... rather uncertain

… was told yesterday that I have a T1 and will need a lumpectomy, found as a result of routine screening (was 50 in March). Have told a couple of people but am wondering whether to tell more - have 2 brothers (one of whom lost his wife to BC before she was 40) and dad… mum died in 2000. Also 3 stepchildren (grown-up) an 18yr old son just left home. Don’t have a wide circle of friends… In a way feel like I’d rather not tell everyone…but on the other hand…

Effect so far is that I am spending way too much time on the web when I should be working … half of me worried and wanting to explore and half wanting to forget it and just deal with it matter of fact and not wanting to worry others with excess information…Obviously will be sore after the op and the rad will be time consuming / tiring … but other than than I may be a bit out of sorts when I see them what factors helped others decide who to tell?

Hi Chris

I am sorry to hear of your recent diagnosis of breast cancer, I am sure you will receive some valuable advice and support from your fellow users.

In addition, here is a link to a Breast Cancer Care publication ‘Resources Pack’ which can be ordered on line, it is filled with information to help you better understand your diagnosis, test results and the various treatments available:

breastcancercare.org.uk//content.php?page_id=7514

You are also welcome to contact our freephone confidential helpline on 0808 800 6000, the helpline team can offer you further support and a ‘listening ear’ so that you can talk about anything that is worrying you at the moment. The helpline is open Monday to Friday 9am-5pm and Saturday 9am-2pm.

On Thursday evenings we also run a Live Chat session for anyone diagnosed with breast cancer which may interest you, just look under the ‘Support for you’ tab at the top of this page or see the post on the front page of the forums for more details.

Hope this helps.

Best wishes

Lucy
Moderator
Breast Cancer Care

Chris,
I was ‘picked’ for lumpectomy after my second scan at the age of 54. First thoughts? It’s a mistake! Unfortunately that proved untrue and I’ve just had a second op to try and get all the ‘tissue’ involved

It’s obviously a personal choice who you decide to tell but it’s amazing how quickly the news gets around. Friends I’ve not seen for years have been sending flowers and telephoning for updates, even the ladies from a Spanish language class I attended - I didn’t realise I was quite so popular! It’s sad that you have already had bc in the family but it’s probably best that you tell them rather than them finding out from someone else.

You will be sore and tired for quite a time after the op, and if you get painkillers you will probably also get constipation! It depends whether they take lymph nodes for testing whether your arm will be as mobile as usual - if your job entails typing/computer work you may feel able to return after a short while - typing is great gentle exercise - but stretching and lifting could be difficult.

This site is a great support - you get the story straight from the horse’s mouth and lots of friendly voices - there are some seriously scary sites out there which you may already have discovered - avoid them like the plague - the reality is, more often than not, not as bad.
Good Luck
MaddyW xxxxx

Hi Chris,
Sorry you have joined us. I was recalled from my first mammogram (I’m 51) and thought nothing of it - my Mum always used to be recalled, because like me, she was well-endowed and often the mammograms didn’t come out clearly first time. I had just assumed this was what was happening to me, so it was a horrid shock to find I have an invasive ductal adenocarcinoma. I wasn’t sure who to tell beyond my parents and sister and my late husband’s sisters. i don’t have a wide circle of friends, but decided that I should be open about it and tell people I was positive so they didn’t start bringing me down with gloom and doom!

It is amazing how many people have been/are going through this - colleagues, neighbours, friends of people I barely know - people I haven’t really spoken to in the past have made a point of telling me they have been there and offering support, tips for coping and so on. I am really glad I spoke up and told people. I am sure you will find enormous support if you do decide to tell people.

I wasn’t too sure about telling my 17yr old nephew but thought it best to speak positively to him and just explain what they would do and why - I am glad I did as he had heard bits from my Mother and had been imagining far worse than is likely to happen!

I’m in for my sentinel node biopsy and lumpectomy tomorrow, and am looking forward to getting through this and getting on with life. I now know that far more people care about me than I ever imagined, and that is a great boost.

We will be rooting for you Chris, your circle of friends got a lot bigger when you logged onto this site.
best wishes,
Lesley

Thank you - welcome support & helpful comments. I am coming round to thinking openness will be best - If I am under the weather a bit at Xmas when I next see all the family it would be a miserable time for them to discover it… Also walking round Tesco yesterday thinking "if one in 3 people get some form or cancer then … " Am seeing my son in a week or so, will wait to tell him face to face - not expecting the op before then.

Lesley - good luck for the lumpectomy and sentinel - this sounds like a good new technique and I have been told they will do that for me too so like yourself - lets get it over with and get on with life!

Work is at home and all computer based so Maddy, you comments re typing went down well!

Thanks again…

Chris