radi8tors!!! hi everyone,
just wondered how you all are. its been 5 months since rads finished, been on arimidex since june. i’ve had a lot of mixed feelings these past months, lots of ups and downs as i’m sure you all have. bouts of depression and feeling alone.

had a lot of joint pain and stiffness with the arimidex and reall bad tiredness, but i have to say that in the last couple of weeks everything seems to be settling down and i feel a lot better, not like before, but an improvement. i also feel more positive in myself.

i had my first appointment with oncologist last week and that went well, he was pleased with everything. made me feel realy good and he was so nice, had lots of time for me to chat and ask any questions.

this year i’ve done things on impulse that i wouldnt have ever done before and i intend to keep on doing. i took my two youngest kids to a van gogh exhibition in edinburgh, we stayed overnight in a hotel, we all loved it! im going to dublin in two weeks for a girlie weekend, cant wait for that.

i have been off work since january when cancer was diagnosed, but feel the time is right to go back. i have an appointment to see my manager and personnel officer on tuesday to discuss my return. i think i will be going back on a phased return, building up the hours over a few months.
i work in a warehouse and it can be pretty heavy work, but hopefully it will be ok.
i have to say that my work has been really understanding and i’ve never been under any pressure to return. i know i’ve been lucky as i’ve read how some of you have had lots of problems with your jobs.

anyway just wanted to let everyone know how things are and to say that it does get better eventually.
ive been joining in with “First Lines” and “Lets Play” on chit chat and fun, its really good, keeps the mind active remembering old songs!!!
good luck to everyone who is having treatment just now.
love to all, especially all you radi8tors, ( just to explain, a group of about 8 of us were having rads at about the same time) take care all of you.
annie xx

Helloooo anniek *waves* It was nice to see your post…hope more radi8tors sign in with their news too!

As you said…and I bet it has been the same for us all…it has been a year of ups and downs. It’s strange to think that this time last year I was about to have ‘that’ mammogram - the one that started the roller coaster ride! Christmas and New Year passed in a blur of terror and tears as I prepared for the surgery and whatever was to follow. I never thought I would get through it but with the expertise of the medical staff and the support of some lovely people on this site I did and now I’m beginning to feel I can distance myself from BC, (which is why I rarely post now, though I do still read cos its nice to see how everyone else is doing). Despite the dark days I’ve had some amazing experiences this last year and been on the receiving end of incredible generosity and kindness in many and various ways. I know that I shall never be totally free of the fear of recurrence but it feels manageable now and life is good. I hope it is the same for the rest of our little group.

With very best wishes

Allexie XXX

Hi Radi8tors Hi all radi8tors,i was only thinking of you all the other day and wondering how you were all getting on.

I to have been on a very emotional jorney scince finnishing rads back in july,many tears have been shed,mood swings and i still live in fear of reacurrence.

I have had 2 panics,i started to feel unwell back in august but had blood tests and scans and all was ok,and today i have had another mammo and scan because i found a new lump, but thankfully its a swollen gland and not the big C back(i have posted on after treatment about that ).

I went back to work on the 31st October after being off for a year,im back part time till xmass slowly increasing my hours.

Im trying to put BC behind me now and get on with life,but its hard,at the moment im looking forward to 2 holidays ive booked for next year and rediscovering myself.

All the best radi8tors Bluebell.

hi alexie so good to hear from you and glad you are doing ok! yes we will always have the fear of recurrence but like you i can deal with that now and dont think about it too much!!
i had my meeting at work and start back on dec. 6th on reduced hours and will build up to my normal hours after christmas, i work 6hrs a day normally.
but i shall i have a wild weekend in dublin before i go back!!!
like you i always read the posts and sometimes post a message myself, like now. my first mammogram was in december last year, then january was the ONE that started it all. but thank god, it all worked out well. hard to believe its nearly a year, hey time flies when you’re having fun, haha.
all the best to you allexie, lets keep in touch.
love annie x

so pleased for you hi bluebell,
i have read you’re other post and thank god everything is alright, such a scare for you but what a relief now that everything is ok. but i know what you mean, it is hard to get on with life and try not too worry, but it is the only way forward, is’nt it. and you have you’re holiday to look forward to next year, not one but two!! good for you. i am off to dublin next week before i start back to work on dec 6th. i will be on reduced hours till after christmas when hopefully i will be up to my normal 6 hrs, it will be strange going back after nearly a year off!
it s so good to hear from you and allexie, i’m sure you have read her post too. we are all fighters and always will be!!
keep in touch, bluebell and best wishes for the future.
love annie x

Fighters Hi all - glad to know the team is still functioning.

