Do what you want for your birthday, not what you think others will want. I don’t think I would have said that before all this, but it has made me more selfish.
I was feeling really low on Tuesday. I went for my line cleaning and the nurses seemed more interested in gossip than me. I went in to work after that, had coffee with a QC who is visiting (and who has invited me to stay at his whilst I am having radiotherapy) and had lunch with a friend, all of which really cheered me up.
My school friends from home (Berkshire) are coming up to see me whilst I’m having rads, 5 of them, so I’m really excited about that, and it makes up for not having seen them this summer.
Have appt with onc today and will tell him I want the last TAX even tho it’s hideous. Feel strangely nervous, I suppose looking towards rads is a new unknown, and having to be away from my family makes it worse.
Enjoy your good week mate, and what a great idea for your daughter’s 16th, fab to have something like that to plan and look forward to.
Had a gtreat meal with friends last night - we all took a course to a friend who had ababy 3 weeks aga and is having rotten time as the ceasar is not healing properly. Shes offf to hospital again on monday to have another operation. Puts things inperspective… so we had a laugh & cuddled baby…
Sounds fun seeing all yr old friends…enjoy it.
I can relate to the nervous bit…i feel abit edgy about last one next friday.
Am off to help with show jumping comp at stables tomorrow - and weather nice what more could i ask for?
Thinking of going to London for my birthday - see a show and whatever…with a few girl friends.
hope u got some nice weather this weekend - it all helps.
Have had a lovely day. Eldest had swimming lesson this morning, and only 3 out of 8 turned up so with 2 teachers it was almost a private lesson, and she did really well. OH took youngest in pool as well. Then , this afternoon cos it was sunny we all went to the beach and had a great time and an ice cream, with 2 sets of friends. The kids spent ages in the water even though it is freezing, they don’t seem to notice.
Also have friend who has just had a baby on Sunday. Went to see her on Monday night in hospital with another girlfriend and felt a little jealous about their normal lives, but it was lovely too and I soon got over it and had a word with myself. After all, with my complete encouragement OH had a vasectomy last year.
Saw the nice onc on Thurs. Am having 6th chemo, again with the reduced dose, and they are going to add intravenous Ranitidine to try to cope with my painful oesophagus. Planning for rads is 6th Oct and start 5 weeks of it on 20th Oct, which will finish on my little one’s 3rd birthday 21st Nov. Have booked a place for the famly to come and stay over there with me for half term, so feel a bit more settled about the whole thing now.
Hope the show jumping is fun. I’ll be watching the big one’s riding lesson tomorrow and will think of you then.
Plenty to see and do in London, but doesn’t really matter where you are with good friends, eh?
show kumping waas great - especially with good weather. Eldest came first jupin 2’9 and youngest came 2nd. So both pleased.
It was nice to see some familier faces and catch up… Feel the beginnings of a cold coming so am desparateky hopeing it wont come to anything…dont want my blood count compromise don weds. The thought of having to postpone treatment is not one i want to have to deal with.
hey ho postivie thoughts only…
glad you have had a really good weekend.
Glad the show jumping was so successful for both your girls, and nice for you too.
Had a great Saturday; today not so good. Eldest fell over the bannister of the stairs on to a stone floor in the hall way, so we have spent 3 hours in A & E as she hit her head and it turns out she has broken the little finger on her right hand. Poor little thing. The number of times we’ve told her about not climbing on the bannister though. OH was really impatient at casualty and blaming her for it being her fault that we were there. Brilliant. The head injury is not serious and she has a special double bandage on her hand.
At least we had a fab Saturday!!
Hope you don’t develop a cold. I had a sore throat a couple of days ago but happily it came to nothing.
Feeling pants from the steroids - oesophagus really hurting, but it’s the last time. TAXOTERE 3 tomorrow if bloods ok.
However, my Mum is in hospital with a heart problem. She already has a pacemaker and it is not stopping her heart from racing, neither is the medication that they are pumping into her. She’s in Berkshire, 1 hour flight or 3hrs ferry +4 hours drive away, so can’t visit her.
Feel like a glass of red but can’t stomach it, even the smell makes me wretch and I’m usually partial to it. My family is certainly getting its money’s worth out of the nhs!!!
Hope you’re ok and haven’t got anything that coudl delay your chemo
Hiya
Mum is out of hospital, and daughter healing well as kids do, hasn’t missed any school either.
Had last chemo yesterday, hooray, but have had terrible oesphagus and didn’t sleep at all last night as couldn’t lay down. Hoping tonight will be better with 6 x usual dose of Omeprazole in me (on Drs advice). Off to bed shortly.
Have had my PICC line out, so will have a real proper shower tomorrow as too knackered tonight. My arm feels light without it, but it was a godsend for me with my terrible veins.
