Prostheses? thanks but no thanks.
Prostheses? thanks but no thanks. I realise I am likely in a small minority but there must be others like myself who, having had a bilateral mastectomy, opt to do without the whole false bosom scenario.
Perhaps my age, 63, has something to do with it but my view is that how I look is now my normal. I am not at all an ‘in your face’ person but if it upsets anyone’s sensibilities that is their problem, not mine. Within a few weeks, now at 3 mth stage, I had got used to the comfort of strappy or vest tops.
I was ‘persuaded’ to have a bra with prostheses by my Breast Care Nurse and I felt I ought to have one in case I need to attend some social function that calls for dressing up a bit.
I must admit the day I went for the fitting it was very hot and I was tired after a morning hospital appointment and a lot of hanging around so I ended up choosing a soft but innocuous bra just to end the consultation. I collected this a few weeks ago and I now have a neat A-cup bra if I should ever want one. However apart from showing my husband I have not had bra or prostheses out of their boxes.
The other thing is I had not been happy with the size of my breasts for something like 20 yrs. I always thought if I won big on the lottery I would have them reduced by cosmetic surgery. LOL! teach me to be careful what I wish for.
btw: husband says we can now get closer in a hug 
I just realised this should probably be in the chit-chat forum. Would a mod please move it for me? Thanks.
Good for you I have very mixed feelings myself about the whole false breast thing (whether prosthesis or reconstruction. ) My views probably influenced by Audre Lorde (black American feminist) who wrote in the 80s about the tyranny of prostheses.
In practice though I think how our breasts look is very tied up with complex issues of self esteem…everyone’s different (though how we feel is influenced by subliminal messages abut how breasts supposed to look) and personal choice does matter.
I think if I’d had a double matectomy I might go wthout a prosthesis but I’ve just had one and don’t want to look lopsided so I do usually wear a prosthesis (which I find comfortable). I’ve never considered reconstruction. I’m 57.
very best wishes
Jane
moving post Hi Keruval
As Jane has replied to this already I think it is probably better to leave it here.
Hope that is okay with you
Moderator
Breast Cancer Care
It only applies to the case of a bilateral mastectomy, I certainly would have had to have a prosthesis or a reconstruction if only the affected breast had been removed.
However I had ILC and the incidence of later occurrence in the 2nd breast is such that they told me about the bilateral in a way that almost recommended it. The results of the biopsy on the tumour certainly led the oncologist to tell me I had made the right decision.
I am not too interested in fashion as such, and prefer classic style clothes for best and comfort for round the home. Clean and neat and tidy is enough 
I will go and look up the reference you gave, it sounds interesting. As I tell my family, my personality is my heart and my mind and my character, not my figure.
a bit late but just wanted to add I read with great interest your views on prosthetics.
When disgnosed with bc in feb 06 my biggest grief re mastectomy was being uneven and I asked about bilateral mastectomy to overcome this huge concern. I too was not keen on a prosthesis but the thought of being lopsided was too much to bear. I was offered immediate reconstruction and felt that it was my best option under the circumstances. After much pain and more than a few doubts re my decision during my recovery from surgery I now feel I made the right decision for me.
It’s such a personal issue and entirely down to the individuals feelings. I’m not sure if my self esteem was involved, more my concept of myself as a woman and the ability to return to what i consider ‘normality’. a prothesis to me would have been a daily reminder of my loss - not that I can forget my new situation. I have been given a prosthesis whilst having my implant expanded but have not used it and despite being uneven I have coped with this without feeling I have to worry about how people see me.I agree that this is not my problem but that of the person looking at me. Just wanted to put the viewpoint of one who has chosen to go down the recon route. I’m 42 and I’m sure that made a difference to my choices. Planning to be around for a long time yet.
It’s good to hear that whatever our choices we come to terms with our decisions ( they were so hard to make).
With much love and respect.
Lynwyn x x x
I agree! Hi Keruval,
I feel as if I could have written your post! I am in a slightly different position though as I has a bilateral mastectomy more recently (2 weeks ago). (Also I am 40). I too had large breasts (E cup) and wondered how I would cope looking so different. I’m pleased to say that it hasn’t bothered me at all, and I think my attitude has influenced my family and friends too. They seem to be getting used to me flat-chested. It is great not to bother with a bra and the softees they gave me in hospital are still in the bag. I think I’ll go along to the prostheses BCN too and have one for “special occasions”. It does seem to be unusual though as most of the hospital staff have asked me when I’ll consider reconstruction. btw: my hubby feels the same
Hiya,
I really understand how you feel.
With one breast removed it’s the lop-sided look that’s awful rather than the absence of breast. I hate the idea of the prosthesis but, without the balance, I look as though I’m walking sideways! Strangely, my normal breast is the side that doesn’t seem to look quite right.
