Pregnant!!

Connect to people like me Pregnancy and children
21

Hi bikerbabe

I was 15 weeks pregnant whan i was diagnosed grade 3 aggressive cancer and was advised to think about a termination, as i was into the 2nd trimester i decided against it and underwent surgery and chemo while i was pregnant followed by radiotherapy after my son was born. My son is now 3 1/2 years old and about to start pre school.
I had a reccurance 10 months after he was born in the lymph nodes in my neck and clavicle which was treated with chemo and rads and now on letrizole and zolodex and touch wood i have been fine since.
I made the right decision for me and have never regretted it but you have to decide what is right for you.

Wishing you all the best
Good luck with whatever you decide

Jamevaxxxx

22

Hi bikerbabe, when I was going through treatment last year there was a lady who was pregnant, she was about half way through the pregnancy when the cancer was discovered (sorry don’t know when the trimesters are!) she was treated with chemo, and post treatment had a healthy baby boy. It would seem there are options for you.

Very best of luck in making your decision.

Nikki

23

Good Luck whatever your decision is. Love and hugs.
Marion.

24

Hello everyone. I’ve had my termination and regretted it ever since i had it done. I know that i can’t go back and change things now but i feel so guilty and empty. Starting my chemo on wednesday so maybe once i start feeling like rubbish, i’ll have a change of heart and realise i made the right decision. I’m sure the pain and guilt i feel will gradually fade over time, but it will never go away and i’ll always wonder what if. Thanks for all your support and i’ll keep you informed to let you all know how i get on on wednesday.
Bikerbabe
xx

25

Hi Bikerbabe,

Just wanted to say that I really feel for you and there is no way you should be feeling guilty! Hope you start to feel better soon

xx

26

Thanks Tilly. It’s just my emotions going in to hyperdrive. I’m sure i’ll get there eventually.

27

Hi Bikerbabe,
I feel for you also. For every Chemo while pregnant story on here with a good ending, there will also be lots with sad endings too. I think that you made the right choice, there could be lots more babies but you have only one life.

I was young (39) when I had chemo and tolerated It quite well. I felt quite bad for a couple of days and then ok just a bit nausea and a bit tired. I still did everything I did before with not much help. So you will get through it.

Best of luck with everything.
love Andrea xx

28

Thanks Andrea. I’m terrified, but i’m sure i’ll cope. Everyone keeps telling me how brave i’m being but i don’t think i am. Ever since i was diagnosed, i’ve just done exactly what i was told to do and tried to get through it the best way i can. Which isn’t to say that i didn’t have more than a few fits of bursting in to uncontrollable tears!
Unfortunately, because my cancer is affected by my hormone estrogen, i won’t ever be able to have any more babies. Which is why i’m feeling the way i am at the moment.
I’m sure there has to be a light at the end of this tunnel somewhere for me.
Thanks again for your support
Bikerbabe
xx

29

Oh honey, I am so sorry that this hateful disease put you in such an awful position. You have done what you felt was right and while it is inevitable that you question it and doubt yourself, you did what you had to do, and no one and nothing could have made this better for you. My heart goes out to you and sending you {{{hugs}}}

Hope the chemo goes as well as it can, often the fear of the unknown is way worse than the actual, and we all deal with chemo in very different ways. People often call us ‘brave’ but I dont feel it either, brave is when you have a choice in facing something, we were not given a choice, just a fait accompli, and deal with it we must as best we can. However, how we deal with it is up to us, and to be alive, despite what this is doing to me, is for me something to be grateful for every single day and I find happiness in such simple things these days, but yes, I cry also.

Having been through chemo once, the only thing I can say is that there is sunshine after the rain, and the world does get a better place eventually. Give yourself time, rest and don’t ever be scared to say ‘i feel sick’ or ‘it hurts’ we do not need to be heroes in this.

