot flushes now, still some residual chemo side effects, but have re-discovered my taste for red wine.

Had an amazing Christmas at the Ice Hotel in Lapland, kids beside themselves to see santa arrive on his reindeer sleigh, hotel itself awesome. Ruinously expensive though and so I need to be back at work earning full pay to pay it off!

Am currently in Liverpool. Came over yesterday for a party to celebrate someone’s appointment to the judiciary. The old me probably wouldn’t have come over, not spent the money on flight and hotel, not been away from OH and kids,but now I just think that I’ll live life to the full and enjoy, we never know if we’re going to get secondaries etc. I don’t want to talk myself in to having them, but at the moment feel that it’s inevitable, just a question of when. Must raise this with onc when I see him on Thurs.

How you doing on herceptin?

Happy New Year

Kinden
x

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Glad to know you had good time xmas - and that you’re back at work. Go for it live life to the full!!

Xmas good - thinking 2008 couldnt get any worse

but

three weeks before xmas my stupid oh got arrested for drink driving !!! waiting for blood results to see if over limit. So hes on bail till 27th Feb!!

Then on dec 30th - we had fire in my office!!! luckliy oh got up at 3.30am to use bathroom. - whole office gutted all paperwork computeres etc files!!! but no one injured and the rest of house ok!!!

So 2009 got to be a good year.

Herceptin a doddled in comparision!!! - although now got a allergic reaction to something and cant stop itching!!!

Work a blast!

Am going out more with friends ect - living life

talk again

Leesha

154

Hiya

Can’t believe your oh, and what a long bail date, a long time to be under that stress.

Nightmare re the fire, hope you’ve managed to sort things out now.

Glad Herceptin is easy for you. The itching may be nothing to do with that as I have been v itchy in my breast + surounding area these past few weeks, although I don’t know where your itching is.

Finding work quite hard as so much has changed and being part time I can’t fully get into the swing of things, but am too knackered to do more than part time.

Have had a painful hip for a while, had an X-ray this week and am now being sent for a nuclear bone scan on Tues, so am terrified but glad I am getting seen so quickly.

Really hope 2009 so far has been heaps better than 2008 for you and your family

Take care

Kinden
x

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Hi - 2009 has got to better for all of us - how much worse can it be?
The itching has calmed down thanks to piriton. It was all over…def an allergic reaction to something.

re fire - still waiting on insurance assessor and building quotes.

Once jan over can concentrate on other things - too much on with tax return deadlinf of 31st!

Dont put yourself under too much pressure to push to getting back into the swing of work… step at a time…find time to do enjoyably selfish things. Im planning a trip to vancouver for the end of year - hopefully to visit my sister.

I’ve also achieved thia week - i towed our horse trailer for the first time on saturday (a nervous wreck i was!) but dont need to reply on oh now. Daft really cos id happily drive a 7.5 t lorry. anyway i did it.

Next month - ive promised im going to start riding again.

Lifes for enjoying.

Hopefully the xray will be ok - ill be thinking of you - take care

leesha
xx

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Hi Leesha

Having a bit of difficulty negotiating the new site!

The bone scan was clear according to the radiologist, hooray. I went in in the morning and was told that there was a ‘lucent area’ on the x ray which is why I needed the bone scan. It took 3 of them and 3 attempts to find a vein for the radioactive injection, so I was glad again that I had had the PICC line in for chemo. Afterwards, she let me look at the scan. It was really weird seeing your own skeleton (and the flesh around it!)Feel so relieved, as had let my mind run away with thoughts of not seeing out this year.

Am gradually getting back into the swing of things at work, feeling a bit more settled. I’m sure you’re flat out with the 31st Jan deadline coming up.

My eldest has started pony club at a new stables. It’s much stricter than the other one, which is probably good for her.

Well done on towing the trailer, but don’t let OH get away with doing nothing for you!

Good luck with riding again. I’m going to start singing lessons again when I get my hearing aid and can hopefully hear better.

Hope the Herceptin continues to be easy for you. How long are you having it for?
Best wishes

Kinden
x

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I hate the new format!! - thought id got the wrong site!!

Glad about the bone scan - not surprised you thought the worst. We all do it. Worrying about it too wont help tiredness ect.

Loooking forward to next month and an easier time. Im planning a trip to Vancouver next christmas to see my sister. Found the flights - just got to save the cash then i can book. So hopefully by March I will have it sorted. Im really excited about it.

The herceptin will be over by then too. Just have to sort travel insurance. and new passports (ours got burnt in fire!!)

Hope your daughter enjoys her riding. I am so looking forward to doing more of it next month.

Take care
bye for now
Leesha

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hi - after going through chemo & rads with no real problems - this hrceptin & lapatinib lark is causing me more problems.
after the itchy rash going - ive now got inflammation all around the site of the mast and feel like ive been kicked in the ribs! had high temp all weekend (thought i was getting kids cold) went to hospital yesterday - got some antibiotics andpainkillers (not that theye dulled it yet) hoping it not cellulitis - they think it more areaction from the drugs. doesnt explain the raised infection level though.
hey ho - onwards and upwards hopefully an easier month now and bit of me time.

hope you ok
leesha

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Hi Leesha

Sorry that you’re having such a hard time with the Herceptin etc.

May be it’s partly because you’ve been working so hard getting all the tax returns in by last Friday? If it’s a reaction to the drugs, what do they then do about giving you more drugs?

Hope the antibiotics and painkillers kick in today for you. If the painkillers aren’t strong enough, can you get something stronger, even oromorph?

I’m doing ok, getting used to being back at work even though everything is so different now, and I’m not as happy at work as I was before diagnosis, which is weird for me cos I’ve always really enjoyed my job. The hip xray showed that I have osteo-arthritis in my right hip, but it doesn’t hurt at all. I still don’t know why my left hip does hurt, but as long as it’s not bone mets I’m not worried.

Take great care, let others look after you as much as you can and let me know how you are

Hugs

Kinden
x

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sitting in bed with laptop - how decadant. had a lazy day today - youngest stayed at friends last night & tonight - so i didnt have to worry about feeding & taking to school _ what an amazing friend. Eldest is foghting off a rotten cold so shes been asleep most of the time & not really eating.
Pain killers have dulled it - think it takes time to build up. Chest area not as hot so antibiotics must be kicking in.
Your other hip prob taking more of your weight if the other ones got arthritis - maybe a good chiro session needed.
I think that after going through cancer - our view of previous things in our life changes - so maybe work isnt as important to you or youve chnaged but it hasnt. Dont beat yourself up about it - make 2009 (year of the Ox) agood one. I am.

Im getting used to this site now.
You got snow? we have makes me laugh how the country grinds to a halt!

take care
leesha