I feel I have lost the person I was - I don’t even feel the same and can’t see any point in my life at all.
i am sorry but it’s true to say that even though the surgeries are done -.
i am stage 2 grade 2 and very much in a better situation than most so feel guilty even posting this.
i have have 30 years of poor health but the last 4 had managed with difficulties to get back to work in jobs around my community and in my profession.
i had big projects lined up this year and finally believed I had nailed it.
All now gone -
the fourth decade of my life affected - but this has finished me off.
i can’t eat properly dint skeep except with sleeping pills
I have cording and some swelling and neuropathic pain in my arm
I am religiously doing my excercises as directed and have good movement
i feel a total failure
I’m sorry to post like this but I’m really not coping at all well
BizzyLizzy
I really do not know what to say to you that might help to make you feel better other than I am 14 months past radiotherapy finishing, life has returned to normal, which at one pont I could not imagine would be the case.
Have you thought about having some counselling to see if that might help you, I had it as I started rads and it was amazing just to be able to talk to someone who did not know me but could make sense of how I was feeling at that time.
What I am hearing from your post is not that you are a failure but that you are a lady who has done amazingly well through a lot of adversity in your life and you have survived it all. This is your last part of active treatment so although it might not feel like it at the moment, there is light at the end of the tunnel.
What help are you having for your cording, and neuropathic pain. Is the swelling as a result of a seroma
Sending you a big hug
Helena xxx
I think we each react differently to finding ourselves caught up in the whole process of diagnosis, surgery and ongoing treatment. I’m in the same position as you but started rads on Monday so a little bit further along. I also know I’m in a good position compared to some others so it feels self indulgent to complain. But it’s awful.
I feel ok about myself and have not had other health problems. I think counselling would probably help you identify some strategies at this point in the journey. You might not feel it can help but it’s worth giving it a try.
As Lady Bowler says it does get better. But sometimes it feels as if it never will. Then one day you suddenly notice that it has. The other thing that can come along is depression, and it’s hardly surprising given what’s been happening to our bodies. Not sleeping makes everything a whole lot worse. Things like Mindfulness can help and this is much more available now. It’s a way of letting go of thoughts that just go round and round in our heads.
the first step is acknowledging how you feel and telling someone, which is what you have done here. Don’t underestimate how hard that first step is and what an achievement it is to have made it.
hugs
Liz
Cancer is one of the best funded parts of the NHS. Your team will help you out some how and maybe able to get you help for some of your other issues. You will get there and this forum is a great place for help and support when you are feeling low and a great place for companionship at all times. Wishing you well with your treatment xx
Thank you to you
I am getting excellent care and quickly
Sadly not in any way like the mental health services for which I have worked.
i am grateful to everyone who has helped and to you on the forum for your support.
my depression level is not good at all
but I am being well monitored
thanks again