I’ve just been diagnosed with breast cancer and am waiting for biopsy results for them to decide what treatment is recommended. All I know so far is that the mass/lump is quite large, it has been there for some time and at least one lymph node is borderline so they took tissue from both areas. Unfortunately, I lost my husband of 52 years just 6 months ago, so right now, I am feeling lost, unsupported, terrified and frankly fearing the worst. The doctor I saw at the Breast Clinic suggested that I don’t tell my two daughters until I know what the biopsy results are and what treatment is suggested, so apart from one friend who came with me to the clinic, no one else knows. This has made me feel all the more alone particularly without my husband to just put his arms around me. I do realise that it’s likely to be fellow sufferers who will read this, so sorry if I sound incredibly sorry for myself but I right now, I suppose I am.
Agnes I am so sorry that you are going through this so soon after losing your husband. If you feel you would like to tell your daughters then I think you should it is your decision. I told my adult children before my biopsy and I found it helped me and them to deal with my diagnosis. Also remember there is so much treatment available now. Sending you a big hug. Bookie xx
oh @The_Wild_Goose I am so sorry. You are absolutely not being selfish and are in the right place for support.
I’m 67 and my partner died from MND three years ago and my beloved mother from dementia 20 months ago. I gladly gave up a career aged 59 to be a carer for them both. The grief is present and dominant every day. I was diagnosed with BC six months ago. So I do understand your ‘aloneness’.
Do you want to involve your children now? If you do then you should. I can see the sense in delaying telling your girls until you can sit them down and say “this is where I am now and this is what we’re going to do about it” as the course of treatment is all anyone wants to know. It will be hard and they may suspect something is wrong in which case I guess you have to make a decision anyway. Waiting for biopsy results is hard but it does take a while for the tests to produce a result. Until you know for sure, try not to think the worst, as hard as that may be.
Do you have a Maggie’ s Centre anywhere near you for a bit of support? Use this forum as often as possible as a support mechanism - there isn’t a thing you can think or feel or say that hasn’t been experienced by multiple people on here. Use the friendly strangers on this forum and involve your friend and the time will pass, after which you can talk to your children if you feel you can’t talk to them now. This early waiting is the worst and it will soon be over.
Hi sorry you feel so alone, but your not we are here to support. I too am awaiting results of biopsies taken last week. Have great support from my partner of 20 yrs. Haven’t told my family either. Try and stay positive. X