Know what you mean by being careful what you wish for. I often fantasised about having time off work when I might feel a little fragile but now too ill to prevent me appreciating having time at home. The last four weeks since my mastectomy has handed me that with knobs on. Well, with one knob on anyway.
Ginny
Flat chested? I was very interested in this subject, I had a bi-lat mastectomy 4 years ago and I do use the breast forms. Although it feels lovely to take them off at night I really dont think I could go without in the day.
For a start I am not flat chested, I am concave!! And not equally concave at that, so clothes would look very strange indeed.
I think the biggest surprise for me was the shape after surgery, I just expected the breasts to be gone and a smooth chest left, but perhaps I was a weird shape before the op I dont know.
just a thought hi all,
i have been reading this thread and intruiged! i’m 30 and having a right mastectomy in a couple of weeks, but i’m having immediate reconstruction. i was petrified of waking up with nothing. i would hate to offend anyone but i could’nt bear the thought of using a prosthesis too, i feel that it would be a constant reminder of such a sad time in my life! i have been thinking recently why some women dont have reconstruction as it is so good now? i’m not vain but i do like my clothes and i thought it must be difficult to get a good fit with certain items.
its just a thought
Claire xxx
It’s not always an option Claire. I was advised to have a mastectomy rather than try for a lumpectomy, and also that I would need to start chemo ‘as soon as possible’.
For whatever reason, my consultant - who I would trust implicitly - said most definitely he would not be prepared to do a reconstruction at the same time. I suspect he know a bit more than he was letting on and this was maybe because I’d have had to wait a bit longer before the operation. It is of course always an open option at any time later on.
After the op he told me there was no chance I’d have been able to ahve just the lumpectomy anyway.
And yes, I do hate having nothing there. I can’t handle not wearing my bra and ‘comfy’ even if I’m at home alone. And I did try, because my skin is really sore from dressings. But with it in, whenever I glance down there is no screaming reminder. And with one side 34dd and the other side nothing, it really does scream.
Undressed, whether you’ve lost one or two you have the screaming reminder anyway.
I can quite understand not bothering with the prostheses when there’s no need to match up.
However, at the same time, I’ve been thinking about asking to have the other one removed as well. Partly because it’s the one that’s left that had always had suspect bits on mammograms, but largely because then I could go braless, or wear croptops, and choose what size to be.
But then quite apart from the visual shock there is the absence of physical feeling to deal with as well.
But It seems there’s not a lot of choice for 34dd even from companies specialising in mastectomy bras, etc.
It’s not a decision I’m about to make in a hurry - I’ve 6 months of chemo then radiotherapy to get through yet.
I may get used to it; I may decide to ask for reconstruction; I may pluck up the courage to have a second removal. But none of those options will bring back the body and the breast I’ve lost.
I do know it was the only way. I just need time to learn to live with it.
Di
x
individual choice I had a mastectomy without recon for several reasons.First I would have had to wait a month for recon and I wanted this thing out of me as soon as poss. Every day I waited I imagined it spreading. Plus the pictures I’d seen of recon were not very reassuring. I didn’t want a WLE as the women I’d seen who’d had that looked lopsided and I was worried that they wouldn’t get it all out.So I opted for mastectomy and prosthesis as I’m 38D, but I agree that if I had bilateral or was smaller I wouldn’t have had a prosthesis.All I’m trying to say is that whatever decision you make it is right for you it’s individual choice
hi i do understand,
i have worried too about it spreading during the time i’ve had to wait and i voiced this concern to my consultant who seems confident that as i’m having a mastectomy that it will all get cleared, but you never know and i think for all of us who have had bc will always worry that it will pop its head up again at some point.
Because they seems to think that my cancer is genetic, i may well have the other breast removed, but at this present time the surgeon wants to deal with the one with the tumour, have to wait and see!
I think what you’ve said about getting used to it makes sense, i think that no matter what we have done reconstruction or not, the scars and memories will always be there everyday. i dont think i’ll be happy with mine after the surgery but i need to get my head around it and get used to it. none of us will feel our bodys will ever be the same again
Di, i hope everything goes well for you and you can always give me a shout to see how my reconstruction goes!
