Pregnant and struggling with bras and thoughts.

Hi, I hope this is the right section of the forum for this if not admin please move it across.

I am 4 and a half years post bc and after 3 years of trying finally we are pregnant. This is my 3rd baby and my husband’s 1st (and last due to finance and terrible sickness). Although this is exciting and what we wanted I am struggling with a few things.

First the easier one that I am hoping someone might have a suggestion for. After having a mx left side I obviously only have one side growing in the pregnancy. The bc clinic can help with prosthetics to even things up along the way and later back down again but… with the current lockdown and the shops being shut I am at a complete loss on how to work out what size bra to order. I am bursting out the right side and can’t measure in the way that I could before mx. I can measure under bust but over. How do I work out what cup size to go for? All this would be so much easier if the virus hadn’t shown up and the fitting services were still running or even the changing rooms open. I have left it as long as I could hoping that by the time I needed one it would be a bit safer out. Any suggestions and thoughts much appreciated.

Second thing is nightmares. I know that the ultrasound scans have moved into the downstairs of my local breast clinic as it is a satellite building and safer away from the main hospital. Since I found out and as it gets closer to the scan on 26th May I am getting more and more nightmares. The letter says I have to go on my own. My husband is not allowed due to covid-19 restrictions. This is all well and good but in one of those rooms downstairs was where I was having a biopsy on the cyst and subsequently the lump that was found behind it by ultrasound. That was the moment, before they had even confirmed it, that I knew I had bc. I am now absolutely terrified of going in that room again all on my own. I was on my own when they found the lump deep by the chest wall as I thought it was just a cyst drain like the 2 times before. I am terrified that if I go in on my own, like in my dreams, they will tell me something is drastically wrong with the baby or that there is a cancer there or that I have to terminate to save my own life or something drastic like that. The dreams are getting worse and there is nothing I can do about it. I know it would just be so much easier with my husband there holding my hand for moral support but I know they will be strict with the covid-19 rules they have in place.

I don’t know what to do about either but I think the bra issue might be easier for you all to help out with. On the second one I just wondered if anyone else has had similar experiences pregnant or not. I would talk to my husband about my anxieties but he is suffering so badly with his ASD anxiety and his boss wanting him to return to work 1st June at the school that I don’t want to tell him my anxieties and add to his. He’s suffering enough at the moment as it is. That’s why I thought I would air on here with people who have been through it. 


Red Robin

Well called the number on the ultrasound letter and basically there is nothing they can do nor suggest. I don’t know if I can go through with the 12wk scan as it brings back all the memories of the ultrasound which found the lump and the biopsy and knowing it was cancer. Too many negative associations with that room and I know it is for a positive reason but I can’t get over this emotional wall in my head.

Still no luck working out how to measure/fit a bra when one side is growing and the other not. Would be so much easier with M and S fitting service but it isn’t on.

Hi Red Robin,

Congratulations on your pregnancy and I hope all goes well for you and your husband. I just saw you message as I was on my computer as I couldn’t sleep. Sorry that going for your 12 week scan is raising all this anxiety for you. I haven’t been through the same experience as you have re pregnancy after breast cancer - my experience was the other way round and I had a lumpectomy.  May be you could ring or email the “Someone like me” on here if it is operating.

It’s a tough time for you both anyhow without all this Covid business. Being pregnant is worrying enough without all the extras thrown in. It’s a shame he’s missing seeing his 1st baby’s scan as well. Is your husband  travelling with you to the hospital even though he can’t go in there? He could be with you on your mobile, if reception is good enough, while you wait and if possible while they do the scan? This time you’re having an ultrasound for a lovely reason, it could lessen the terrible effect that your last trip there had on you. Maybe this time you will come out relieved and your trauma will has eased a little. Look after yourself - it’s hard when you need support and you are protecting and supporting your husband with his ASD related anxieties, as well as looking after your other two children. 

Wishing you both well and will be thinking of you on 26th.