Hope your bloods are ok tomorrow and you can use the mobile unit on Friday.
cold didnt develop thankfully…bloods done 2day (what acaddle nurse couldnt get anything so had to see doc) so 3/4 hr later theres enough to send. Am tired trying to get piles of work done before friday. even worked till midnight last night, but cant keep on doing it. OH hasnt worked 4 3 weeks now. the job booked in has been delayed…just when u dont need to be worrying about finances…So ive got loads of work - shame he cant do it. So ive been niggling at him all week getting annoyed cos he doesnt seem to be doing anything to get other work in…or doing anything useful around the house.like cooking…washing…men!!!
on the bright side - we had a lovely surprise monday morning…we had afoal arrive…it was a wonderful sight…the mare has been hanging on. hes gorgeous…
anyway - triage tmorrow fingers crossed mobile unit.
hope youre feeling bit better…and got some sleep even if doped up.!
must fel nice having line out -
I havent gone off red wine luckily…although guiness is my fave at moment
bye 4 now
Got some sleep last night + felt better today, although now the post-steroid low is kicking in with the TAX aches and pains so am expecting a bad few days, but knowing it’s the last time I have to do this is a big boost.
Can’t wait to fancy a glass of red again!
Good luck tomorrow, and rest cos you need it. You resting might make OH realise that that’s what you need, him to take over and do stuff.
Well thats it =went to mobile unit - had last one - jst this week to get through - got my follow up appoint for end oct .cant believe it really …
had a good nights sleep.
Hope you get to have that glass of red soon.
Had a horrible night + day yesterday, really bad pains,etc etc, but feeling quite a lot better today. Can’t help thinking how differently I’d behave to how OH is if it was him who was undergoing chemo. Hope yours is looking after you whilst you are coming out of the final FEC fog, and that it’s not too bad for you this time.
Are you having rads? I can’t decide where to stay for the last 3 weeks of mine. I could go for a B+B or cottage or hotel, can’t decide which would be least lonely.
OH has taken them both off to eldest’s riding lesson, so will make use of the time and rest now.
Fog lifting - been really tired this time - maybe its that feeling of dont have to battle to the next three weekly appoint? Been bit low yesterday should be feeling glad. weird. Got appoint for rads planning on monday… too soon so i re booked it for the foll week…cant cope with that bit yet.
HArd one having to stay away for rads … a cottage maybe too isolated - B&B or hotel might mean you get company when you want it.
OH def do it diff to how i would… to make amtters harder for us his work has really taken a down turn so that puts financial strain on eveything just when u dont need it. Ivwe got piles of work. Anyway hes applied for a job for the local council as a plasterer - rather than being self employed at least it will be reg money and paid hols.
things will pick up.
the foals great - still got curly ears…doing really well…its lovely to see…hes really friendly too very confident.
hope the pains are easing - hae u managed a good glass of red yet?
I’m really tired too. I suppose we shouldn’t be surprised after 6 cycles of toxic drugs.
I was also feeling low last week. Even though it’s horrid, I felt a bit abandoned by not having chemo anymore and not having my weekly trip to the hospital for line flushing. So, I booked to go on the Younger Women’s Forum to Reading as I think it will help me deal with the psychological effects of the diagnosis, and be a laugh as well. Am really looking forward to it.
Got my rads planning on Monday and have to catch a flight at 0700 so that will be a shock to the system! Am having a CT scan for the tattoos.
Glad your OH has applied for a job; it must be stressful both being self employed.
Have had my planning visit to the UK. Got my tattoos, only 2 which is less than I thought. Am having rads to breast, underarm and collar bone, so thought I’d be a real dot to dot. Had massive nose bleed in the CT scan room.
More scarily, found a lump in left breast (had WLE of r breast), had mammogram today and it is nothing sinister, but was a worrying time even thought I couldn’t have got more cancer whilst having chemo.
Am having 6 weeks rads - 25 to all 3 areas then 5 boosters just to the breast. Am staying with someone I know through work for the 1st week, family over 2nd week as it’s half term, then various friends from home coming up, my parents and an auntie, so hope not ot be too lonely. Have gone for a hotel for last 4 wks as thought self catering would be too lonely and I’d get no dinner in a B+B.
Hope the FEC fog has gone for the last time. Any news on OH’s job application?
Fog def lifted - not tired apart from working tired and not breathless. Finally feeling normal!!!
Rad planning next monday.
That must have been scary finding a lump - im paranoid about it in the other breast…
No news on application …hes got bits of work… I def dont like this full time lark…got work coming out of my ears…
finally penny dropped with OH - he lit fire , cleaned kitchen cooked tea ect yesterday…and guess what found out how to use washing machine my god ive died and gone to heaven…long may it last… so at least i dont have to worry about that for the moment.
