Post surgery blues
Post surgery blues I know this sounds funny but the only way I can describe how I’m feeling at the moment is very very sad. I had my mastectomy with a tissue expander reconstruction on the 5th March and no further treatment required and initially felt ok but now I’m struggling. I don’t know whether it is just normal having gone through the whirlwind of being diagnosed followed by two operations to feel like this or if it is a side effect of tamoxifen? My husband who was great all the way through is now finding it difficult to deal with how I am feeling as he just keeps saying that the cancer has gone and I should be feeling happy now, which I know is true but I just can’t seem to manage to cheer myself up. He keeps on saying maybe I should arrange to talk to someone but I just don’t know what to do. My breast care nurse is brilliant but she is away now for two weeks and I am starting to feel very alone with my feelings.
Dear Debbie I am sorry to read that you are feeling this way at the moment, Breast Cancer Care’s ‘Peer Support’ may be of interest to you. You can be put in touch with someone, by telephone, who has had similar experiences so has an understanding of how you are feeling and is trained to offer support and a ‘listening ear’.
The link to find out more about this service is: breastcancercare.org.uk/content.php?page_id=4438
If you feel able to contact our helpline on 0808 800 6000 our helpliners will be happy to talk to you about other ways of gaining support too, for example we run regular telephone support groups and live chats weekly via the website. More details on our support services are available via the ‘Support for you’ link on the left hand side of this page.
I hope you find this helpful.
Kind regards
Forum Host
Breast Cancer Care
Hi Debbie
I think everyone who has experienced BC knows how you feel. I had a mastectomy and DIEP reconstruction in July and 5-6 weeks after the op I went through feelings of being very down and this is very normal after treament has finished. The people we love want all this to be over for us but once you have had a diagnosis of cancer, invasive or non invasive, it will always be in the back of your mind that it may come back and then there are the changes in your body to come to terms with, the effect it has had on your family etc… When your breast care nurse comes back maybe you could consider asking her about counselling or go to your GP and see if he/she can arrange anything. You have had to come to terms with your own mortality and your husband will have to understand that this is something you do not just get over.
Take care of yourself. You are not alone in this.
Love
Beverley
My sister and I are struggling too My sister and I were diagnosed with bc just 2 days apart in July 06. I had found a lump which turned out to be a cyst but there was a lump hiding under it. I had mastectomy and 11 nodes removed-1 bad one. I then had chemo, radiotherapy and have been on Tamoxifen since treatment finished this March. My sister’s was found as she had just turned 50 and had the screening-thank god. She had to have a mastectomy too but needed no further treatment so opted for the tissue expander reconstruction at the same time. She didn’t get to speak with an oncologist or have much contact with her bc nurse.we are both incredibly lost, neither of us can believe what has happened over the last few months, I wanted to be her so I could have the reconstruction and not the treatment and she wanted to be me to have the treatment-just in case. People say we are very lucky to have had each other to cling to. My hair is about an inch long now and I’ve started back to work, just 2 hours daily which has knocked me out, my sister is nowhere near ready to face work, she is going through a divorce after 30 years of marriage, bc made her realise there was more to life then another 30 unhappy years. Our mum died at the end of 05, I’m glad that she wasn’t here to go through this with us but how I wish for her arms around me just now.
My partner of 2 years is brilliant and understanding but like your husband wants me to be happy now the cancer has gone-oh if it were so simple
I’m sorry, I have gone on but its good to get it on paper, We just need to talk and talk and talk until there are no words left…forever seeking answers.
Please be gentle with yourself, its very early days yet but try and get to talk with someone from breastcancer care, They will put you in touch with someone who has had the same type of cancer, same treatment and close to the same age as yourself, it does help a lot
xx
post-op blues just logged on to see how everyone was…but i’m having a blue day too and i guess sometimes i just do. i tend to get caught up in trying to analyse it rather than just accept that some days i feel a bit low and lost and need to take special care of myself. i’m six months post-op and back to “normal” in most respects…but i’m supposed to be going back to work next week and i’m dreading it, even though i’ll be very part-time at first. i spoke to the guy who’s supposed to be organising my “induction” and he’s really chaotic so he’s not even going to be there…also i don’t know whether he knows why i’ve been off so long and i really don’t want to have to explain it all to someone i don’t know. my cancer happened after i’d lost both my parents and both my aunts within two years, the loss of a breast as well seemed almost unbearable…so i suppose it’s not surprising that every so often i just get hit by a huge wave of grief. my physical scars still hurt a bit, so why shouldn’t the emotional ones hurt a bit too? - although with nothing like the same intensity as in the beginning. i also need to just ignore other people’s opinions on how i “should” be feeling or acting…they haven’t been through what i’ve been through, so they don’t know. anyway…hang in there…maybe i’ll go for a swim or work in the garden, it’s lovely to see all the flowers bursting out…