Re 2ndaries and children, The Dragonfly Story

The Dragonfly

Once, in a little pond, in the muddy water under the lily pads,
there lived a little water beetle in a community of water
beetles. They lived a simple and comfortable life in the pond
with few disturbances and interruptions.

Once in a while, sadness would come to the community when one of
their fellow beetles would climb the stem of a lily pad and
would never be seen again. They knew when this happened; their
friend was dead, gone forever.

Then, one day, one little water beetle felt an irresistible urge
to climb up that stem. However, he was determined that he would
not leave forever. He would come back and tell his friends what
he had found at the top.

When he reached the top and climbed out of the water onto the
surface of the lily pad, he was so tired, and the sun felt so
warm, that he decided he must take a nap. As he slept, his body
changed and when he woke up, he had turned into a beautiful
blue-tailed dragonfly with broad wings and a slender body
designed for flying.

So, fly he did! And, as he soared he saw the beauty of a whole
new world and a far superior way of life to what he had never
known existed.

Then he remembered his beetle friends and how they were thinking
by now he was dead. He wanted to go back to tell them, and
explain to them that he was now more alive than he had ever been
before. His life had been fulfilled rather than ended.

But, his new body would not go down into the water. He could
not get back to tell his friends the good news. Then he
understood that their time would come, when they, too, would
know what he now knew. So, he raised his wings and flew off
into his joyous new life!

~Author Unknown~

thanks Jenny

Lovely way to explain this - I think particularly to a young girl, not particularly ready to go to the lily pad myself at the moment- but it is a nice story.
love
cathy

thanks Jenny,

my little girls are 38 and 26 they have just laft after spending a very enjoyable weekend with Ian and me.
The pain that was in their eyes was unbearable for me their mum to witness I wlll print the story on a card with a picture of them as a baby in my arms on the front.
Thank you so much for solving one of the many problems we face.

Love Debsxxx

oh flip I meant left not laft.xxx

Hi Jenny

Thanks for posting this - I hadnt got a clue what it was about the other night.

But now, having seen it - I have heard it and it really touches me - its lovely.

Thank you again

Love Anne xx

I’m still getting my head round this story. I couldn’t understand it at first but now having reached this far down the line, it makes sense and will use it to discuss with the children.
The hospital chaplins seem to always have copies of this book and it has a lovely cover and thoughts in so worth having. I carry it with me now.
Kate

Don’t have children so knock me on the head Jenny for intervening here!

I like this stoy in some ways but in others I think it could be a dodgy one to use with children. Young children can actually be quite literal in their interpretations and understandings. I think this story gives the impression that the world up there out of the pond is a nicer one…and some children might want to join it. The story needs something about how the pond is still a wonderful place to be too. I don’t think children just worry about what has happened to those they love, but also worry about themselves, how they will be looked after, and they think about going to find the one they have lost.

Just a thought

Jane

Will leave your bonce intact, Jane!

I know there are many variations on this story and I picked one at random from the net. I know it will not suit all, and I would not tell it to a child without further expanation (I had a memorable question and answer session one day in the car, with my kids, when I told them the story). Some of those involved in the children chat the other day had not come across the analogy so I am posting it for them.

And Cathy, why don’t you come and sit round my pond with me - saw a grass snake and a newt (OH thinks it is a great crested - I don’t) this morning. I hope to be watching the wildlife from that perspective for a long time to come - and I doubt the lily pad would take my weight!

Jenny

Another book is Badger’s Parting Gifts by Susan Varley…it’s available from Amazon UK and has some great reviews…I bought this book for my daughter, long, long before my diagnosis but to explain death. I’ve thought about recommending it before…although Badger dies of old age so in some ways perhaps written for dealing with a grandparent’s death, it’s a lovely book for children, it’s all about how his friends remember Badger after he’s died, when they are feeling sad…all the little things he did with them, taught them, and all the happy times they enjoyed together.
Belinda…x

I think that story should be used for adults as well as children. I would love to think that my beautiful Lisa is now a gorgeous dragonfly with wings, flying freely in a glorious new life full of beauty.

Strangely … I have just come in after buying a small pot for Lisa’s grave which I thought I could plant up with summer plants until we get the proper memorial stone on there and have just realized that it has a dragonfly on there! How odd is that? I didn’t read this story until I got back with the pot.
There have been a few odd things that have happened to me and Simon and we think that some of our decisions are not our own!

Anyway I love the story of the dragonfly
Love Sue x