I’m not really sure what to say except I hope you begin to feel much better. There are some thoughts which have helped. First, to cope with anxiety about health niggles, I think “unless the doctors tell me otherwise, this is not a sign of cancer spreading”. Second (advice from my mum) - be kind to yourself as you would a friend who has gone through all the things you’ve gone through. So, I do. I find lots of little treats for myself every single day. Third, I accept I don’t have to feel anything people tell me I’m supposed to feel. I don’t have to be positive all the time (it doesn’t mean you’ll definitely beat the illness as some people seem to assume!). It’s OK to be sad sometimes. It’s OK (as I did this week) to watch people in bikinis smoking at the pool on holiday and think “why have they still got two boobs and not non-smoking me?” You’re human! You’ve been through a lot. All feelings are legitimate! Sending best wishes and good vibes your way x