i hope i have’nt caused any offence to anybody with my thoughts and comments, like you’ve said, its all individual preference
Claire xx
No prosthesis for me either I couldn’t agree more with you Keruval. I too feel very comfortable with my flat chest. If I am going out and the outfit calls for a bit of shape then I will wear one of my collection of false boobs but I would rather not and although I have spent a small fortune on bras all they do is sit in the draw most of the time. I wasn’t very big anyway and am quite slim on my top half so it doesn’t look bad at all. The stupid thing is that when I run I always think my boobs are bouncing!!! It feels really unnatural for me to wear a bra now and after the surgery 16 months ago it felt natural to be flat straight away and I never had a problem with the scars or anything. The thing that really annoys me is that people assume I will be going for reconstruction and one day someone will get a smack in the mouth for just asking that question. Must be the Tamoxifen making me aggresive and easily annoyed!! It’s great to hear you feel it’s the best option aswell although I know it’s not for everybody but sometimes I wonder if the ladies that aren’t comfortable being lopsided would be better and happier with a bilateral mastectomy. I try to tell people that I’ve not yet reached puberty but they look at the wrinkles and find that hard to believe!! All the best, Beryl
In defence of prostheses, wigs…and false teeth Is there just a little bit of anti prosthesis prejudice creeping into this thread? I don’t want to look lopsided and neither do I at the moment want a seocond matsectomy (I would have one if I thought I had a significant risk of primary in other breast…but otherwise don’t want more surgery…i’m more at risk of secondaries than a second primary.). I don’t want reconstruction…but am perfectly happy to wear a prosethesis…mine is light, trouble free, and looks just fine.
During chemo I liked my wig too…though it was hard to find a short haired one…and I still get annoyed when people think my choice of short hair now is something to do with having had chemo and my hair not having grown
I don’t yet have false teeth…just a mouthful of dodgy crowns…but I reckon my time for false teeth may come.
I think prostheses, wigs and false teeth all get a bad press…but all can be pretty wonderful for those who want or need them.
Jane
Hi
I have been away for a few days, my first venture away from home since my op at the end of April - and I managed so now I can plan to go see my sisters at the other side of the country
No prejudice against protheses or reconstruction and certainly if only one breast involved you need something, if only to avoid the lop-sided look. I said at the very beginning it was only due to the bilateral mastectomy but I think I had already decided on the ‘no prostheses’ look as soon as the bilateral decision was made.
I started the topic because I had seen nothing on this view of managing.
And it is very much a case of self-image. If you are into fashion - well you need to be skinny - but not that shape My own self-image does not involve being fashionable but I realise how important it is to others. I am retired, I no longer need the power dressing for work and we have a very limited social circle. Even before the op, comfort was the order of the day.
My sister is going through her 2nd attack of Birkett’s lymphona and she decided each time not to have a wig but has some pretty scarves and close-fitting hats. Me? well in that situation I might just try a long hair wig.
joy of reconstruction Hi
I am surprised that no one has mentioned discomfort after mastectomy. I had mine in 1994 and waited a year for my expander type reconstruction as I had had a lumpectomy, segmentectomy and finally the mastectomy so I had had enough of operations for the time being.
I found that, not having a breast, it was quite uncomfortable to lie on my front in bed as I missed the cushioning effect and lying on just my ribs was awkward. I was not large, mine were only A cup (B on a good day). I did, however, have time to get used to the new me and I think that was important for my mental adjustment over losing a breast.
When I did finally get round to having the reconstruction I opted for the expander method and have been pleased with the results however, when I went for my consultation I told the plastic surgeon that I realised that my new silicon boob would be more ‘pert’ than my remaining one and suggested that he gave me a boob job on the other at the same time - he agreed!!
Then came the funny part, he asked what size he wanted me to be (having always been small I was tempted to go for BIG - but resisted). I settled on a nice 34C. When I was measured for my first bra I got a shock - I was a 32D!!
I am really pleased with my ‘decolletage’ - it is great to have boobs (and on the NHS too). This disease has taken so much from me (I have secondaries and all that to cope with) but I can get pleasure from the way I now look.
This sounds so shallow from a retired academic with very little interest in fashion, but so be it.
Now about nipple reconstruction … I didn’t bother but let’s extend this debate!!
Your unapologetically
Blondie
hi blondie hello,
Just to say i too am having a boob job on the nhs!! booked in for 5th sept for my mastectomy and reconstruction and having augmentation on my good side!! i have too only asked to go up 1 cup size to a C cup and my consultant has said he cant guarentee what size i will be, better be prepared eh!
Nipple reconstruction?? definatley! my mum had hers done and it looks great, she also said that when she looks in the mirror she feels a woman again! Bless! cant wait to have mine done too, its a shame its not done at the same time, never mind
Claire xxx
nipple reconstruction Hi Clopickett
All the best for the 5th! Sorry to be nosey but what method of nipple reconstruction did your mother go for? It is 10 years since I investigated this and so I am a probably out of date as to methods. I have a specially modeled and hand painted silicone ‘stick on’ nipple that would fool most people and i am content with that.
Blondie