Good luck
Nikki

30

Hi Nikki, Thanks for all your kind words and support. Just reading your message had me bursting in to tears! I can’t believe how much i’m crying these days. I’ve never cried as much as i have since being diagnosed!
Bikerbabe

31

Hi Bikerbabe
Just saw your post on another thread so did a search and read your story. I am sooo sorry you have had to go through all this on top of everything else and there’s absolutely nothing wrong with crying. I really don’t know what to say to you to make everything alright for you chuck - I too am in tears after reading Nikki’s wonderful post and I echo everything she’s said.
Just want to say I’m thinking about you and sending you loads of huge big hugs and we are all here for you.
Loads of love and strength to you Julie
Sue x

32

Thanks Sue. Your support means a lot to me. I know my termination probably was for the bes but i can’t reaaly see that at the moment. All i keep thinking is that i’ve made a dreadful mistake and wish i could go back and undo all i’ve done! But that’s just wishful thinking. I know i have to accept it and move on and maybe one day i’ll get there but i have a long way to go before that happens.
Thanks again Sue
Bikerbabe
xx

33

Hi Bikerbabe,
Im sending you my support and anyone else who has had to go through this, it is really a difficult decision to make, one i had to make also. Somehow you,ll find the strength to cope and if you feel the tears coming on let them flow it is natural and will help you.
Love Reneexx

34

Hello bikerbabe

I’ve only just found this thread, but I had to answer you, as I have been through exactly the same and I know how you feel.

I was diagnosed in Sep 07, at 36, and found out I was pregnant about 10 days later, I was only 4 weeks (just missed my period). From the word go I knew my cancer was bad, my oncologist had me have every test and scan under the sun as they thought it had already spread, but luckily it had not. But it was a grade 3, her2 positive, hormone negative cancer, 4cm lump with a 2cm lump in lymphnodes.

When I found out I was pregnant the world collapsed on me, we had been trying for a few months but I’d never have thought I’d get pregnant just then!

Unfortunately I did not have much emotional support in my decision, as all my oncologists said was “would you be against the idea of a termination?”, when I said no, they just assumed I’d have one and explained how I couldn’t afford to wait any longer, that I would have a different type of chemo while pregnant to what they intended for me etc etc. It was a very confusing time, but I was so scared of dying and not being there for my 2 daughters, who were 3 and 6 at the time, that a termination seemed the only possible solution. I felt I had to think about them too.
With hindsight it was the right decision for me, I was able to have presurgery chemo and see that it was working, and by the time I had surgery I was NED, and the pathology report confirmed that. I couldn’t have had a better response.
It kind of makes up for the sacrifice that I made, even though I still miss that baby, and the day of the termination remains the most horrible day of my life, it was a very much wanted baby and words can’t describe the way I felt going through with it.
The thought of one day having another baby and seeing my two daughters grow up helped me through chemo, surgery and rads, but then when I asked how long did I need to wait before I could plan another pregnancy I got a very different answer from what I expected:

“minimum of 3 years, even better 5, but ideally never again”

I still the risk of recurrence will always be significant with me, and the risk of being pregnant again and diagnosed with a recurrence doesn’t even bear thinking for me. Needless to say this was devastating news, and I’m still trying to come to terms with them.

Sorry If I’ve been a bit long, but I thought you might want to know you are not alone, at the time I felt like everyone else I could see on several websites were encouraged to have their babies, so I felt cheated, but in the end I think it was right.

I hope you found my story uself somehow, I wish I knew what to say to make you feel better, but I know it’s not possible, and only time will help you. I try to feel blessed for my two wonderful daughters, and enjoy every moment I have with them, knowing they are so precious.

I wish you the ebst of luck with your chemo and treatment, and send you a big hug.

sorry again for the long post

35

Hi webmum. Thanks for your support and yes the long story did help a lot. My cancer is grade 3, hormone positive, the lump was 25mm and i did have cancerous lymph nodes. Out of 25 they took out, 17 of them were positive.
My onclogist said right from the start that pregnancy for me would be a disaster and he wanted me to have a termination immediately. He didn’t even ask if i would be willing to have a termination, he just told me to have one.
Most websites and forums i went on advised me not to continue with the pregnancy.
I’m sure with time i’ll start the healing process but at the moment it’s still too raw.
Thanks again
Bikerbabe
xx

36

Hi, I’m currently having chemo and am 27 weeks pregnant. Started chemo at 25 weeks. What were u advised by royal marsden and who was the oncologist?