Recent diagnosis really worried

Hi I’m new to this site and beside myself with worry, I’ve been diagnosed with a 23mm invasive ductal lump with 10 nodes out of 30 affected! I’ve had a left mastectomy and full node clearance last week but it’s been classed as stage 3 as originally was 2 but with the nodes is 3 and her2 negative! Has anyone else had 10 or similar nodes involved and got through to be living a cancer free life, I can’t stop crying and thinking I’m doomed, sorry I’m feeling so negative at the moment, I’m 48 with hubby and 2 young children and dread to think I may not be there for them!

Hi Deejay ,welcome to the forum .There is a lady on the forum still alive and kicking 10 years plus on from diagnosis with 16/16 nodes affected and many other ladies with multiple node involvement still going strong many years later .There are more and more sophisticated treatments for breast cancer these days that can help stop spread and keep things stable for many years even if the ****** has made its way outside your boob /lymph nodes.They will throw everything at it .Jill.xx

Thanks Jill, it totally shook me to the core yesterday when he told me that 10 out of 30 removed were infected I was sure that it would spread even though at the moment the ct scan/mri show clear of spread! That’s so reassuring to hear that there are women out there living long cancer free lives after a similar diagnosis to mine, thanks so much it’s what I need to hear to get more positive xx Deb


I also have a family member who had an aggressive BC and many nodes affected and is still BC free, 6 years on. The positive thing is that it’s all now removed. Take all follow on treatment offered and with time, you will be able to move on from this.

Sending a gentle hug.

Sue xx

Hi Deb,
Sorry you yourself here, but here’s loads of support, so do come & chat or vent whenever you need to. Your feelings are totally normal.
As Jill says, they’re certainly others doing well following a stage 3 diagnosis. Although it is horrible to go through, thankfully it can now be dealt with & there is no evidence it’s gone anywhere else. Just to add, there are also others here who are living well for years with a stage 4 diagnosis.
It is all such a shock, but it does pass.
Sending hugs
ann x

Thanks so much Sue, that’s just what I needed to hear as when I heard it was now stage 3 from initially stage 2 I’ve just thought I’m not going to get through this, I’m so thankful I’ve found this forum to give me some positivity to fight through this and come out ok, thanks it means so much at this time Deb xx

Thanks Ann you have given me a bit of light at the end of this very scary tunnel and I don’t feel so isolated and as long as I know I can beat this as others have il fight it, thanks again I really do appreciate your support Deb x

Any diagnoses is hard. I was diagnosed with triple negative BC in July. 4cm tumour. No node inv. I was a total wreck, started chemo in sept finish in 7 weeks. I can see the light now and after being non responsive following 4 cycles of EC I thought I was doomed. I’m 2 cycles in of carbo 3 weekly and paclotaxol weekly and was told today following a scan my tumour has shrunk from 4cm to 1cm. You will get there. Be positive every day, it’s hard, but you can do it, get the fire lit in your belly. So many get over this and you will too. Love and support from family will help too. Be kind to yourself

Wow that’s fabulous news and the best Xmas present hey! I’m not too clued up on triple negative type although they are all very scary I’m presuming they had to shrink it before removing it but what a relief for you! I begin my journey in a couple of weeks with chemo and even though I will be upset with the fear and trauma of losing my long hair I need to start it to feel safer! I do need to be more positive for my family and put my trust in the specialists with the treatments out there as you are proof that they are amazing! Thanks for sharing your journey it does help not to focus on just the bad stories and focus more on the countless fabulous stories like yours, have a lovely Xmas xxx

Leave & ignore those bad stories, Deb, they’re not about you or many of us here, for that matter.
ann x

Thanks Ann, it’s so scary and I think I’m paranoid I’ve even been back today as I thought there was an additional lump in my armpit where they have just removed all my nodes but been told it’s just ligaments! I do feel a bit more positive with the lovely ladies here who have given me some reassurance so thankyou it really has helped x

Hi Deejay


Welcome to the forum. You have come to the right place. We were all worried sick when we were first told the news, that is a natural reaction, the fear of not knowing what the future holds can be really frightening. I also felt that I was “doomed” and I don’t mind admitting that I did lots of crying too at the beginning. Re your lymph nodes, looking at this from another perspective 2/3 of them are not affected. My diagnosis was similar to yours. I had an op (1/2 of my lymph nodes removed and no I haven’t developed lymphoedema since) then chemo (not nice but it seems to have worked) I lost all my hair (that grew back) then I had radiotherapy (no side effects at all from that much to my surprise). I am now approaching the five year mark and I am amazed because I never expected to feel as good as I do at the moment. Going through all of this does make you pause and reflect upon how you live your life though and I make the most of every day now. I am much older than you and I even do aerobics! I know it isn’t easy but it helps if you just try to take one day at a time. 

Ah thankyou so much it is so reassuring that people with a similar diagnosis to mine have come through this awful time to lead a cancer free normal life afterwards, as you say it is fear of the unknown and I’m sure each year that goes by the better we feel! I’m ready in a strange way to get on with the treatment however unpleasant it may be just to know that any nasty stuff lingering is dealt with! Thanks again each person’s journey just pushes me a little bit towards more positive thoughts xx

Yes Deb, so right. We start off feeling scared s…less with it all, then just want to get on with it. Then as it turns out, it usually does not tend to be as bad as our imaginings. X