I guess we’re all in the same boat again - not posting as much as we once did and trying hard to put things in the past.
Like Bluebell I had 2 scares. Neither of my own making either but I do thank God that the medical profession are a little too cautious sometimes.
I went through the agony of waiting for a scan (all clear) on lumps the doctor found at the 6 month check (my surgery was Feb) and I also went through a scan of the womb. The latter has identified a small fibroid - completely unrelated to BC and probably the cause of heavy bleeing etc over the years. So there’s a titchy bit of treatment to have for that.
My main problem is the implant which is now very uncomfortable.
According to my plastic surgeon - radio is the gift that keeps on giving - so he felt it was unwise to do anything for a while and I finally go back again in December when I hope to dicscuss what to do next.
I’m cheesed off that it all spills over into next year - it’s been bad enough coping with this one but at least my next op is cosmetic only.
I went back to work in April - still get tired but I cope.

And that’s it.

Is there any news of a private message system on this site yet???
Or you can find both myself and Allexie on “the other” site …

Take care everyone


hi morgaine great to hear from you morgaine. what is the “other site”.
annie x

Contact Hi Annie,

There are quite a few references to the other site around.
It’s another support forum where the emphasis is on mutual support. It’s not unlike this site - just a bit less formal and more chatty if you know what I mean.


See you soon,


Your good news Hi annie,

Just read your mssge and i found it encouraging to read, I am due to see my onc on 28/11 to discuss radiotherapy. Very scared of the unknown, but reading your mssge as given me faith.

Like you have felt there are days when i feel really low and and alone
(trying to get through a marital split at the same time) but reading these forums keep me sane…just…visiting here makes me not feel so alone, and i will re-read your mssge to give me hope.

Any way just to say all the best


Your good news Hi annie,

Just read your mssge and i found it encouraging to read, I am due to see my onc on 28/11 to discuss radiotherapy. Very scared of the unknown, but reading your mssge as given me faith.

Like you have felt there are days when i feel really low and and alone
(trying to get through a marital split at the same time) but reading these forums keep me sane…just…visiting here makes me not feel so alone, and i will re-read your mssge to give me hope.

Any way just to say all the best


hi elaine been reading through your posts, i too had lumpectomy and lymph removal back in january. lymph nodes were clear, thank god. i didnt need chemo just 23 sessions of rads. i am now taking arimidex.
you willl be fine with the rads, its not too bad, the worst is having to go to the hospital every day. i went on the bus, a three hour journey every day!! but i was fine. how far is it to your hospital, do you drive?
you will be tired but just rest whenever you can, thats what i did.
i think the main thing is to keep positive and know that there is a light at the end of the tunnel. it will seem daunting now but you will get through it.
i am so glad that you found my message encouraging, that is what is so good about this site, we’ve all been through the same thing and can help each other.
sorry about your marriage break up, it must be hard for you.
let us know how things go on the 28th, i will be thinking about you (and everyone out there who is starting on this journey) as im sure many others will be too.
remember you are not alone!!
take care, annie x

Hi radi8tors I’ve not posted here for a while, so great to find the radi8tor postings. Glad to hear that everyone seems OK. I’ve just had a mammogram, one year after diagnosis, and waiting for the results.

It’s strange really, sometimes it feels as though it never really happened, and other times it is still very scary.

I went to see a plastic surgeon last week - my breast cancer nurse referred me because although I only had a WLE and axillary node clearance, my boobs now look very different. Apparently the options are to have a lift and reduction on the boob that didn’t have cancer, the surgeon won;t operate on the one that did, or liposuction. I can’t make my mind up if I want to go through the trauma of another op, so haven;t made any decision yet.

Otherwise I feel fine, back at work full time (yuk!) but needs must. I actually feel healthier now than I did pre-cancer (or before I knew I had it), probably because I’m taking better care of myself now.

Anyhow hope all goes well for all of you and huge thanks for all the support over the last year.

Mollie x