Hi everyone. I’m totally new to speaking to people outside the family about my condition, but I think it’s now necessary to talk to people who truly understand.
I had breast cancer back in 2013 at the ripe old age of 38. I had my left breast removed, reconstructed and had chemo and radiotherapy. All was well until I got COVID in March this year. They put my symptoms down to “long COVID” but I just knew it was more than that.
To cut a long story short, I was diagnosed in May with bone mets. It’s in the hip, spine and last week I found out it’s also back in the breast. The pain was crazy sore in my spine but I had radiotherapy last week and i am trying to cut my morphine out altogether so I can get back to work. I was on 35mg MST twice a day with liquid morphine which I was taking like juice. I was also taking 300mg Gabapentin 3 times a day, along with paracetamol. I’m now on 10mg MST twice a day and 600mg Gabapentin 3 times a day. I’m also on Ibandronic Acid along with Palbociclib & Fulvestrant.
I don’t really have an option about going back to work as I live alone and have a mortgage and bills (like everyone else) with no savings. I work in the care sector and can be involved in heavy lifting and I’m dreading going back. I love my work but I am terrified in case I do myself harm. Does anyone else in a similar situation work?
I feel my mood getting a bit low so thought I’d try talking to people who understand.
I need to work for my sanity as well as the financial side and don’t know how I’ll cope if I need to retire at 47. The other part of me is saying that I should stay home, but I don’t want to live out what time I have left living hand to mouth. I’m all confused and could scream. I’ve reduced my pain meds without a doctor’s consent in order to get back to work but can sometimes feel that I’m not managing on the low dose of MST.
I don’t know what to do or who to talk to. I lost my Mum to the very same thing 4 years ago and she was the only person who would give me the right advice.
Does anyone have any advice please?