Just thought I’d share with you all a really good book that I’ve found about telling very young children (2-4 years old) about Breast Cancer. Its called Mom and the Polka Dot Boo-Boo. Its American but not overly so and really easy to read and you can buy on Amazon.
I didn’t actually read all the words, but I talked with my little boy around the pictures about what is happening to me now. He’s 2 and half so much too young to really understand what is going on and we felt we didn’t need to tell him anything until now as he was fine about me losing my hair and we managed to get family looking after him on all of my ‘bad’ days so he never saw me ill or anything.
I’ve just finished 8 cycles of chemo and have been pretty ok on it up until about a month ago. So, when I started to feel really ill and so wiped out all the time, he realised something was wrong but couldn’t communicate that and started really playing up and getting very clingy which he’s never been. Because he’s 2 and half, his imagination is wild at the moment!
Anyway, I’m having surgery on 20th so realised I needed to talk to him so found this book and it was brilliant! He really took it all in and wanted to read it a few times since and is soooo much calmer since.
It doesn’t talk about surgery at all though, but I just made it up using their pictures.
Anyway, thought it would be good to share as this is definately one of the hardest things I’ve had to do through this whole experice (so far!). When I first read the book, I cried loads, then I showed my husband and he read it and cried loads so god knows how I actually read it to my little boy without crying!!
Anyone else got any top tips for telling kids about surgery???
Whilst you are waiting for others to reply with their experiences you may find it useful to read the Breast Cancer Care booklet ‘Talking with your children about breast cancer’. You can find this at the following link:-
I had my first surgery in June (lumpectomy & node removal) and told my kids, aged 18 months & 4yrs at the time that Mummy was going into hospital so that the doctors could fix Mummy’s boob as it was poorly. Didn’t see the need to tell them that the doctors were going to cut me open with a sharp knife, thought it might frighten them, no need.
They were fine about it.
Have just been in for mastectomy 3 days ago & told them that my boob still was still a bit poorly so the doctors needed to take it away & fix it. They’ll put it back on when it’s all mended (recon). Explained it’s like when Daddy has to leave his car in the garage - 4 year old thought that was quite funny.
She likes my softees, pops them under her jumper & pretends she’s got “big boobies like mummy”
She’s been great through it all, and the now 2 year old is not phased one bit.
I won’t show them my scar until it’s healed a bit & they seem ready.
You know your child best so you will find the best way to explain it to him. We & they are all different.
Good luck with it all.
xx
My daughter was 2 when I was diagnosed. I bought ‘Sammy’s Mommy has Cancer’ which was great, good illustrations and ends up on the hair growing back bit… goes through surgery (and exercises!) and chemo, nice simple text. We also bought ‘A Dragon in Your Heart’. although a picture book, this feels like it’s for older children. It deals a lot more with the emotional side of it all.
Even though she was only two, we did tell my daughter a lot: I had bad cells in my boobs, which were going to be cut out, all about the strong medicine which was going to make my hair fall out, etc. I had a line put in, which she was fascinated with, and she saw my scars once they were healed. She seemed quite OK with it all, even announcing cheerily at nursery ‘My Mummy’s got cancer!’
I think she’s got through it OK, she’s four now, and does know I’ve had cancer, but how much she remembers or understands, I’m not sure.
All the best to all those going through it with young children, it ain’t easy!