Im going to try to find the time to ride at weekend…hope the weathers good… all i seem to do is muck out & feed them the rush to work.
Best of luck with the rads … enjoy seeing everyone.
I did ride - cant believe how nervous i was - rode again yesterday adn was much more relaxed.
Had rads planning yesterday - that was ok.
rads all start next monday until nov 19th.
got my tamoxifen as well so go to start taking that …for 5 years
talking about going onto a trial for the herceptin stage - might manage if lucky to get the arm that takes tablets form of the other drug rather than 3 weekly cycles of herceptin. will decid on monday.
am assuming you in liverpool having rads - so hopefully hear from you when your back
So glad you’re back to riding again, and that the penny has dropped with OH - hope he’s still helping, and you’re not too busy with work.
I’ve had to have 2 planning sessions. Last Monday I had a CT scan and 2 tattoos, yesterday I had to go back, and to my surprise they put a whole load of felt pen on me, then covered it with see-through sticking plaster, none of which I was expecting and I had worn a top that showed a lot of it as it goes to the bottom of my neck and had to fly back with it all showing - wish they’d told me! I was on the simulator machine for over half an hour and my neck was hurting afterwards. I was also knackered from the 5.30am start to get the 7am flight. Starting next Mon, so am trying to get a lot of stuff sorted here before I go, mainly for the kids. I’ll miss them so much. My rads will finish on 28th Nov.
Went to the Younger Women’s forum in Reading on Friday and Saturday and had a brilliant time meeting others in a similar position. Some of the speakers were excellent as well. I did feel a bit guilty about going away so close to my rads but felt psychologically that I needed to go, so I went and am really glad I went. I saw my parents while I was away and they spoke a lot more about me having cancer than when they were here in July. They both said that they would rather it was them than me, which was sweet.
Am still suffering side effects from the horrid taxotere, but I suppose it is only just 3 weeks, today I would have had the next one. Instead, today I start Tamoxifen, so we’ll have to compare notes on any side effects of that.
I don’t know about any herceptin trials. I think they keep even more of an eye on you if you go on a trial. I’m HER- so won’t have to go through that. Let me know how you get on. Are you triple positive?
I’ll have access to the net hopefully for most of the time I’m away and will keep in touch. After the first 2 weekends (when family will be over cos it’s half term) I’ll be home every weekend, so will be checking this thread then.
I know what u mean re the felt pen - i was told it would wash off - Ive washed every day since monday like you do and its still there. Fading but there. Felt a bit like a dot to dot puzzle - also covered in sellotape!!
Know what you mean about the simulator - not the comfyest of positions - although have to say I could have nodded off if they didnt keep coming in and switching off the light moving th emachine etc!! Did have neck ache by the end - 45 mins i was on it they did apologise for the length of time…my consultant got called away on an emergency whilst i was on the machine!!!
First appt MOnday 20th…
So far Tamoxifen ok - struggled to rememebr this morning got to get into the habit. Am hoping for the weight loss side effect …when i read all the possible side effects i did think what am i doing? but i swallowed it anyway.
Looking forward to half term and chilling a bit. only got 2 rads that week.
My youngest is 13 tomorrow - so taking her shopping on Sat. Chocolate cake for tea tomorrow - the girls always ring my mum and request a cake for their b’days. Never ask me…
So it looks like we are starting our rads on the same day. How come you only got 2 rads in half term? I’ll have 5 that week!
I’m taking my Tamoxifen at night, which is what they advise here. I feel a bit sick on it, and stiff like an old lady, but that could just be the Taxotere wearing off still. The Dr who was at the Younger Women’s Forum in Reading (who was fab and really honest) last week said that Tam is a really great drug and for those of us who are ER+ and PR+ it is really well worth taking. There is discussion as to whether 5 years is enough, or whether we ought to have another drug, something like Letrozole, for 5 years afterwards, we are early enough in our Tam for them to have decided what’s best by the time we’ve done our 5 years.
Hope you had a lovely birthday for your daughter - bet you can’t believe she’s a teenager. It’s nice for grandma that they ask her for cake, I guess tehy get your cake all the time.
Well, I’m off across to the UK tomorrow. Hope it’s not as windy as today or my flight my be blown away.
Good luck with your rads mate, and speak to you soon
Kinden
x
Well got the first one over with - bit of nothing really seems wierd that soemthing you cant feel will do some good.
its the drive to cheltenham and back that took the logest - with the roadworks.
Got then to change a load of appoints - cos i had some at 3 & 4 o clock - which meant arrnaging someone else t collect kids
So now they are all in the morning.
Got to go got arguing Kids!!! best of luck with the flight over and rest of treatment.
Leesha