Just diagnosed. 2 weeks to surgery. Initial diagnosis, 2 lesions left breast only, invasive and also in situ, breast conservation, sentinel node dissection - a shock but all understood. 2nd diagnosis after MRI, more ultrasounds and biopsies - encapsulated papillary cancer right breast., lumpectomy needed. Left breast - complex said surgeon, breast conservation likely to give a very poor result due to my saggy large breasts (ptosis). Agreed to mastectomy if that the best clinical option. Didn’t even think to ask about scarring, how flat? Knew nothing about complications such as ‘dogs ears’ or what I would look like with no breast one side and large breast on other. Now thinking should I ask for mastectomy to both to achieve symmetry? Have been obese most of my life, now feeling great having lost 7 stone and looking good. Bust my best asset, now about to lose half of it/all of it. Don’t want the risks of reconstruction but don’t know what effect will be physically and mentally on any option. Am facing biggest decision of my life in next few days and life changing result of that in a few days time. Every question that occurs spawns 20 more. Some postings here are inspirational, some are unthinkably scary and leave me more confused. Have asked to speak to my surgeon again but still don’t really know what to ask for.
Dear mhilda, i am sorry that you find yourself here with big decisions to make. Do look up the charity Flat Friends if you havent done so already. I had left mastectomy with flat closure sept 23. I thought i would freak out but actually found it far less traumatic than losing my hair. I now wear a prosthetic in my bra and it looks ok. Ask to see some photos of your surgeons work, also the shape and size of the incision. There are also photos on the Flat Friends website. I asked if my SLNB could be done through the same single incision as my mastectomy and it was. Btw i elected for mastectomy as preferred no breast to a deformed one, wanted to reduce risk of further ops, and wanted to avoid radiotherapy. If you are left with dog ears they can be removed later with minor surgery. I wish you well and a swift recovery from your op whatever you finally choose. You will know when you have made the right decision for you as you will feel at peace in your heart. Love Tulip x
Hi mhilda. Sorry that you find yourself having to make a very difficult decision.
I was also given options and it was probably the most difficult decision that I have ever had to face. It went round and around in my head. I am a complicated case as well with the team admitting that even after 2 excisions, each time histology finding more disease, they don’t really know what is going on in my breast. My surgeon gave me time to think about it and do some research, then arranged another appointment to answer any outstanding concerns and arrange a date for surgery.
I called the nurses on here who were great in talking me through the options and my concerns and things to consider. I’m also part of a Breast cancer support group at Maggies so talked with the facilitator of the group there. Information on here is great - the nurses will point you to those. As Tulip29 said Flat Friends are amazing. My BCN was great as well. Maggie’s suggested breaking it down into manageable pieces like what is my greatest concern about each option and to work through that and what I would be most comfortable living with.
When I had all the information I did a pros and cons list which came down heavily on the side of mastectomy without reconstruction. I have my surgery on 15th April.
I’m still freaking out and I will probably never be sure that my decision was right, but I am satisfied that my decision is the right one for me at this time and that’s all we can hope for. We are all different and we can only go by what is right for us at the time.
While I’m sure you want the surgery asap if you are not ready to make that decision it might be worth asking for more time or another appointment with your team. I wanted to be sure that I had all the facts so in the future I wouldn’t regret my decision but again we are all different in what we need to know. It was only 2 weeks between my appointments and another 3 weeks to surgery so it didn’t delay things too much.
Wishing you well in whatever decision you make. Sending a huge virtual hug.
What a wave of warmth is washing over me with your reply. You have provided comfort and knowledge at the same time. I am writing down all the nuggets of information I find so can do more research or ask my breast team about it. I feel like you in not wanting reconstruction, also wanting to minimise any complications (though can see from other postings that some ladies still have them whatever they do and have to cope with trauma after trauma). Though normally very private about personal matters, I am being very open with family and friends, colleagues etc, both male and female, as most realised very quickly that my sudden absences from various commitments and activities meant something was wrong. The response has been amazing, though too many women and men have been through something similar and very feel helpless in watching their loved one going through so much. My male friends have been very open about their experiences too which is a healthy change. A visit to my dentist yesterday to ensure things were ok on that front resulted in advice about some chemo drugs and the very serious implications for future dentistry. Some oncologists flag this up, others don’t apparently.
Thank you for showing support and friendship -best wishes for all you are going through. Mhilda 
Thank you Tulip 29 - with all you are going through I am amazed that you have taken the time to reply me, an unknown name on a message board, and send a virtual hug. I hope I will be able to offer the same to others when I know a little more about it all. I went on the Flat Friends website last night which led to this. What brave ladies to share their intimate stories and show their changed bodies for the benefit of the other members of this breast cancer ‘club’ a club many of us never think about or want to join. All your tips are so thoughtful and appreciated. I hope you have people around you to offer practical help and emotional support. I am setting a reminder on my phone and will be thinking you on the 15th - if positive thoughts and wishes can travel virtually, they are already on their way to you. Take care
So sorry holly 52, I got your name wrong - head full of cotton wool. Love to you for the 15th x