Really down today

Hi all
Really just want a moan today, sorry. Dx July 06. Had mx, chemo, Tamoxifen and am now on Arimidex. Finished chemo just before xmas 06. Xmas 07 had hysterectomy (nothing to do with cancer), xmas 08 had gall bladder out. Just when I should be feeling great(or feeling better anyway!) ongoing chronic pelvic nerve pain has got very much worse. Am on Gabapentin but it doesn’t seem to help much, have tried Acupuncture which didn’t help at all, and now pain clinic say nothing more they can do as I don’t want to try any more pills cos I’ve had such awful side effects from the ones I’ve tried. The pain is rotten, can’t walk far and can’t stay on my feet for very long. I’m absolutely fed-up with it all. Please can anyone cheer me up a bit. Sorry I’m going on when things are so much worse for some of you. Laraine xx

Hi Laraine, no need to apologise, think we all have our down days - I know I do and if you cant rant away on here … Being in pain is not good ! I have secondaries in my bones and was trying to soldier on in pain - its now under control and life is better - have you had morphine ? It sounds drastic but you cannot function with this pain - also,macmillan support may be able to help - sorry not much help but I am thinking of you and sending you hugs - hope you get some help with it soon xx lots of love xx

Its all relative isn’t it? It doesn’t really help to think that there are others worse off, it’s you that you should take care of. Pain drags you down worse than anything. have you got contact with Macmillan nurses? They may be able to help you, by explaining any Ses you might get on pain meds. There is such a huge variety out there that there is sure to be some that agree with you. Its a bit of a balancing act, and the Ses might be better than the pain you are experiencing.
I have had hynotherapy, for stress, but it also helps with pain management too. Might that be helpful?
Sending a VERY large cyber hug your way
x sarah

Hi Debonair
I must have posted at the same time. I have bone mets too, dx at primary dx in May 2010.
x sarah

Hi Debonair,
I hadn’t even thought of Macmillon nurses, thought they were only for cancer but will definately give them a try.

Hi Sarah,
I’ve also had hypnotherapy for stress and still listen to the relaxation tape I was given there but it doesn’t seem to help. Oh what a whinger I sound!!
Thanks for your help,sending you big hugs back, I know you must need them too. xxx

I had a friend who did medical market research and one of the topics she was investigating was low-dose anti-depressants for chronic pain. That might be something to discuss with the pain clinic to see if they think it might be worth looking at. From what I remember it is a much lower dose than is used to treat depression, and is one of those side-effects that’s actually quite useful. I’m very lucky to not have had chronic pain but I know from my dad who has had a bad back for decades that it can really get you down.

Thanks chocciemuffin,
Got in touch with Macmillan nurse this afternoon and that was one of the things she suggested, in fact she said there are a few things more I can try. Feel a lot better now that I know that acupuncture wasn’t the last ditch attempt that I was led to believe it was. Things were looking pretty hopeless this morning. xx

I heard just now that one of my oldest friends from School days and beyond died last night, and I didn’t even know she was ill. Her youngest son told me she’d had bc, been treated for it, and had kept it a secret from her Family and friends. I feel incredibly sad that she didn’t let me know, but she was always adamant she would never have a smear test or a mammogram, as she’d rather not know, bless her, and I guess she was trying to protect everyone. Times like this that I wish I had made more effort to contact her while I could.

Hi heather dont feel so bad about not making much of an effort with your friend im sure she wud have called you if she needed some people like to things privatly im so soory for your loss of a gud friend you take care

Hi elaine-r. I know you’re right, but I just hope she had local friends around IF she wanted them. We often went months without contacting one another, but I didn’t get a Xmas card this year…Soo unlike my friend, and I should have followed it up with a phone call. It’s clear with hindsight, I suppose.
Thanks for your condolences, have now got to tell oldest my Son, who was very close to my friend and her 2 Sons… dreading it.

It makes it even more personal knowing that she had the same thing that we all have, doesn’t it.

Don’t beat yourself up about it though, we all have perfect vision with hindsight but things are never as clear in the moment.

Yes, it does, Choccie, especially as I gather she went through all the treatment and it came back elsewhere. My old friend must have kept it quiet for several months.
You’re right, I shouldn’t beat myself up about it, I couldn’t have prevented anything if I had known. It’s just a b…d of a disease, isn’t it?
Hopefully I shall be more accepting of the situation tomorrow.X