I had my single mastectomy on Monday (10/02/20) I came home yesterday. Still trying to figure out how you sleep with the drain attached. I opted for the mastectomy as the biopsies were inconclusive as to where else it was in the breast and it had already spread to my lymphnodes. After already agonising over test results I couldn’t bear to have a lumpectomy and then be worrying if it was elsewhere so hence the mastectomy. The consultant was pleased with my decision and I was hanging on to the words he used that I would be ‘cancer free’ by having a mastectomy. When the consultant came to see me after the surgery he said I had made the right decision as my lymphnodes were very big. He then preceded to say I will need an xray of my neck to see if it has moved there due to the condition of the lymphnodes. I now feel back to square one again with uncertainty as I have to wait for more results. I thought the mastectomy would have helped me move on but I feel my world has crashed again. I know it may all be ok but after making the decision to have a mastectomy I was fixed on the fact that was it gone. Sorry to rant on, my emotions are all over the place. Love to all who are going through their own journey with cancer♥️
Hi MM
I really feel for you. I’m afraid there are no certainties once you step into the world of breast cancer. You may feel you’re going round and round in circles but it’s all bearable, honestly. Like you, I opted for a mastectomy - it felt like a no-brainer. I’d had a clear mammogram but had a couple of tiny bumps on my nipple. No one was unduly concerned, nothing showed up on ultrasound then, wham, I had breast cancer and the bumps were a breakout of something much worse. It’s a hell of a shock to go from ‘nothing to worry about’ to a positive diagnosis isn’t it! So the option of a partial mastectomy was removed and the possibility of radiotherapy was added. It just grew from there…
Surgeons are able to say you are cancer-free once all the offending tissue is removed and your margins are clear. However, cancer is an insidious disease and can’t always be seen with scans, let alone the naked eye. If it’s any consolation, I had a CT scan after surgery because 19 of the 21 nodes removed in the axillary clearance were infected. It revealed no further signs of BC but some enlarged lymph nodes in my central breast muscle. These were never mentioned again and, when I asked the oncologist, she just dismissed them out of hand as irrelevant. However, anything out of the normal needs to be checked further so your treatment plan covers all bases. I hope your results are encouraging and you need no further treatment but you just have to wait it out and, meantime, work on maintaining or strengthening your emotional health. While you’re fighting with the drain, lie back and tune into Youtube videos (I found Progressive Hypnosis’s Manifest Healing and some of the Michael Sealey things got me through). Relax your mind, even if it’s just for brief periods because this is a very worrying time. Steer clear of Google, no matter how desperately you want information. Ring your breast care nurse or the nurses here, who are wonderfully reassuring and knowledgeable.
As regards the drain, I found I just had to get used to lying and sleeping on my back. I’d always curled on my side so I propped my whole arm up on a pillow and this prevented me rolling onto the drain. You can buy mastectomy pillows but I only found that out long after. You’ll probably need to sleep on your back till you’ve healed so it’s worth starting now and getting used to it. Hopefully others will come up with alternative suggestions but it’s only for a few days, then it’s out. For me the greater challenge was how to go to the loo - the cistern was too far away to prop the bottle on, as was the bathroom storage. I ended up sitting sideways! I didn’t know there were carry bags to improve mobility so I just rode out the nuisance.
Good luck with the results. We’re always here with a sympathetic ear/eye and there’s a wealth of experience to draw upon. Hopefully you won’t need much more.
Jan (now declared completely clear, last Friday) x
PS. Do those exercises, They are absolutely essential.